Why planning a wedding sucks:
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Topic: Why planning a wedding sucks:
Posted By: tallen702
Subject: Why planning a wedding sucks:
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 3:50pm
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It's when you start crunching the actual numbers that you realize no matter where you get married, no matter which reception venue you choose, they all cost the same.
I'm serious. Don't believe me? Erin and I looked at 3 sites this past weekend. We started with Wintergreen Resort in Nellysford, VA. Then went over to Hot Springs, VA to check out The Homestead and finally dropped down to Lexington, VA to check out the House Mountain Inn. Now, the Wintergreen package is around 80/person and includes a 4-hour bar and wine-service package. Their ball-room rental is $3,000 for the event and there is a small ceremony site fee. Gratuity is 19% and the local and state taxes come out to about 9% when all is said and done. The total on food and bev ALONE is $15360.00 when all is said and done, add in the $3270 for the reception ballroom rental and you wind up with $18630.00 as the total. That doesn't even include the ceremony, flowers, decorations, transportation, rooms, tuxedo, wedding dress, rings, etc etc etc. For The Homestead, the least-expensive food package starts at $80/person for a 4 course meal, Including hors d'ouevres it comes out to about $89/person and that excludes bar and wine service. However, the ballroom rental fee is waived due to my awesomeness (I know people) and the Crystal Ballroom at The Homestead is a sight to behold. We're talking Rockefeller quality if you catch my drift. At 150 people, we're talking $13350.00 baseline for food (no bev) including tax and gratuity, we're talking $16020.00 (it's a lower tax and grat rate there) add in the bar and the costs go up about another 2-3G's. Putting the whole shebang right about the same level as Wintergreen. Now, if you've never been to The Homestead, click this http://www.thehomestead.com - link and stare in awe. Place was built in 1766. Washington and Jefferson stayed there for christ's sake. So, after hashing out all of that, Erin and I had our fingers crossed and hoped for the best with the final site, House Mountain Inn. It's a modern-rustic inn with 9 guest rooms, a cabin, and a really rustic and intimate feel. They can do up to 150 guests for a seated dinner and their menu looks nice. However, they only serve alcohol on a per-consumption basis and that gets expensive. We'd also have to rent out the entire inn ($4400) over a two-night period to be allowed that many people. In addition, they charge a $9/person room rental fee for their "ballroom" on top of their food and beverage fees which means that you are, again, renting out the space for around $1350. Their per-person food cost and bar estimate comes out to $65/person and their tax and gratuity are figured in at the higher level again. That means we'd be paying $15500.00 just for the site and the food and bev. Add in taxes/grat and you hit $19840.00 which includes lodging for the wedding party and breakfast each day. Basically, any way you slice it, it's gonna be uber expensive no matter where we go. Everyone has fees that creep up on you. The easiest to calculate was the Homestead. They spell it out plain and simple (I guess they've had 242 years to hash it all out though). Regardless, it's just frustrating and depressing. I need a drink..... ------------- <Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.> |
Replies:
Posted By: PaiNTbALLfReNzY
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 3:52pm
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In before Tec 9
I'm crashing your wedding, btw  .
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Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 3:54pm
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lolmarriage
-------------  irc.esper.net #paintball |
Posted By: Zata
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 3:56pm
| Yeah, my friend is like 23, knocked up his girlfriend and now they're finally getting married...in court. Then they're having a backyard party/dinner and that'll be the wedding, they can't really afford anything else. |
Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:13pm
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I was there last year.....and if you haven't already got them, keep an eye out for gray hairs that will start to appear throughout the various stages of the planning process. The best feeling in the world will not be "Holy crap, we're married!" but "Holy crap, its OVER!" ------------- ? |
Posted By: GI JOES SON
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:13pm
| heres an idea, its out there so bear with it...what if you called in a favor of some of your coworkers to do the cooking and stuff? |
Posted By: Rambino
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:17pm
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If you can survive the wedding, marriage is no problem... ------------- [IMG]http://i38.tinypic.com/aag8s8.jpg"> |
Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:18pm
Bolded portion QFT. ------------- 
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Reb Cpl wrote:Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 5:04pm
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Tallen,
Don't invite cheap relatives or friends who can't cover the price of their plate. My wife and I got ROYALLY SCREWED by my cheap ass relatives. By the time we were done opening the envelopes, we paid for the DJ and the Photographer/videographer. These same cheap ass people wil be the ones who embarrass you at the reception and then complain about the reception. CHOOSE WISELY! ------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: tallen702
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 10:30am
Well, I don't have any cheap relatives, so that would help. The tough part for Erin was going to be cutting down her guest list. At least, she thought it would be. Turns out her mom had put a bunch of people on her guest list that she (Erin) doesn't even know. I'll give you two guesses as to who she started slashing from the list.... 
