I’m a Coke addict

Yes, I can break through the denial and admit it. Coca-cola is a way of life for me.

I drink so much of the stuff I'm surprised I don't have acidic blood like in the Alien movies.

The Coca-Cola company could run a small shop on the profits I provide for them.

As an example: After my wedding in September, and the "bangin'" reception after, we brought home 16 2-liters of Coke. Figure in the honeymoon and the conclusion is that between September 25th and this past weekend, I drank all of those 2-liter bottles. Plus, I drink 3-5 cans here at work each day. (One for breakfast, one mid-morning, two for lunch, one for the ride home.) I'll get a 20 oz. bottle for class after work, and at home, because I prefer cans to 2-liters, I've had 2 24-packs in this same span of time, although half a dozen of those cans went to others.

That makes, in eleven weeks, roughly 260 cans, 16 2-liters, and 24 20-oz bottles of Coke. Why am I not dead?

That's a total of 4624 ounces.

Edit: I had to recount my weeks and recount the ounces.

Edited by reifidom

ShortyBP wrote: I know why you're not dead. Because you are a robot.

he would have to be a robot to come up with those numbers.

I've got nearly the same addiction for Sprite.

Freakin college puts a soda machine in our building...every other one on campus has a juice machine....not us, we get soda. Then they complain that college students aren't healthy.

There's a new Coca-Cola product coming out.

Coca-Cola Bläk.

Coke and coffee combined.

As disgusting as it sounds, I'm just insane enough to try it.

ShortyBP wrote: I know why you're not dead. Because you are a robot. That's the only explanation I can come up with, given all that acid should have disintegrated your innards by now.

His innards could be protected by something corrosion-resistant, like chrome plating.

Edited by Homer J

Coke Classic for me, I used to live on the stuff. Now it's just at work that I ingest massive amounts. 

It's funny, but now that I know I'm averaging nearly 15 gallons of Coke a month I'm a little weirded out by it. My body must hate me right now. I wonder what this much Coke would do to a system not used to it? Am I some kind of mutant, adapted to survive these conditions?

dont worry my friend. Coke is awesome!  but 15 gallons???  im dangerous after just 2 so how do u not destroy the place u work in from the caffeine coursing through your veins?  my friend u dont need a 12 step program. You need to go on Survivor and just drink water all the time (that way ill laugh at you drinking everyones water and you can go through withdrawl away from civilization however, ur gonna have a lot of head busting headaches in withdrawl so i warn you now. seriously)

Actually, I can go for a few days with no ill effects from lack of Coke. I do that from time to time just for a change of pace, or I'll switch to tea or juice. Coke doesn't actually put me on edge, which is strange I guess. I can pound them back all day and feel fine. I sleep pretty well, and I can still play the occasional sport.

I'm a chemicaly imbalanced freak of nature.

I haven't tried trees, but I go through toilets like crazy. The trick is to use public restrooms whenever possible. Rotate locations to ease the strain on a particular facility, you know...
And I have an enormahuge bladder. I once kind of had to go right before Titanic started, and I hate getting up during movies. I drank a 64oz drink during the movie and got home before I went.

Edited by reifidom

u lucky little non-hyperactive man

TheSpookyKids87 wrote: must be the nipple rings.

You must be right. It's the unaccounted for variable in the equation. :) If I took them out the side effects might be fatal. To be safe I should decrease the gauge to 10 from 12.