Paper Writing, the MBro way.
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Topic: Paper Writing, the MBro way.
Posted By: mbro
Subject: Paper Writing, the MBro way.
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:41pm
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How to write a research paper.
Step One: Put off til the last minute. Step Two: Buy gatorade and energy drinks Step Three: Make a Sandwich Step Four: Grap MP3 player and head to the library Step five: Browse internet for half an hour (currently on step five) Step six: Turn on Raidohead becaues a paper cannot be written without Ok Computer going in the background Step seven: Type your key terms into the library catolog and then browse the aisles most of the books are in and grab anything mildly interesting. Step eight: Make sure you have more books than you'll ever need for a 15 page paper so you'll look like a dufus walking around with a pile of books nobody could ever read in a month Step eight point five: Make an outline. Outlines are key. Step nin: look at any and every girl that walks by and wonder if you have a chance Step ten: Wish you were on adderal Step eleven: Get within two pages of your desired length before you start playing with fonts and margins, change to a fix spaced font, add 1.5' top margins, if not at the right length do a find and replace of all periods with a size 2 points larger. Step twelve: Rejoice, go home, sleep for 20 minutes before you have to be up for class. Step thirteen: Proof read your paper between classes, make any changes. /sigh EDIT: added step 8.5 ------------- 
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Replies:
Posted By: GI JOES SON
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:45pm
| same EXACT problem RIGHT now. do you remember how to do the period trick? making it bigger? i cant remember how to do it |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:47pm
Also don't forget to not use contractions. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
GI JOES SON wrote:Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:50pm
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The new citation maker in word 07 is pretty sweet, it creates your bib page for you, no more PITA formatting errors. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: T RAV29
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:51pm
wow nice advice  lol
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Posted By: Mehs
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:53pm
So true, that and easybib.com ------------- [IMG]http://i27.tinypic.com/1538fbc.jpg"> Squeeze Box ☣ |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:55pm
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Also don't double space or play with fonts until the very end. It helps you avoid a mental wall you hit when you get near your goal.
Also, charts, graphs, and tables are your friends. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:57pm
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My school library has no books on the Kyoto Protocol.... The damn thing came out in 97.... What do I pay for?
Looks like I'm using online references. I'm also thinking about starting an ask mbro thread, probably wouldn't be the wisest thing during finals time. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: Mehs
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 7:59pm
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mbro, here: http://books.google.com/books?q=Kyoto+Protocol&btnG=Search+Books - http://books.google.com/books?q=Kyoto+Protocol&btnG=Sear ch+Books
------------- [IMG]http://i27.tinypic.com/1538fbc.jpg"> Squeeze Box ☣ |
Posted By: GI JOES SON
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:01pm
| unfortunately graphs and charts aren't feasable in this one...its on the rosetta stone and np graphics are authorized |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:02pm
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Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: Mehs
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:06pm
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Good part about google books is you can search for specific parts of a book iirc.
------------- [IMG]http://i27.tinypic.com/1538fbc.jpg"> Squeeze Box ☣ |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:21pm
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Thankfully I'm making this a persuasive paper that involves the Kyoto Protocol and the Nuclear Non-Poliferation treaty. I get to spend a lot of page space giving background on each of them and objections to them and refuting objections before I even get to make my reasoning arguments.
