Smart Ass Answers
Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
Forum Description: Got something you need to say?
URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=164225
Printed Date: 01 January 2026 at 9:41am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.04 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Smart Ass Answers
Posted By: .Ryan
Subject: Smart Ass Answers
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 10:24pm
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>>THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006 >> >>SMART ASS ANSWER #6 >> >> It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. >> "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in >>front. >>"What are my choices?" John asked. >>"Yes or no," she replied. >> >>SMART ASS ANSWER #5 >> >> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. >>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened >>his trench coat and flashed her. >>Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your >>stub." >> >>SMART ASS ANSWER #4 >> >> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but >>she couldn't find one big enough for her family. >> She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" >> The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." >> >>SMART ASS ANSWER #3 >> >> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding >>rolled down his window. >>"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. >>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." >> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way >>without a ticket. >> >>SMART ASS ANSWER #2 >> >>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that >>reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." >>Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck >>under the bridge. >>Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. >>The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands >>on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" >>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of >>gas." >> >> >> >> >>SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 >> >> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. >> >>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. >>I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or >>a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses >>whatsoever!" >> >>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What >>would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter >>sexual exhaustion?" >> >>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. >>When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, >>shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the >>exam with your other hand." Sorry for the FWD, they made me lol though... -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: ANARCHY_SCOUT
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 10:27pm
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#2 is a Bill Engval joke.
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Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 10:30pm
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heh... i was in a car with a friend who used the "i got here as fast as I could" line. He's a criminal justice student and knew the sheriff that pulled him over. twas great. |
Posted By: You Wont See Me
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:09pm
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Last one made me laugh.
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Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:21pm
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FWD:FWD:FWD:
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Posted By: Hella Cool
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:25pm
| Last one is the only good one. |
Posted By: .Ryan
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:34pm
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Scout: Yeah, I noticed that, still funny though... HV: I already acknowledged that and apologized. So I lose 0 Internetz and you lose at least 1/2 for posting that anyway. Boo ya. But yeah, I can't decide if I like number 3 or number 1 better. Of course, these are all 100x funnier if they actually happened.... ------------- |
Posted By: DarkSideEchoes
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:36pm
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My dad asked me once "What the hell is wrong with you?!?!" I answered "Bad genes." Mistake. ------------- 
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Posted By: *Stealth*
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:37pm
You can't dictate your own ratio of internetz loss/win. You lose -5 internetz for thinking you can. |
.Ryan wrote:Posted By: .Ryan
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:39pm
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Posted By: Da Hui
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:54pm
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Hah I loved #1. ------------- 
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Posted By: kickinwing2010
Date Posted: 05 February 2007 at 11:59pm
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Posted By: Tae Kwon Do
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:00am
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Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:02am
Exactly, luser does not determine how much they lose, or how much others lose. I win two for whale quoting my fwd's. -------------
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Posted By: pb125
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:06am
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Lawl the last one was on Bash one time. Stupid liars. ------------- 
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Posted By: Shub
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:26am
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My grandfather has been telling the tale of the "I got here as fast as I could" for years now.
Still, a few seconds of entertainment. |
Posted By: Roll Tide
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:33am
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I giggled at all of them.
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Posted By: *Stealth*
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:33am
I was going to award you 2 internetz, but you went and did the same thing .ryan did by awarding yourself internetz. Now my tubes are clogged. Jerk. |
Posted By: Shub
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:42am
Good luck finding a store that is open this time of night that sells internetz drano... |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 12:45am
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Note: Luser can't award internetz, winrar may.
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Posted By: .Ryan
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 1:14am
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I call shens on that HV....But to hell with all of it, the Revolution will be here soon...tubes be damned.
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Posted By: Langside
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 6:13am
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One of they ones where you need to be there. |
Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 06 February 2007 at 7:13am
False. Epic winrar may, not normal winrar. ------------- 
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