Relationship troubles

 

I'm in a bit of a sticky and looking for some advice from you love-machines out there.

Heres the situation, I'm currently in a long distance relationship that is going to hell in a hang bag fast. I see it ending some time very soon. There is also a girl at school here that is friends with my room mate whom I find very enjoyable. My room mate is totally down with me dating her and even went and tried to set us up on a “date” 2 nights ago. Things didn't go as well as I'd hoped. She was sick and in not the best of moods. Also, the fact that I carry a pocket knife with me really creeped her out (even though I never got a chance to explain it to her).

My room mate talked to her today and it seems she is “still not over” another guy who used her for sex then cut bait. I try to engage in casual conversation with her and she she doesn't seem like she wants to talk.

I'm really not sure where to go from here? To go continue my pursuit or cut bait?

Dump the long distance, and go with that one.

It's almost nearly impossible to "keep" any long distance relationship... with one of those you basically have to be cool with them dating other people and possibly more.


Edited by Panda Man - 10 March 2008 at 2:29pm

It sounds like the other girl has no interest in you at all. I would rather work on fixing things with your current gf than pursue a girl who sounds uninterested.

dont date anyone who isnt over their ex.  been there, done that, it doesnt work.

evillepaintball wrote: dont date anyone who isnt over their ex.  been there, done that, it doesnt work.

Smart man.

Find a new girl all together.
Your current relationship is long over if you already see yourself breaking up with the girl.

That girl thats still not over her ex who used her and left. She sounds retarded.

And long distance relationships are not all that bad. I've been in one for the last two years and its never had a low point. and 'balls' are not kept in her purse. If you both want it to work, it will. If you don't put effort into it you will just end up breaking up.

Definitely forget about the local girl who seems uninterested and isn't over her ex. Then maybe see if things can work out between you and your current girlfriend, but if things don't start improving quick, I'd forget about her too, and then just look for a new girl.

Maybe you should try dudes.

Panda Man wrote: It's almost nearly impossible to "keep" any long distance relationship... with one of those you basically have to be cool with them dating other people and possibly more.

Disagree. Depends on your maturity level, and that of the gf. If you are actually "serious", the distance is a non-issue. If you're just a couple of school-kids looking for make-out sessions, you're doomed to failure anyway.

.636 wrote: Your current relationship is long over if you already see yourself breaking up with the girl. If you don't put effort into it you will just end up breaking up.

Words of wisdom. If you already have doubt... you're already done. Decisions been made by your subconscious.
However, I'm one who's in the thought that relationships should be EFFORTLESS. I know a lot of people think that to maintain a relationship there's a lot of work involved. Maybe for the majority that's the case... for me, it never was. If I had to try at anything, or change my routine, or attempt to impress, etc... it wasn't worth my while. (Although, this is probably why I don't have a long list of women I've dated in the past)

and finally...

brihard wrote: I'm gonna go against the grain here in one regard- I'm in a very successful long distance relationship, we've been together for a year and a half now with no signs of trouble. That said, we share a similar enough personality, and we can make the most of the time we *do* have together instead of dwelling on the time we don't...If the distance relationship is going to hell, fix it *now* or finish things. They do not get better on their own. That said, end it before you get involved with anything else.

Brihard's in a good spot. Sounds like myself with my wife, back when we first started dating. That's the 'ideal' in my mind, and the relationship to strive for.

Heed his words... search yourself to figure out if the long-distance relationship is going to work or not. While you can't quite read your current GF's mind... you can at least search your own. Determine whether it's something you want to hold on to... and if you're "not sure", then count that as a "no".
IF you decide to pursue the local girl... break things off clean with the distant one.
And if you decide neither is the one for you at the moment... then take some time to gather your wits... then start the search for someone again.

Edited by ShortyBP - 10 March 2008 at 11:39pm

/bad advice