My Friday the 13th

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   So, I had my first "hair on the back of your neck" moment at work last week. It's a long story, but I figured there's room for it on the front page these days anyways.
To set the scene, I work in a very rural county, which is a little over 600 square miles large. Much of it looks like it's out of Jeepers Creepers or Children of the Corn. This happened at about 0300 on Friday.

Well, Friday morning (my 2nd shift by myself), I got sent to a 911 hangup. They are one of the two or three most common calls we get, so when it was on my computer, it wasn't a big deal. However, once it came out on the radio, dispatch said that someone had called, said "help me," and then hung up. Hearing this, the other rookie on my shift(who's been solo about 2 weeks longer than me) says he's headed that way with me.

Well, on the way, dispatch says they received another hang up from that location, and that when they tried calling back, there was nothing but a dial tone. 

Anyways, we finally find the address, because it's a little off the road and the lettering is gone off the mailbox. It's a run down building with black bags instead of glass in the windows, and an a/c unit hanging out of a window propped up by a 2x4. 

The front door is wide open. SOB.

So, we're announcing ourselves and stepping into a living room that is 50% plywood and 50% 1950's furniture covered in spider webs.Cabinets were dirty and hanging from their hinges. There was one solitary, bare lightbulb hanging over a table stacked 7 deep with VHS tapes. The rest of the house is around a 90* corner to the left, and as I reached the corner to make the turn, there was a loud scream and some other violent sounds coming from the back of the house. I then did 3 things simultaneously.

1) Shared a **edited**  look with the other deputy
2) Tried to raise the volume of my voice to cover up the fact that I was 3 seconds from it cracking like a 12 year old.
3) Exerted more control over my bladder than I ever thought possible to prevent an embarrassing puppy response to that particular stimuli.

After a few seconds, the sounds were recognizable as a recording, not an actual axe murder in progress. 

We kept clearing the house, opening doors with our boots with an amount of gusto that is only found in two green rookies trying to not wet themselves in a dark house. 

There's not a soul in the entire house. 

There's nobody around outside. Nothing. Just a frozen bottle of water on a chair in the living room. No calls from the hospital to report anything. No one on the roads for 20 miles in either direction. Just a puppy that was outside when we finally had the whole scene secured.

And then about an hour later I hit a baby deer, which I guess was actually more violent than anything in the entire haunted house, but seems less Friday the 13th-ish.