Wedding Help

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   I would let them give what they want. If you really think they are putting themselves in the hole to give you this gift, then I would ask for less. Maybe if you keep costs down, you can give some back afterwards and say things came out cheaper than expected and you would feel better giving some back. But it's your mom, and if she is like mom, she will want you to have it and use it wisely for getting your new life started.

I think my wedding was under $10k, but we were lucky that my wife's parents were able to gift that in entirety to pay it off with extra to keep for ourselves. But they were also able to gift more than that later on and now we have a good savings in our joint account in case of emergencies. We definitely lucked out finding a good venue that had good catering and basically an in house wedding planner all for cheap. Also had a family friend DJ for us for cheap and paid an inexpensive photographer that had to be 10% of what a normal wedding photographer costs. The ceremony was also in a church which may or may not help with costs depending on the venue and time you want.