Basically I propose that the us can use the NPT to overcome objections to the Kyoto protocol by assisting NPT countries in using nuclear power instead of coal. It opens a new market for american business and would increase the US in global standing and give us a stake in developing countries around the world that we would otherwise have poorer relations with. Anyone want to point out more counter points to my opinion? I'm working the whole nuclear iran issue pretty good as well as terrorism. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: Tolgak
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:49pm
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The Tolga method. Step 1: Put off 'til last minute. Step 2: Write conclusion. Step 3: Write rest of paper. Use current knowledge of subject, BS the unknown aspects. Step 4: Find sources. Step 5: Create citations. Step 6: Refer to 8 different citation web pages, because the MLA doesn't provide citation info on their site, and most other sites give conflicting answers. Step 7: Integrate sources into paper. Step 8: Remove any previously written information that is wrong due to sources. Step 9: Format, double space, font. Step 10: Print. Step 11: Arrive in class. Step 12: Find out that formatting is APA. Step 13: Turn paper in. Step 14: ????? Step 15: Receive B ------------- 
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Posted By: Rambino
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:53pm
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Amazingly, this method works for contract drafting as well. ------------- [IMG]http://i38.tinypic.com/aag8s8.jpg"> |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 8:56pm
I'm sure yours also involves skittles. Rambs, any thoughts on objections to the US helping non nuclear countries obtaining nuclear power other than terrorism and crazy dictators being irrational? EDIT: explaining international agreements sure can take up some room on a page. The one good part about being a legal studies major is it's not hard to meet lenght requirements. The bad part is the amount of papers, the length of them and the all essay tests that cause your hand to fall off writing twelve+ pages by hand in 50 minutes. Those tests sure require an in depth knowledge unlike multiple choice tests that require simple fact memorizing. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: notXXscared
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 9:02pm
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The notXXscared method. Step 1: Put off 'til last minute. Step 2: Go on aim, facebook, ect, and listen to everyone complain about said paper Step 3: Ask everyone in my class what they are doing paper on Step 4: Pick a topic, write straight through for the next few hours until complete Step 5: Half ass sources Step 6: Half ass citations Step 7: Some how fit sources/citations somewhere in my paper Step 8: Remove any previously written information that is wrong due to sources. Step 9: Squeeze margins if necesary Step 10: Up comma/period size no matter what Step 11: Print Step 12: Eat pasta, go to bed Step 13: Arrive to school, share complaints with everyone in class throughout day Step 14: Hand in paper Step 15: Receive B after being corrected, listen to the teacher lecture about how much everyone's papers sucked. Step 16: Watch her fill 2 chalkboards and an overhead page with everything we collectively did wrong on our papers (60+ comments) Step 17: Listen to teacher make comparisons to our papers, ie: " your papers were like masturbation, an unorganized explosion all over the place" ------------- 
Previously DYE PLAYA |
Posted By: Rambino
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 9:10pm
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Nightwish/Evanescence, usually. As to judging women in the office, that would be sexual harassment, so I clearly don't do any of that. None. None at all.
Wild Berry.
Other than security/terrorism concerns, I would think nuclear power for all would be a great idea. That would go a long way towards breaking OPEC's hold on the world, thereby allowing us to care less about the Middle East, thereby allowing them to care less about us, thereby resulting in less terrorism, greater "energy independence", and a boon to the US economy (and French, Japanese, Russian, and so forth), as well as a new energy world order favoring those countries with nuclear fuel mines (US and RSA, among others). The only other concern would be that nuclear energy is not for rookies. Any country that can't keep their planes from falling out of the sky may have a hard time keeping their nuclear plants from leaking. I guess that could be partially addressed by conditioning the sharing of technology (and fuel supply) upon maintaining certain safety standards, and perhaps even requiring that the plants be operated by US companies. Of course, that could lead to concerns about US involvement/presence, which could lead to more terrorism... oops. ------------- [IMG]http://i38.tinypic.com/aag8s8.jpg"> |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 9:18pm
I was going to cite some realists/classic IR liberal IR, IPE books to attempt to counter US companies creating terrorist backlash basically saying giving them stuff will make them love us (not that it ever totally could). We'd deffinatly have to make it appear as though their government has a say in the agreements, which they really wouldn't. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: pb125
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 9:33pm
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pb125's method: step 1: ------------- 
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Posted By: Hairball!!!
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 9:41pm
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Tom method:
Put it off until last minute, complain as much as possible Read material of paper for far too long Stare at blank word processor for way too long Start writing Hit mental wall, delay for at least a half hour, more likely an hour Keep writing Get even more bitter Pound out utter crap BS bibliography Hopefully sleep, if there's enough time I finished my first research paper at 2:30am, and the second research paper at 6:30am |
Posted By: sinisterNorth
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 9:45pm
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I turned in a research paper on Friday but my methodology isn't similar to yours at all. Oh well, to each his own.
