Family Guy Quotes
Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
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URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=133603
Printed Date: 14 July 2025 at 12:18am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.04 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Family Guy Quotes
Posted By: Zoso
Subject: Family Guy Quotes
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:17pm
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What are you favorite family guy quotes? Mine has to be: Loid: Peter do you even know which one of our kids im talking about Peter: Umm... Gordon ------------- All I see turns to brown As the sun burns the ground And my eyes fill with sand As I scan this wasted land Tryin to find where i've been |
Replies:
Posted By: Cedric
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:17pm
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Peter: I love Kiss. ------------- 
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Posted By: Zoso
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:18pm
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Haha you got a strike for flaming. Your a flamer.
If you cant beat'em, join em, eh? |
Posted By: xteam
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:32pm
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haha -------------  |
Zoso wrote:Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:33pm
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hehe TT is funny Peter: Lois, Say "Bruce Banner, I slit your tires" Lois: Bruce Banner, I slit your Tires [ripping shirt off=Peter]  [/ripping shirt off]Peter: hehe, i'm priceless ------------- Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo |
Posted By: oreomann33
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:36pm
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Christians dont belive in gravity.
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Posted By: Pariel
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:36pm
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Peter: There's got to be an explanation for this!
Brian: I've got an explanation: GOD IS PISSED! *Slap* *Slap* *Slap*
xteam-Why do you think this is funny? Grow up. Zoso-96 posts and already a strike? New record? |
Posted By: xteam
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:45pm
why dont you think its funny? _TT_ made a funny ------------- |
Posted By: Apu
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 5:55pm
 ------------- I need a new Sig... |
Posted By: brihard
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 6:07pm
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Chris: "Why did the dinosaurs die?" Chris's teacher: "Because you touch yourself at night." Lois's dad: "My God! That dog's violating Seabreeze!" Peter: "No he's not, he's just awkwardly positinioning- NOW he's violating seabreeze." Peter's dad: "That's concentrated evil comin' ou' tha back o' you!" ------------- "Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation." -FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
Posted By: Cedric
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 6:31pm
That wasn't Chris. That was peter when he was Younger. It wasn't Chris' teacher either. It was a man at the dinosaur museum. -------------
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Posted By: Ilovepaintball1
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 6:33pm
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Chris: "What are the blowholes for?" Peter: "I'll tell you what they're not for, and then you'll know why you can never go to seaworld anymore." I'm not sure thats the exact quote but I heard it in an episode and I nearly crapped my pants. ------------- 
Props to my Dogg BLAND |
Posted By: brihard
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 6:34pm
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My abd. Only seen the episode once. Either way, damn funny. Oh, another one: Judge: "You are sentenced to 24 months in prison." Family (in succession): "Oh no!" "Oh no!" "Oh no!" "Oh no!" Koolaid guy bursting through wall: "OOOHHH yeaaah!!!" ------------- "Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation." -FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
Posted By: Ilovepaintball1
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 6:36pm
Ha. I have that on my psp. http://www.toddandmelissa.net/downloads/Kool-Aid%20Man.mpg - Here -------------
Props to my Dogg BLAND |
Posted By: hoginds24
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 7:15pm
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Newscaster: And here's Ollie Williams with the blackie weather forcast, Ollie?
