I need help cheating on a test
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Topic: I need help cheating on a test
Posted By: ShortyBP
Subject: I need help cheating on a test
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 9:23am
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That's right. I am enlisting the help of all the evil geniuses (and google addicts) on ways to cheat on a test.
The test: Cholesterol. That's right. I need to cheat on my cholesterol test. On 24 Dec, I have a physical as required for my application for life insurance. In order to qualify for a lower rate, I need to get my numbers down a bit. I have adjusted my eating habits, am taking fish oil capsules, eating whole wheat, peanut butter, and have upgraded from no-exercise to dismal-amount-of-exercise. Small means of improving the numbers, but probably not enough before my deadline. So... I call upon you to help me cheat. Is there a way? Will extending the fasting period before the bloodwork (typically 12hrs) do any good? Will a strict diet of bran (blegh!) and water for a couple days prior to the test do any good, or cause harm? Aside from garlic and fish oil supplements, is there anything else that can be taken? And aside from overall reduction... what will any of the above do to impact my HDL (good) to LDL (bad) ratios, with the goal of increasing HDL and decreasing LDL? Long term... I need to get the numbers down anyway, so some permanent lifestyle changes will be taking place. But in the short-term, I need to get my total cholesterol down by 40pts and my triglycerides down just a smidgen, in about a week and a half. Help a brudda out! |
Replies:
Posted By: Goiduck
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 9:35am
| Run/bike to Subway every time you are hungry. I see everyone else doing it. None of them seem overweight, so it must be working. You only have ten days, so lock up all the food you have in your house immediately and try my method of self-reduction. |
Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 9:59am
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Answer all C and you will be fine.
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Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 10:01am
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Baked or broiled chicken or turkey is supposed to be helpful. So is fish. Not fried fish though.
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Posted By: cadet_sergeant
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 11:45am
| I would not advise peanut butter, its full of fatty acids. all together it sounds like you have a good diet, you just got started late. i would suggest maybe a mutivatamin, you'll need a lot of C and maybe green tea. |
Posted By: Tae Kwon Do
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 12:39pm
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From now till the testing, replace 2 meals a day with a bowl of this stuff. ------------- 
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Posted By: Cedric
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 12:55pm
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If I may quote road rash 64, "Cheaters never prosper." ------------- 
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Posted By: Zesty
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 2:42pm
People automatically thinbk fats=bad, but it's not true. Trans and saturated fats are bad, but mono- and polyunsaturated fats have been proven to actual help burn fat and are just plain good for your health. But yeah avoid regular PB, that stuff is whack. Also, how much fish oil are you taking daily? Do you take a multi-vitamin? How are your meals typically? |
cadet_sergeant wrote:Posted By: Zesty
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 2:53pm
| http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=8033848#post8033848 - I posted a thread for you at a more useful site |
Posted By: Ghostslinger
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 5:13pm
you're a mod... i thought u were an official who wouldnt condone cheating well i forgot all my stuff so no clue------------- 98 custom R/T 16 in. J&J ceramic SystemX N2 system 3000psi If I had a paintball for every time I got called pale even though I'm one step above untannable... well I guess I could play the PSP |
Posted By: Zesty
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 6:07pm
| Just because I care so much: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=649732 - My advice is to listen to smart people who know about their bodies |
Posted By: youm0nt
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 6:30pm
| cheerios!good luck cause lowering wont happen overnight. |
Posted By: TruePaintballer
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 7:33pm
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10 days isn't a long time... Pray! ------------- http://www.freewebs.com/outlawspaintball/index.htm - Outlaws *Sponsors* http://www.abrika.ca - Abrika |
Posted By: ShortyBP
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 7:34pm
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Thanks guys.
To answer some follow ups, mostly from Zesty: Peanut Butter: natural stuff. Requires mixing and refridgeration... but worth it. Exactly right on the monounsaturated fats, etc... they actually are a benefit. Fish Oil: 1200mg softgels. Once or twice daily after a "meal". Broken down further, the EPA is 216mg per, and DHA is 144mg per. I take two smaller multivitamins twice daily. I prefer this to taking one big one... where I end up pissing away most of it before it's absorbed. And it probably has no effect, but add a dose of benefiber in at one point during the day. Meals have changed in the past two weeks. As of two weeks ago, my breakfast (if I eat breakfast) is a bowl of shredded wheat with skim milk. Snacks to keep me conscious during the day are pretzels. Lunch is 1-2 PB&J on whole wheat. Liquid thruout the day is water. Dinner is 1-2 tuna on whole wheat, or 2 bowls of shredded wheat. While running errands with the Mrs, I have strayed and gone to Wendys, twice... chicken sandwich plain, baked potato and diet cola. As of this morning, the lunch has been replaced with a bowl of oatmeal. And as of tomorrow morning, it will be oatmeal for breakfast and lunch. A little background history... my last bloodwork was this past April. My total chol count was 270. BUT... at the time I was eating those beer-battered fish chunks and cheese-fries Hungry-Man meals every day for lunch. Those things are chol in a box (but they were damn good!). Since then, I haven't followed the diet mentioned above... but I haven't been eating nearly as badly. I'm hoping the numbers went down some between April and Nov. What I'm trying (probably in vain) to do now, is purge thru total sacrifice in order to try and get my number down by 11am on 24 Dec. I don't plan on sticking with a wheat and tuna only diet from there on out... I'll improve compared to what I was doing before... but the real push isn't so much for total lifestyle change as much as it is an attempt to lock in a lower annual rate for $300K coverage for the next decade. So if I die, my wife can pay off the mortgage and the next guy gets a free house. hehe. Zesty... thanks for the inquiry on the bodybuilding forum. Just read up on that. Very good to know, and I'll be following a lot of the advice given there. But you were wrong about one thing. You said that I looked pretty out of shape. I am VERY out of shape! I'm at my heaviest, but not quite "fat" yet. 160lbs at 65", but more than my weight... I'm just aerobically in piss-poor condition. Taking an office job did one bad thing for me... made my life even more sedentary. I'm trying to improve that though. As for "cheaters never prosper"... as far as my quality of life goes, that is absolutely correct. But in the meantime, I will try and beat that saying in regards to my annual premiums. 
