Oreo: America’s Favorite Cookie?

Is it? Is it really? While very tasty, the Oreo boasts a resume replete with flaws, not the least of which I shall address here. I am referring, of course, to the crumble.

The crumble is a cookie characteristic widely known to cause problems in situations ranging from bedtime snacking (crumbs in the bed) to movie watching (managing dark colored cookie bits in the dark) to casual date snacking (half the cookie falling apart after a bite). All of these issues are problematic at best, and downright disasterous if left unchecked. The potential for ruining an entire night's sleep, creating a mess as somebody's movie night guest, or making a fool of one's self on an early date, is far too great for the cookie making community at large to ignore. A solution must be found if Oreo would like to remain "America's Favorite Cookie."

Solutions exist, such as soft cookies, or cookies small enough to comfortably make one bite. Oreo's are nearly this size, but in certain situations, fitting an entire Oreo into your mouth is awkward or impractical, such as with a loved one, with one Oreo remaining. Some would dip the Oreo in milk to soften it, but this solution is problematic at best. The lack of milk or being lactose intolerant leaves a person back at square one. Also, some cookies, such as Chips Ahoy, do not lend themselves as well to milk dipping.

Instead, I offer two suggestions. One, a cookie sleeve, that will cover the cookie, leaving bite room, and catching any cookie bits falling off. This may seem impractical, but I believe it solves more problems than it creates. Two, create Oreos with a ridge along the middle line, such as in sidewalks, to prevent cracking in other places. This will effectively divide the Oreo in two while retaining its distinctive round shape.

Together we can improve and make safe the cookie world once more. Oreo can improve, and thus retain its title as America's Favorite Cookie. Thank you.

Americas favorite cookie has to be the Chocolate Chip. No contest.

Although, post coital, the man could realize, "Damn, i should have went for the icing"

While I do enjoy the Oreo, I too think America's greatest cookie is Chocolate Chip.

Maybe in certain circumstances, but I'm trying to read and eat Oreos. Messy. Crumbs in the binding.

oreos are the best, soaked in milk and then scooped out with a spoon.  they should rename em to americas finest dipable cookie

You forgot to mention that they can stick to your teeth which looks pretty disgusting. The single biggest problem I've encountered with oreoes was following them with a rediculous amount of beer, vomiting black crud on awhite cat, then trying to catch it and clean it off while you're wasted. That was the worst new year's eve ever.

I personally prefer chocolate cookies with vanilla chips.

I'll eat Oreos, but they're nowhere near my favorite.

My main gripe with Oreos is all these horrible holiday variations. I absolutely love the basic, plain-jane, white frosting classic Oreos, but those "mint frosting" and "Halloween-colored frosting" designs really don't flip my skirt, if you get my drift.

Oreos are good, but they have all the problems riefdom listed and then some.

If it's chocolate chip, it might as well be oatmeal chocolate chip, as far as I'm concerned. I also don't like chocolate chip cookies with more chocolate than cookie! The chocolate chips are meant to compliment the cookie, not overpower it.

I also hate walnuts and that sort of crap in my cookies.

I personally would say America's cookie would have to be a toss-up, between 3 contenders.....the first 2 from the good old Girl Scouts of America. Thin mints, and somoas. The thin mint being the type of cookie that you can eat an entire box on with a few glasses of milk, they are just so smooth. The samoas are much more rich, with the ability to satisfy with just a few cookies.

But honestly, if America wants to do as I think it should, which is strive to be the best, it should settle for nothing less than the chocolate mint Milano brand cookie.