Ollie: ITS GON RAIN! Newscaster: Thanks Ollie. ------------- [IMG]http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/6924/willproducsv6.jpg"> |
Posted By: Ilovepaintball1
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 7:18pm
HAHA. Thats the best one ever. I remember hearing that. I laughed my ass off. -------------
Props to my Dogg BLAND |
Posted By: Kpoofs
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 7:52pm
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Peter: Oh my god Brian theres a message in my alphabits!! its says "oooooooooooo" Brian: Uhh peter, those are cheerios.... ------------- I Have a B2K and a 98c. |
Posted By: The Guy
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 7:54pm
------------- http://www.anomationanodizing.com - My Site 
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Posted By: For Honor
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 8:06pm
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Peter: It could be worse, you could be Ronald McDonalds daughter. [goes to scene with ronald sitting in chair reading paper, then his daughter walks towards the door with a bunch of make up on] Ronald: Damit, your a McDonald...not a whore. ------------- 
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Posted By: soonerdude05
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 8:09pm
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Mr. Pewterschmidt (sp?): "Peter I'll give you a million dollars to stay away from Lois" Peter: "Mr. Pewterschmidt, Lois may be worth a million dollars to you but to me she's worthless." ------------- 
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Posted By: marktippman98
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 8:20pm
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i got 2 heres one of the new episodes &nbs p; Peter: I think we all done some things were not proud of Flashes to wonder twins scene Terry: their a fire at the hospital Peter and Terry: Wonder Twin Powers activate Terry: form of a falcon, u coming peter? Peter: ya in a bit............ shape of terry's tampon.....now i play the waiting game man i swear that one is hilarious heres another one Lois: Peter we have bad communication Flashback to a sunset Lois: I love u peter Peter: about quarter past 6 LOL ------------- (In Game) ok guys watch out one at 21 dorito and back middle one, one just made a move for the snake shoot em are you their shoot him at the snake.....(big pause looks back) omg are you jokin 3v1 |
Posted By: You Wont See Me
Date Posted: 20 May 2005 at 8:41pm
96 posts is nothing. Many people get them within the first 10 or so because they are troll accounts or trying to sell a gun. ------------- A-5 E-Grip JCS Dual Trigger DOP X-CORE 8 stage x-chamber Lapco Bigshot 14" Beadblasted Optional setup: R/T Dead on Blade trigger |
Posted By: Frozen Balls
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 1:52pm
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Chris: I don't have to listen to you! You're a dog. You don't have a soul! Brian: Ouch... --- Peter: (Walks out of the bathroom and wanders into another room. He walks into the room and walks behind the bed. We find out that this is Chris' room.) Hey, you still awake, Lois honey? (Peter lays down into Chris' bed.) Chris: Dad? Peter: That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah...now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. My hands on your big soft boobs...running down your big man-like chest. (Peter jumps up.) Holy crap, It's Chris!! Uhh...Uhh...So, uhh...How ya doin'? You do all your homework? Chris: (nods his head.) Peter: Finish all your subjects? Chris: Yes, sir. Peter: Good, just uhh, just checkin'. (Backs towards the door.) Have a good night son. (Walks down the hall.) Peter: You still awake honey? Stewie: What the deuce? ------------- 
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Posted By: Sammy
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 2:13pm
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God: (Light's girls ciggarrete on fire)and bar cathes on fire
Girl: Ahhhhhh Jesus: (Rushes in bar) God: Get the Escalade, Let's go! I just found it funny. ------------- 
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Posted By: jaked588
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 2:15pm
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i got a couple that i can think of right now: #1- Peter: Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo.... wo... wo..wo... wo lois this is not my bat man cup #2- from the same episode Fish1: you know wut i hate, a man in a blue suit fish2: gasp fish1: theres one right behind me isnt there yea ive seen like every episode but cant think of anything besides the new one ------------- 
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Posted By: pb125
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 2:51pm
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Chris: Hey stewie want some of your birthday cake? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles, for every sprinke i find, i shall kill you! ------------- 
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Posted By: crazy_dave
