Hey libs, I want a divorce...

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of
future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our
two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk
it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion.. That will be the difficult part, but I
am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and
disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns
and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all
three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your
beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the
hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the
Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can
have the pea ceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of
life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome
to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have
the U.N.. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and
not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll
keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to
other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not
agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you
ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..


Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda
with you.

Excellant document from a Law Student. And I am willing to bet free health care that his proffesor only gave it a "c" because it did not agree with current popular belief. It would be an interesting experiment if a "Confederacy" again used it's rights based on constitutional law to secession from the "Union" based on the above standards, who would survive and thrive in today's world. Remmember by the definition of the times we were a group of 13 states (read as countries) who agreed to form a "Union" for mutual defense. Each had it's own currency, governments, and you were not an "American" you were a "Virginian", or "New Yorker". South Carolina was well within its rights based on the Declaration of Independance, and used Constitutional Law to seceed from the "Union" based on "irreconcilable differences".

But to many of the "sheeple" here, the intent of the original quoted writing is above their indoctronated education level or understanding.

Edited by oldsoldier - 24 March 2009 at 11:43am

Edited by Eville - 24 March 2009 at 12:01pm

Collecting my thoughts on this thread:

I find it slightly ironic that the neo-conservative base, which called for American-unification post Sept. 11, has now gone full tilt into separation mode. Slightly indicative of what you actually care about more, country or ideology.

If we are going to do a theoretical split though, then why not divide it via political affiliation.

The red, conservative welfare queens can have their own land. Consistently, the red states draw more funding, while the blue states put in.

If you want to play this whole "We are the strong ones of society" thing, at least go by the numbers.

BUT U LIBRALS WHINED ABOUT BUSH HE WAS A GOOD PRESIDENT NOW ITS OUR TURN QQQQQQQQ

I can't believe I am actually responding to this (especially since Whale stole my intended response), but I am wondering what will happen with the Obama-supporting greedy firearms-company CEO under this division? He seems a bit stuck.

(oh yeah - he got fired. problem fixed.)

oldsoldier wrote: I really do believe that if the Red States can relieve themselves of the Federal programs of dependance they can be financially solvent as the dependant class moves to the Blue State to continue thier current lifestyle of dependance.

So the red states being more reliant on Federal aid is actually because of secret dependent-lifestyle-blue-state folk hiding out within the state and not the mismanagement at the local level, and certainly not the slight possibility that socially conservative policy does not equal good economic policy.

Gotcha.

OS, I like how you say "once a secession takes place" instead of "if".

Skillet42565 wrote: THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!

More like the midwest will rise up... piss and moan for the next 4 years then sit back down.