------------- Pumpker'd; (V.) When a pump player runs up and shoots you at point blank range because you thought 20bps made you good. |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 10:21pm
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Why do groups of people insist of coming to the designated quiet study zone that has signs posted every ten feet saying no groups and no talking? There are two groups of girls sitting at a table near me just gabbing and giggleing about boys. The guy next to me is talking on a cell phone. I hate people. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: jmac3
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 10:39pm
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Kill them.
------------- Que pasa? 
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Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 11:14pm
!!! I usually feel like kicking someone in the shin when that happens where I study. If you don't know them or care about looking stupid start saying mean things that are obviously lies. Or simply tell them to go somewhere else and talk about guys unless they want to talk about you. And from what I was able to gather for my Model Arab League project, it seemed like France was in good standing with a few of the middle-eastern states, and that Sarkozi even offered to oversee the whole nuclear energy thing for one country or another. ------------- 
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Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 05 May 2008 at 11:30pm
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I was working on a paper with a guy from my class once and a girl kept talking on her phone in the lab (in the library). The entire lab was obviously annoyed so he pulled out his cell phone and pretended to have a very loud conversation with himself about how annoying it is when people talk on phones in the library.
She left pretty quickly. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 12:11am
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I just went to get another book on International Relations and ran into a the section on political campaigning. I was distracted for some time.
I've been thinking about working on a campaign for state assembly this summer. -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 12:51am
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my way is to choose a major that involves no paper writing what so ever. although lab write ups are going to be my enemy next semester. |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 2:23am
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Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: Snipa69
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 3:25am
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you guys have way too many steps in writing papers. I put it off like everyone else and then skip strait to BS and then bibliography. Whenever I do this, I seem to get no less than a B. My last girlfriend though said that things just apparently came easier for me in scholastics and I just called her stupid...not a very fulfilling relationship. I usually add a pizza or a bowl of ramen in to the equation at some point though. ------------- http://imageshack.us - [IMG - http://img456.imageshack.us/img456/857/sig9ac6cs1mj.jpg - |
Posted By: Snake6.
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 10:49am
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Papers are one of the reasons why I am reluctent to go to college. ------------- 
http://paintballchat.org - Paintball Chat I'm at work, Leave me alone!!! |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 10:53am
It gets easier. But if you somehow just can't make it to the required length there's always the ways I pointed out on the first page to increase your length. EDIT: Why doesn't IE7 have built in spell check like firefox or every part of linux desktops? -------------
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: PaiNTbALLfReNzY
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 10:58am
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Posted By: Snake6.
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 11:02am
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Because IE is retarded. I am in the same situation right now too so don't feel bad. Work doesn't approve any browser other than IE. Also if I went to college I don't think I would be able to control my drinking. I could never pass up a cold beer. -------------
http://paintballchat.org - Paintball Chat I'm at work, Leave me alone!!! |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 11:09am
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Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos. |
Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 11:22am
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My method was a little more direct. 1. Wait until last minute (same beginning process) 2. Eliminate library steps, write paper from head (BS) 3. Check amazon.com and google for books pertaining to the subject. 4. Cite books never looked at. 5. Scroll back through paper and randomly insert footnotes and tie them to said amazon books. Hand in. ------------- ? |
Posted By: jmac3
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 11:49am
Sounds like mine. ------------- Que pasa?
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Posted By: Skillet42565
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 11:55am
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Posted By: Snake6.
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 12:22pm
I can't get away with that. All excutables are checked and blocked by the network, otherwise I would in a heatbeat. -------------
http://paintballchat.org - Paintball Chat I'm at work, Leave me alone!!! |
Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 06 May 2008 at 12:33pm
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Wow. I can't stand last-minute pressure situations so I try to start
papers early. (Last semester I bailed on a group project and did my
own because the rest of the group wouldn't get started.) The end
result is that I usually have my papers done a few days early then set
back with a beer and taunt my peers. (Like I'm doing now.) 
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