I think I'm going to have to cut out the second-cousins. Mind you, my family is very close and very large on my dad's side, so that's what makes it difficult. ------------- <Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.> |
Posted By: reifidom
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 10:42am
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Three years ago when I got married we spent about 4k on the wedding and reception together. The food was pretty decent and the reception hall was awesome. Around 200 people in an old stage theater (seats removed long ago) with a great dj, and everybody was up dancing, even the people who hated dancing, like me.
The people we know still say it's the best reception they've ever been to. A really great time was had by all, and with an open bar to boot. After that we stayed in a bed and breakfast and the day after that we left for Hawaii. The Hilton resort there was incredible. It looked like a Corona commercial and we got to swim with open sea sea turtles. ------------- 
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Posted By: Snake6
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 12:07pm
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I better be invited. If I'm home that is.
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Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 12:14pm
Actually, my wife and I did rather well on our pricing and everything too. We had our reception on a local golf course, the very first place we checked out. The price for the reception escapes me now, but it included a cake, reception hall with open bar, the whole kaboodle. They even recommended a DJ service who gave customers of this place a discount, they had some deal or another.....we did really well and came in something like 2K under budget. ------------- ? |
Posted By: Pariel
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 12:29pm
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Well, my sister's wedding came out at around $40,000 (April 2nd of this year), so I'd say you're gettin' lucky.
By far the best wedding I've ever been to though. If there's anything I can say from being involved in it, I'd say focus on what would make the day for you and your bride. Money's a limiter, but honestly, it's your day to be selfish. If you try to cater to everyone else, you'll just get yourself screwed. |
Posted By: unvolution
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 12:33pm
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tell everyone they need to buy tickets to come to it... but on a more serious note pariel is right |
Posted By: Pariel
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 1:13pm
I'll be outside the door scalping tickets come wedding day.
Pure genius. |
Posted By: SSOK
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 1:26pm
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The forum can help out. Slrsy, 1. Skillet can take pictures. He can even enslave someone else to help. 2. Someone can DJ. Seriously, DJs mostly play music you pick. Anyone can do that. 3. Utilitze (holy sp?) DT's homebrewing crap. 4. Drivers. Food you're SOL on, though. ------------- 
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Posted By: FlimFlam
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 1:35pm
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Ahh yes, the wedding planning. Wait until Bridezilla shows up about 4 months out... ------------- 
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Posted By: carl_the_sniper
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 1:50pm
Not really. Tallen is going to be there anyways. ------------- <just say no to unnecessarily sexualized sigs> |
Posted By: Heres To You
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 2:37pm
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Did anyone else not realize weddings were so expensive? And Tallen, if you don't mind me asking, anything wrong with a church? I know I'm from the south but that's like every girl's dream (in the south) to be married in a huge church and everything... ------------- |
Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 2:47pm
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umm... the places he's listing are for the reception.... the ceremony might be held there, but i'm guessing it's mostly just for the reception. and yeah, weddings are expensive. My brother's is coming up and I'm pretty excited though. |
Posted By: Pariel
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 2:49pm
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The church is generally cheap/free, or am I wrong? You just pay for flowers/decorations/monkeys.
Tallen, you should just cook for your own wedding, that would be fun. 
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Posted By: tallen702
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 3:20pm
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As far as getting married goes, it'll happen at the same site as the reception. That fee doesn't add much onto the bill and you'd wind up "donating" to the church or minister that does the officiating.
As far as our budget is concerned. We have a combined $40k to spend, but that includes rehearsal dinner, tux, and honeymoon money from my parents. So really, I figure we have about $34k to spend. There's about a snowball's chance in hell that Erin will get married in a church without a fight. She was raised Italian-Roman Catholic and saw that church's hypocrisy from a very early age. As such, she's very anti-organized religion. As for me, there's about a snowball's chance in hell I'd let a R/C priest marry us. When it comes to that, I've got my own minister I'm going to have for us. Presbyterian 4 life fools!!!! ------------- <Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.> |
Posted By: evillepaintball
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 3:24pm
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^^ sounds like a smart woman. congrats ------------- 
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Posted By: Pariel
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 4:23pm
Where's the honeymoon taking you? Props for Presbyterianism. |