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Gentlemen, a word of caution: |
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tallen702
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Hipster before Hipster was cool... Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: Under Your Bed Status: Offline Points: 11857 |
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Topic: Gentlemen, a word of caution:Posted: 29 March 2010 at 2:35pm |
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Your wives/girlfriends/whatever will NOT understand why you insisted on purchasing a Finnish Model M61 NBC mask even after you explain to them how important it is to keep one around when living so close to the nation's capital, and thus, a target of any "dirty bomb" terrorists might be able to produce. Instead, they will act incredulous, make fun of you, and ask you why you are "so strange."
Apparently the appropriate response is NOT, I repeat NOT to answer "Well, I married YOU didn't I?" That is all. P.S. the M-61 is comfortable, has a good field of vision, and allows for some fantastic air flow and great speech ability due to the Nokia speech diaphragm. |
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<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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JohnnyHopper
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I.O.U. a punch Joined: 15 June 2002 Location: North Chuck SC Status: Offline Points: 4664 |
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 2:41pm |
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Would it also be bad to explain why you need 10 other masks to help rebuild the population?
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My shoes of peace have steel toes.
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tallen702
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Hipster before Hipster was cool... Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: Under Your Bed Status: Offline Points: 11857 |
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 2:45pm |
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I told her that I only got 1 because I figured she'd worry that it'd mess up her hair if I got one for her.
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oldpbnoob
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Not old, Not noob. May be Dave's grandma Joined: 04 February 2008 Location: Yankee Stadium Status: Offline Points: 5676 |
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 2:45pm |
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Hope your couch is comfy. |
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"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.
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NiQ-Toto
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 2:59pm |
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Should have told her it was for marijuana experimentation.
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///AMG What?
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Mack
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Has no impulse! control Joined: 13 January 2004 Location: 2nd Circle Status: Offline Points: 9906 |
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 3:15pm |
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As an expert in relationships my advice is to take advantage of the situation to say all the other humorous/wise-acre things you have been desiring to say since you said "I do." (After all, you're already in trouble; how much worse trouble could you really get in to?)
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Ceesman762
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 3:18pm |
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what is the life on the filters after you open the package?
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Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!! |
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slackerr26
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 3:21pm |
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so... have you showed her your new rifle yet?
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SSOK
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 3:32pm |
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I thought it was going to say "Gentlemen, if you are foolish enough to get married, hide any secret rifles you have inside the drywall".
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oldpbnoob
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Not old, Not noob. May be Dave's grandma Joined: 04 February 2008 Location: Yankee Stadium Status: Offline Points: 5676 |
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 3:33pm |
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So how many times have you practiced your "Luke, I am your father" voice?
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"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.
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choopie911
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 4:12pm |
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Tell her its an autoerotic asphyxiation tool.
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tallen702
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 4:31pm |
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<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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ThatGuitarGuy
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 5:12pm |
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I've got a spare bedroom or two at my house if you need one. Plenty of room in the gun lockers as well.
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Skillet: I've never been terribly fond of the look of a vagina
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usafpilot07
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 5:34pm |
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Once she started berating you for it, you should have just said, "See? this is why I only bought ONE." And then proceeded to walk away.
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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
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mbro
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 5:38pm |
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Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
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Gatyr
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 7:08pm |
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If you are going to say that, you may as well say "See? This is why I only bought one for me and one for your friend, <insert female friend here>!" |
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ShortyBP
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 9:34pm |
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There will come a time in your relationship... when she will simply shake her head, sigh, and go about her business.
She might start to say "Why...." but then will stop herself, and do the above. This will apply to NBC masks, as much as it will apply to a bottle of Potassium Iodide tablets, or the series of 5gal water cans and stack of 2L bottles refilled with water and some bleach you might keep in the basement and kitchen. She will also soon not notice how many rifles you have, nor will she care about the tubs of smokeless powder or the fact that the contents of your ammo fort of filled 50cal cans is starting to creep towards the six-figure count. When you show your rifles to a friend, she might glance over and ask "when did you get that?!" to which you shrug your shoulders, she rolls her eyes... and the line of questioning ends. At least... that is my experience.
You're both still new to this whole married thing. It'll come. (The making fun of you part might never cease, though) EDIT: And, you also have the good fortune to be able to use the line: "Well, I could be worse... I could be like Shorty!" Which might gain you some leeway whenever she thinks you've gone looney-tunes. Edited by ShortyBP - 29 March 2010 at 9:37pm |
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brihard
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 9:50pm |
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You don't really have to worry until your ammo cans form an actual structural component of your house.
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"Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation."
-FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
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ParielIsBack
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 10:26pm |
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At which point you have to be careful where you place the go-to cans. Pull the wrong one out and half your house is suddenly on your head.
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BU Engineering 2012
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tallen702
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Hipster before Hipster was cool... Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: Under Your Bed Status: Offline Points: 11857 |
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Posted: 29 March 2010 at 11:18pm |
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She already doesn't notice anything unless I pull it out in front of her. She was supposed to be at work today, but stayed home sick. I generally schedule things to come in on Mondays so that she doesn't get the opportunity to pry. Should have seen the look on her face when I said "If I hadn't opened it in front of you, you wouldn't have even noticed it, like the MRE's and Combat goggles that sit right next to the bath towels in the hall closet." She said "YOU HAVE MREs? WHY DO YOU HAVE MREs?" I rolled my eyes and told her that when the power goes out, or you can't get to the store, or there's some other sort of emergency, they come in handy. Oh, and I tried using the "hey, at least I'm not as bad as Shorty" defense, but she said it's null and void for defensive purposes since you own a house and we're in an apartment. |
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