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Murphy’s Laws of Combat |
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uruz6
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Topic: Murphy’s Laws of CombatPosted: 21 August 2006 at 10:29am |
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Thought everyone might enjoy this...
MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT 1. You are not a Superman 2. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid 3. When in doubt, empty your magazine 4. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you 5. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you 6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder 7. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush 8. No plan survives the first contact intact 9. Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire (This is why aircraft carriers are called "bomb magnets") 10. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed toward you 11. Try to look unimportant - they may be low on ammo 12. All five second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds 13. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short 14. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack 15. Recoilless rifles -aren't 16. Suppressive fire - won't 17. Friendly fire - isn't 18. If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU! 19. The important things are always simple 20. The simple things are always hard 21. The easy way is always mined 22. If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat 23. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy 24. Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing 25. Teamwork is essential, it gives them other people to shoot at 26. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out 27. Incoming fire has the right of way 28. No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection 29. No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat 30. Ambushes never draw the enemy, NDPs do 31. Tracers work both ways 32. Beer math is: two beers times 37 men equals 49 cases 33. Body count math is: two guerrillas plus one portable plus two pigs equals 37 enemy killed in action 34. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire 35. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take (precedent generates expectations) 36. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately 37. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they're both right 38. All-weather air support does not work in bad weather 39. The bursting radius of a hand-grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range 40. The only terrain you actually control is the terrain covered by your two feet 41. Man-portable designated equipment never says how many men 42. The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins 43. REMFs are everywhere 44. Precision bombing is normally accurate within plus or minus one mile 45. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs 46. The best tank killer is another tank; therefore, tanks are always fighting each other and have no time to fight the war 47. Murphy was a grunt Murphy's Laws of Combat taken from "www.snipersparadise.com" Edited by uruz6 - 21 August 2006 at 10:31am |
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sinisterNorth
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1 strike, language, 10/3 Joined: 30 May 2004 Location: PA Status: Offline Points: 10463 |
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Posted: 21 August 2006 at 10:48am |
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I read 15 of them and scrolled down to see 47, so I stopped...
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Pumpker'd; (V.) When a pump player runs up and shoots you at point blank range because you thought 20bps made you good.
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uruz6
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Posted: 21 August 2006 at 10:52am |
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All depends on how many of then you're willing to read I suppose... |
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Predatorr
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Strike 1 - Rules 1 and 2 Joined: 28 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3795 |
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Posted: 21 August 2006 at 10:55am |
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meh, i chuckled once or twice, but 47 is a bit much
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Clark Kent
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Posted: 21 August 2006 at 10:57am |
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Now I know where Marcinko got the material for his books...
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Tae Kwon Do
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Posted: 21 August 2006 at 11:04am |
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Every last one of them. I read one of his books, which means I read all of them. |
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brihard
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Strike 1 - Making stuff up Joined: 05 September 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 10155 |
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Posted: 21 August 2006 at 11:49am |
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Meh. Old and dated, and a lot of it is too inaccurate to be funny.
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"Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation."
-FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
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Mack
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 6:10pm |
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He forgot number 48:
Murphy was an optimist. |
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Destruction
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 6:16pm |
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WAR!
IT'S FANTASTIC! |
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u dont know what to do ur getting mottor boatted
Men are from Magmar, women are from Venusaur. |
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TEHGANGSTER
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Guested - Dodging Joined: 26 January 2006 Location: Ireland Status: Offline Points: 2415 |
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 6:34pm |
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fool! |
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I am a leaf on the wind, watch how i soar. |
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BARREL BREAK
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 8:15pm |
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I was mildly amused. Not enough to laugh, but enough for one smile. Just one.
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Destruction
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 8:16pm |
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That's pushing it, man.
Quotation from "Hot Shots! Part Deux" Edited by Destruction - 22 August 2006 at 8:17pm |
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u dont know what to do ur getting mottor boatted
Men are from Magmar, women are from Venusaur. |
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Benjichang
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 8:22pm |
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Woooooo military stuff. Awesome.
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![]() irc.esper.net #paintball |
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Destruction
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 8:38pm |
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WOOOOOOOOOOO
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u dont know what to do ur getting mottor boatted
Men are from Magmar, women are from Venusaur. |
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Kristofer
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 9:35pm |
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I have that Murphy T-Shirt.
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Farcry0092
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 10:09pm |
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i must be really tierd cuz i lol'd |
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__sneaky__
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 10:18pm |
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I posted this a wihle back |
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"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl
Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
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Apotheosis
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 10:19pm |
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Actually he had two, the second being Red Cell. Edited by Apotheosis - 22 August 2006 at 10:31pm |
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God Of War
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 10:21pm |
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i heard most of those before
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Semper Fi
98custom 14" Proggressive barrel 20 oz C02 tank R/T kit EmpireII auto hopper |
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uruz6
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Posted: 22 August 2006 at 11:53pm |
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Im hoping you meant "Murphy" forgot to put in number 48, cus if not I'm a she. -shakes fist- |
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