By MIKE FOSTER

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!

Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.

But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official."

yeah i serriously doubt that but heres something that accually happened not too long ago, maybe only a week or so ago

Cassini radar shows dramatic shoreline on Titan
NASA/JPL NEWS RELEASE
Posted: September 16, 2005

Images returned during Cassini's recent flyby of Titan show captivating evidence of what appears to be a large shoreline cutting across the smoggy moon's southern hemisphere. Hints that this area was once wet, or currently has liquid present, are evident.

Radar image of Titan showing that the boundary of the bright (rough) region and the dark (smooth) region appears to be a shoreline. Credit: NASA/JPL Download larger image version http://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/jpegMod/PIA03563_modest.jpg - here

The images show what looks like a shoreline dividing a distinct bright and dark region roughly 1,700 kilometers long by 170 kilometers wide (1,060 by 106 miles). Directly to the right of a bright and possibly rough area is one that is very dark and smooth.

"This is the area where liquid or a wet surface has most likely been present, now or in the recent past, said Wall. "Titan probably has episodic periods of rainfall or massive seepages of liquid from the ground."

The brightness patterns in the dark area indicate that it may once have been flooded with liquid that may now have partially receded. Bay-like features also lead scientists to speculate that the bright-dark boundary is most likely a shoreline.

"We also see a network of channels that run across the bright terrain, indicating that fluids, probably liquid hydrocarbons, have flowed across this region," said Dr. Ellen Stofan, Cassini associate radar team member from Proxemy Research, Laytonsville, Md.

Taken together with the two other radar passes in October 2004 and February 2005, these very high resolution images have identified at least two distinct types of drainage and channel formation on Titan. Some channels in images from this pass are long and deep, with angular patterns and few tributaries, suggesting that fluids flow over great distances. By contrast, others show channels that form a denser network that might indicate rainfall.

This bright terrain is cut by channels that are variable in width; they form both radial and branching networks. Such patterns are reminiscent of networks formed by rainfall on Earth. Credit: NASA/JPL Download larger image version http://photojournal.jpl.nasa.gov/jpegMod/PIA03565_modest.jpg - here

Titan has an environment somewhat similar to that of Earth before biological activity forever altered the composition of Earth's atmosphere. The major difference on Titan, however, is the absence of liquid water, and Titan's very low temperature. With a thick, nitrogen-rich atmosphere, Titan was until recently presumed to hold large seas or oceans of liquid methane. Cassini has been in orbit around Saturn for a year and has found no evidence for these large seas.

Cassini encountered an anomaly with one of two solid-state recorders during the Sept. 7 close flyby, resulting in some data not being recorded. Half of the data from the flyby was received, much to the delight of anxious scientists. The spacecraft team is troubleshooting the cause, and early indications point to a software problem that would be correctable with no long-term impacts.

This was Cassini's eighth out of 45 Titan flybys planned in the nominal four-year tour. The next radar pass will be Oct. 26 when the team will focus on the Huygens probe landing site close to the equator.

The Cassini-Huygens mission is a cooperative project of NASA, the European Space Agency and the Italian Space Agency. JPL, a division of the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, manages the Cassini-Huygens mission for NASA¹s Science Mission Directorate, Washington. The Cassini orbiter was designed, developed and assembled at JPL. The radar instrument team is based at JPL, working with team members from the United States and several European countries.

I'm quivering with fear...