Then I'll have to play the honest way to get me in better shape. When BigAl can run circles around you at a 24hr scenario game... you know you gotta change something! |
Posted By: oreomann33
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 7:37pm
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Double quarter pounder with cheese, I swear it works.
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Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 7:40pm
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are they unsalted pretzels? that's all i could think of...
------------- Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo |
Posted By: merc
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 7:49pm
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DONT TUCH SHRIMP!!! i made the mistake of splitting a 100 count shrimp ring with my gf 2 days before my physical...18 years old and they wanted to put me on a diet... ------------- saving the world, one warship at a time. |
Posted By: Snipa69
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 7:53pm
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Medically speaking, it is very difficult to cheat on a cholesterol test. It's about as effective as cheating a breathalizer test. The way I see it, you have 10 days to run, jump, swim, and eat your way to lower levels. Depending on how much you need your rates to go down, fasting for 14 hours may or may not help. ------------- http://imageshack.us - [IMG - http://img456.imageshack.us/img456/857/sig9ac6cs1mj.jpg - |
Posted By: PlentifulBalls
Date Posted: 14 December 2005 at 10:22pm
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haha, you are gonna die soon.
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sporx wrote: well...ya i prolly will be a virgin till i'm at least 30. |
Posted By: ShortyBP
Date Posted: 15 December 2005 at 6:30am
Snipa... I knew from the get-go it was pretty much useless. One doesn't cleanse out their bloodstream in such a short amount of time... but... wanted to see if there was stuff I didn't already know that would help some. |
Posted By: Zesty
Date Posted: 15 December 2005 at 2:58pm
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hehe, sorry for joking on you, I had to get a little shot in there! Just so you know I'm still a weiner.
But yeah, you look to actually be eating pretty good. Try and eat as much oats as possible, the fiber is actually a good idea, I personally would up your fish oil capsule intake(I take 6-7 daily)....take you fish oil caps and multi-vitamins with fatty meals, they will absorb much better. I personally would also try and get some saturated fats! It may sound weird, but the diet you listed is pretty void of them, and that's not good. The multi I take is a 2-a-day, but I only take one, in the morning with fats, and I honestly pee bright yellow for a solid day after....it's extremely potent. I have been around 5 or 6 very sick people already this year anhd haven't gotten sick yet, I really think it's because of the high-quality multi I'm taking....I normally would be sick! |
Posted By: Zesty
Date Posted: 15 December 2005 at 3:02pm
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http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/now/adam.html - NOW Adam, the multi I take I take the same brand of fish oil pills, NOW Foods, they are well respected and safe and affordable....the FDA does not inspect or approve supplements! You need to go with a trusted brand.
I think I pay like $7 for 200 fish oil gels and about $17 for 120 multi tabs. |
Posted By: ShortyBP
Date Posted: 15 December 2005 at 8:08pm
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Thanks man. No worries, nothing you said wasn't truthful. :) hehe
My diet is temporary. I assure you I would normally eat otherwise. Not quite as bad as some, but nothing I would consider an overly "healthy" diet. I do plan on improving it from here on out, starting by cutting out a lot of my beloved beef, replacing it with more chicken breast... which is easily done. So long as I can eat MEAT, I'm happy. The day I am forced to give up meat entirely and eat vegan meat-replacement crap is the day I take out my CZ and give myself a 124gr JHP lobotomy. But in the short-term, resorting to the more drastic (and plain) diet. At least for the next few days. I need to look into a better multi-vit. I'll keep your recommendation in mind. Right now, the multi-vits I have are probably not near the quality I should be taking. I also need to exercise more. I have a stationary bike, which barely gets touched. I have a nice Weider home gym... but it's completely diassembled. I need to complete my basement before I can put it to some use, and at the rate that job is taking me... I'll be moving again before it gets put back together. Always something. |
Posted By: Zesty
Date Posted: 16 December 2005 at 2:36pm
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Yes, I know how it is trying to get into shape, and I actually have you youth and genetics on my side! Still pretty hard when you're working full time.
I don't work out at all, but I still feel a lot healthier just taking my multi and fish oils. They are essential and everyone should take them IMHO. I totally understand about the meat issue! Don't worry! Just don't make it a habit to eat a ribeye a week and you'll be good....just try and mix in fish and chicken as much as possible. I completely see where you're coming from, at least you're honest about everything unlike most people who just make a bunch of excuses....accountability is the first step on the way to permanent change. I don't know if you've been keeping up with the other thread, but another poster gave some good advice, which is a product called "Sesamin". It is made from sesame seeds, totally natural, but people are raving about it being an awesome fat-burner and cholesterol reducer, along with having some really good reports of it being beneficial for your skin compexion. Anyways I have heard enough people raving about it that it's worth a shot. Definitely get a quality multi vitamin. Cheapest and most important supp IMHO. I swear for $5/month I'm not getting sick this year! *crosses fingers* |
Posted By: Cheetos3254
Date Posted: 16 December 2005 at 6:06pm
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Posted By: PistolPete
Date Posted: 17 December 2005 at 9:43pm
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NOOOOOOOO don't give up the beef!!!!!!! ------------- PistolPete OMHW |
Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 17 December 2005 at 10:43pm
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hmmmm... I may need to get in touch with her, we have some things to discuss. ------------- Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo |