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 7:22pm
[GOD:] aims his finger to light girls cig up, misses hits all the liquor says: JESUS CHRIST [JESUS] SAYS: YEAH, Dad?!? [GOD] SAYS: GET THE ESCALADE WE'RE OUTTA HERE! ! ! ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------- [PETER SAYS:]When have we ever had communication problems? --------------------------------*FLASHBACK*----------------- ---------------- [LOIS SAYS:] PETER I LOVE YOU [PETER:] (LOOKS AT WATCH)--Ehh, about quarter past 5  ------------- Real guns have gills. |
Posted By: shocker sucks
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 7:26pm
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------------- 
"Fifteen years old plus one Hotter than a microwave oven Mary, baby, daddy is comin' home" |
Posted By: Smitty
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 7:29pm
| Frickin' Sweet. |
Posted By: 98owner
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 7:36pm
darn thats the one i was gonna use ------------- if u watch blue collar tv 24-7 u might be a redneck. -Hell yeah thats me |
Posted By: xteam
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 7:41pm
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gigty gigty gigty - Quagmire ------------- |
Posted By: 98owner
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 7:51pm
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peter on stage drunk tellin jokes then puts beer in his pocket. The next day. Peter:i really had that crowed laughin last night Lois:no they were laughin because it looked like u peed ure pants Brian:peter u never had been good with tellin jokes. Peter:yes i have Goes to peter trapped in a net surrounded buy mokeys. Peter:ok how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to screw in a light bulb 1 dirty stinking ape. then i cant rember the rest but after he says the joke all the apes lift their guns and aimed them at peter ------------- if u watch blue collar tv 24-7 u might be a redneck. -Hell yeah thats me |
Posted By: pimptastik
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 8:27pm
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peter: lois u monday it was like doing it with a pillow Lois: peter i was my mothers at monday * flash back to monday night of peter under the covers saying come on lois move move! ------------- <no ginormous sigs please> |
Posted By: Hitman
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 8:43pm
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Sherry, cancel my 12 o'clock, I've got to hit more balls at this fat kid.
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Posted By: marktippman98
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 8:54pm
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peter says: 3!!!...1 dirty stickin ape to screw in the the light bulb and 2 dirty stickin apes to throw fesis at each other Apes: cock gun and aim lol ------------- (In Game) ok guys watch out one at 21 dorito and back middle one, one just made a move for the snake shoot em are you their shoot him at the snake.....(big pause looks back) omg are you jokin 3v1 |
Posted By: marktippman98
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 8:57pm
------------- (In Game) ok guys watch out one at 21 dorito and back middle one, one just made a move for the snake shoot em are you their shoot him at the snake.....(big pause looks back) omg are you jokin 3v1 |
Posted By: For Honor
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 8:58pm
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"I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth...you bastard." -------------
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Posted By: disturbed*rocks
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 9:36pm
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Peter walks into a book store and asks:
"Do you have any books on potty training?" Man: "Everbody Poops is still the standard..., but we've also got, Nobody Poops but You... Peter: "I'm Catholic so..." Man: "Oh, then you'll want: Your a Bad Child and Thats Concentrated Evil Coming out the back of you" But my favorite has got to be: The whole family is in the car. Peter's stomach growls Lois: What was that? Peter: You were right, I shouldn't have drank that prune smoothie: They continue driving. a truck pullis in front of them. On the back of the truck it says "WIDE LOAD" Peter: ahh... They drive past a sign that reads: SALE! ALL STOOLS MUST GO! Peter: AHH... They drive past a billboard that says: BOBS HOUSE OF FECES! Peter: AHHHoh come on that ones not even real! They drive past a casino sign that says: CRAPS!CRAPS!CRAPS! Peter: Aright I gotta pull over! ------------- Your gun chops balls. & nbsp; |
Posted By: Tolgak
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 10:33pm
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Clergyman: Pope... POPE!!! Pope: *moans* Clergyman: It's-a time to get up and put on your hat. Pope: eh.. It's a STUPID hat Clergyman: *crosses arms* Pope! Pope: *gets up* Alright, OK... god. *Pope walks through door and drops boxers on the floor* Clergyman: Pope, the floor is not a hamper. Pope: Maaaaan! *After getting hit off the balcony by the balloon, goes to Stewie and Brian* Pope: Yoou make-e de Pope-a look like a fool, God will make you pay. *Looks up and points at Brian and Stewie* SMITE THEM!!! *4 seconds later* He's-a cookin'-a sometin' up. ------------- 
