The Gum Industry

      The gum industry has really been booming lately. With a quick stock quote, you can see that the major gum manufacturing companies have been rising a steady 2 points a day for the past week. Why is this, you may ask? The answer is simple. The gum itself costs around $.02 per pack of gum to make. It is then sold for $.50-$.75 for one pack. That is a 250,000% increase. If you can make that much off one pack of gum, you can be set the rest of your life.
      The general media has been mentioning the oil industry as the most profitable, but they have vastly overlooked the industry of gum. Recently, a man from japan named Kijota Tsunami bought 100 shares of stock $500 from a gum company which will remain namless. Just this week, he sold each share for $10,000. If you're too lazy to do the math, that is a cool $1,000,000. He is now looking to actually buy the country of Japan. I can believe it, can you? If you do not believe, here is a picture of Mr. Tsunami.

      Now let's take a moment to look at some charts.

This chart shows us how many time per day an email reguarding gum is sent around the world. Basically, it's never. But you can imagine if people actually did discuss gum in emails, that it would be in the "over 20" column.

This next graph is shocking.

Now in this pie chart, it's blatantly obvious what's going on. One word. Crime. This chart shows the equally disturbing balance of people stealing gum over the internet. Both the internal, and external threats are the same. Something must be done about this. I'm calling on you to help Mr. Tsunami save japan from the computer gum theifs. I know you guys will all help, but please keep him in your thoughts. He's fighting a battle of witts and tears.

But really, summer is almost here. Are you guys ready to wear short shorts all day long?

What the hell kind of gum are you on?

Just google Mr. Tsunami's name. The proof is all there. CNN just did a great little piece on him.

I wore them all summer. Gotta love Texas. 

isn't this how the great depression started?

This is the kind of thread this forum needs
MORE OF!

Skittles gum FTW

Tae Kwon Do wrote: A Chewlys Gum Rep? So your stirring up all this anti-smoking sentiment, for what?, so you can sell more gum?

pfft. Its not like chewing gum makes you look cooler like smoking. "Oh look at me I can smack my lips with no fashion or sense of style".

People that chew gum only do it to make up for not being cool enough to smoke.

Dont hate.

I just dont watch movies that often.