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Posted By: WGP guy
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 10:41pm
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http://www.toddandmelissa.net/downloads/Kool-Aid%20Man.mpg - http://www.toddandmelissa.net/downloads/Kool-Aid%20Man.mpg |
Posted By: Ghost-Rider
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 10:45pm
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Brian : i have to sit at home with an idiot all day... Peter : hey look i made a water slide in the house (has hose on the stairs and jumps down ands falls a lot ouch n stuff) Brian : im not even gonna take you to the hospital .. you never learn your lesson... ------------- 
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Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 21 May 2005 at 11:12pm
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You guys suck at picking the funny quotes. Guy 1: Hey, you want a piece of gum? Guy 2: Oh, thanks. Guy 1: Ha ha! That was joke gum. Guy 2: What do you mean? Guy 1: Now you're addicted to heroin. [laughs] Guy 2: [laughs then shivers] I'm cold. or Lois: Ugh, sometimes you are such a child Peter: oh yeah? well if im a child, you konw what that makes you? A pedophile. And I'll be damned if im gonna be lectured by a pervert. or Police Dude - "And Chris, you're identity will be kept completely annonymous." Peter - (Walks in room with several criminals)"Have you guys seen my son Chris Griffin? He came to identify the bank robber... wait... I may have a picture of him here.. yeah, this is him... oh wait, he ruined this one by writing his school schedule and phone number on it... oh well, keep it anyway, I have like a million." Someone - Your name? Peter (trying to lie, looking around to make up name)....(sees a pea on a plate) pe.....(sees someone crying)tear.....(griffin flys across screen) griffin...... "We now return to the smurfs.." Smurf 1: "Hey, you have a good time last night?" Smurf 2: "Smurf-tacular" Smurf 1: "Yeah, I saw you leave with smurfette" Smurf 2: "Oh Man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfin' me" Smurf 1: "Shut the smurf up" Smurf 2: "Yeah!" Smurf 1: "Right in the smurfin parking lot?" Smurf 2: "Smurf-yeah" Smurf 1: "Oh, that is freakin' smurf" Smurf 2: "You smurf it" Smurf 1: "That is freakin smurf..." "remember, guns dont kill people, dangerous minorities do." ------------- 
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Posted By: Butz McWeenie
Date Posted: 22 May 2005 at 12:06am
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i used to have that in my sig p.s- it's ------------- what are they doin',why are they trying to publicly humiliate me like this...ooh shiney red ball! Peter Griffin |
funny.Posted By: Butz McWeenie
Date Posted: 22 May 2005 at 12:53am
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cop siren in background: peter pulls over cop: approches peter cop:sir this car is stolen. Peter: but this is my car. cop:(in radio)suspect is getting buligerant(sp) Peter:what? cop:(in radio)officer down(drops to ground) cop cars pull up & surround peter. or cop:why are you holding that infant's hand? Stuwie:oh, we met on the internet. Brian:shut up! and peter:geez...24 hours and not once do we see that guy use the bathroom. brian:you...you want to see him use the bathroom peter:maybe. or this (Lois comes in through door) maybe this Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made out of? Brian: So, what kind of a name is Weed? Vacuum repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake. want more?...........go to http://www.familyguyquotes.com/ - http://www.familyguyquotes.com/ ahhhh.......you know what i haventhad in a while...big league chew I LOVE FAMILY GUY!
------------- what are they doin',why are they trying to publicly humiliate me like this...ooh shiney red ball! Peter Griffin |
Posted By: marktippman98
Date Posted: 22 May 2005 at 9:43pm
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ya family guy is amazing here some more of my favorites Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard. Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ... Peter (drunk and naked at a wine tasting): Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me a hundred dollars if I took off all my clothes off. Peter: I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time. Jayna: "...form of--Hawk! Come on, Peter!" Matt Damon: Ah there. Finished. Good Will Hunting by Matt Damon. (Peter looks around and sees the KKK following him and Cleveland.) well thats all i got for now ------------- (In Game) ok guys watch out one at 21 dorito and back middle one, one just made a move for the snake shoot em are you their shoot him at the snake.....(big pause looks back) omg are you jokin 3v1 |
Posted By: Apu
Date Posted: 22 May 2005 at 10:18pm
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You guys really assed up a lot of the quotes.
------------- I need a new Sig... |
Posted By: Koolit32
Date Posted: 22 May 2005 at 10:27pm
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Adam West has to be the best character ever. Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language? Adam West: I love this job more than I love taffy ... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy. Doctor: Mayor West, you have Lymphoma. Adam West: Oh My. Doctor: Probably from rolling around in that Toxic waste. What in God's name were you trying to prove? Adam West: I was trying to gain super powers. Doctor: Well that's just silly. Adam West: Silly yes ... Idiotic ... yes. Adam West: MY GOD! Someones stealing my water! Meg: But it just went down the drain. Adam West: The hit when you least expect it. (Waters plant) Adam West: SHOW YOURSELVES COWARDS! I've spent thousands of dollars of the tax payers money trying to find these thieves and I'll spend one million if thats what it takes! Meg: You know, I think I have my story. Adam West: NO! WAIT! You can't print that! Thank god shes just a figment of my imagination. |
Posted By: Zoso
Date Posted: 22 May 2005 at 11:49pm
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hey even I thought it was funny
------------- All I see turns to brown As the sun burns the ground And my eyes fill with sand As I scan this wasted land Tryin to find where i've been |
Posted By: Ilovepaintball1
Date Posted: 23 May 2005 at 1:03am
You're a little late buddy. -------------
Props to my Dogg BLAND |
Posted By: Radix
Date Posted: 23 May 2005 at 1:32am
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Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts. Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ... Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: It's a beautiful baby girl! Lois: Peter, what did you promise me?
Lois: You're drunk again. Chris: So .. ah .. what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that. |
Posted By: white thoughts
Date Posted: 30 May 2005 at 9:02pm
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The one episode when stewie has to live with another family with kids of ever race. (peter comes through the chimney) Stewie: oh look its santa. (sarcasticaly (sp)) African kid: no thats not santa, santa is black. Indian kid: no santa can't be black because we do not fear him.
The episode when people from new york come to see the foilage (changing of color of leaves) New york person 1: hey look at that red one &nb sp; &nb sp; &nb sp; New york person 2: hey look, thats the color of the people i don't pick up in my cab. (points to brown leaf) |
Posted By: borntopaint
Date Posted: 30 May 2005 at 9:09pm
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Stewie: So that's what Peter's Penis looks like.
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"I normally refrain from conversation during gestation." |
Posted By: lester98c
Date Posted: 30 May 2005 at 9:35pm
i know i messed that up royaly |
Posted By: Puma45
Date Posted: 30 May 2005 at 9:41pm
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Peter: I named it Petoria. I wanted Peterland but that was already taken by
that bar by the airport. Sorry about that. |
Posted By: lester98c
Date Posted: 30 May 2005 at 10:25pm
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that reminds me lois i need to do a breast check...ut oh a lump oh wait no its just a cheeto holy crap this is hot.............lois we gotta go..........het lois im starvin how about a sandwhich |
Posted By: vonfeldt7
Date Posted: 01 June 2005 at 12:15am
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Setting:peter and chris are taking showers after a game of basketball Peter:chris whats that on you leg?.....OMG THATS NOT YOUR LEG!! next morning Lois:chris, drink your milk, it will make you grow up big and strong peter:NO! no more milk for you chris! (peter starts gulping down the milk out of the bottle, and half of it is going on the floor) ------------- http://www.freewebs.com/paintball_things - novice paintball help (If you own a tippy and your new to paintball, this site may help) Jesus is my friend DO NOT say"sniper"here! |