Help with a friend.
Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
Forum Description: Got something you need to say?
URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=184029
Printed Date: 25 April 2026 at 5:12am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.04 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Help with a friend.
Posted By: ammolord
Subject: Help with a friend.
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:06pm
|
So, I have a buddy, and iv known him for about 5 years now. Lately, hes been alittle deperessed, but when i got a new girlfriend 2 weeks ago, I thought he'd get better. I was wrong. I was just talking to him, and he sent me this: dude i new it didnt go away i new it was going to come back i said to my self give it about a week and what do u kno it came back im falling apart im tired of *messing* up im tired of doing something wrong i always *mess* up or do something to get some1 *annoyed* im tired of it just tired and i want it to stop the doctors arent putting me on anything or doing anything and t dont understand what im going thru no1 does and t never will this depression is eating me alive soon its going to hav its way soon im not going to b able to stop it soon life will b gone all bc i *messed* up if i just had 1 wish it wouldnt b for money cars it would b for this depression to stop just stop and never come back i dont want to die but if this dont get better its going to hapen and yes dont u dare tell me thats not the ryt thing to do or thats stupid u dont kno what im going thru and yes i kno u had depression but u didnt feel the way i do now no1 does dont tell me u do bc i kno u dont no1 does i could tell u how i feel but its just to hard to say and trust me iv tryed and it didnt work no1 understands thay say t do but t really dont im so scared ryt now my life is getting worse each and every day with this depression i keep losing pplz i kno im losing my self What should I do? I had slight depression a while ago, but it has since past. I have no idea how to help him, at all. ------------- PSN Tag: AmmoLord XBL: xXAmmoLordXx ~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~ |
Replies:
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:10pm
|
Be empathetic. If you can convince him, try to get him into counseling. Most ppl will resist, but I suffered from depression and an anxiety dissorder for years, and figuring yourself out is 1,000,000,000,000,etc,000x more effective than any meds. ------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: brihard
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:17pm
|
He needs to talk to someone who really understands this stuff. ------------- "Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation." -FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
Posted By: slackerr26
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:19pm
|
you live in a very depressing place
------------- 
|
Posted By: ammolord
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:19pm
You have no idea. ------------- PSN Tag: AmmoLord XBL: xXAmmoLordXx ~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~ |
slackerr26 wrote:Posted By: slackerr26
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:38pm
|
im starting to get one based on your threads as of late!
-------------
|
Posted By: rednekk98
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:56pm
| Get him in the gym if the doctors wont give him anything. |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 21 December 2009 at 11:59pm
|
So what happened to your knocked up gf?
------------- 
|
Posted By: tippmannfreak
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:22am
|
oooo the army has answers for you! but in all seriousness. Ask, Care, Escort. Come right out and ask if he's considering hurting himself, sound like he already is. Care, basically what the others are saying, be empathetic, actively listen. Escort, refer him to the proper professionals, or vica versa.
no matter how douchey it sounds, if it's life and death, you're better out looking like a douche than being the guy that could have stopped it. i had a friend kill himself a couple months ago. he didn't show signs. This guy clearly is. |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:29am
|
I forgot to inquire, why are you always coming to us for social advice?
-------------
|
Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:34am
Regardless of what the doctors do, have him get to the gym anyway. It's amazing what exercise can do for a person's psyche. If nothing else, go running with him. Sunlight will be all the more benefit to him. ------------- 
|
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:49am
|
Way to be HV.
Some of us consider this group here on the forum to be friends. Friends who we can usually count on when we need help, or just to blow off steam. ------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: brihard
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:50am
This. ------------- "Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation." -FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
Posted By: Gator Taco
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:54am
|
What exactly is wrong with his life that has him so depressed? Is it an actual circumstance or is it all mental? I agree with the others, get him into a gym. Physical exercise will do wonders. Perhaps he has too much down time, people seem to get depressed when they have nothing going on. ------------- http://www.last.fm/user/trailgator01 - last.fm |
Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:05am
|
The man above speaks sense. I'm currently unemployed and every so often get a bit pissy because I'm not doing anything. The best advice I think is just to get him out doing anything. Going for a drive and a chat, going out drinking, The exercise sounds good too. Try and get him to meet new people if you can. just mix it up and keep his mind off things
|
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:34am
------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:35am
------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:37am
Way to be overly sensitive. I get the feeling he has no sensible, down to earth friends IRL to discuss this with. Or maybe he wishes not to discuss these matters with his other friends in order to keep them private. Maybe his friends are too close to the action and he needs a couple views from about 10,000 feet above ground level. This is why I asked a question about it. Calm down, Nancy. You don't have to go all white knight in every thread. -------------
|
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:45am
------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:53am
|
May want to change your sig then, you obviously don't understand what it stands for. And you want my input? Go get your friend some professional help. Also, I think you're spending too much time trying to fix broken people. Same goes for you, sneaky. Yes, it is extremely cynical of me to say that, but I've learned through experience that when you keep trying to heal the wounded animals you'll most likely drag yourself down in the process. I'm not saying avoid them at all costs, but sometimes they will get through just fine without you interfering. -------------
|
Posted By: jerseypaint
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 2:01am
|
Tell his parents. Sounds really childish but its the best thing to do. ------------- 
|
Posted By: ¤ Råp¡Ð F¡rè ¤
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 3:14am
Definitely. Also, like others said, get him out of the house. Introduce him into another group of friends, take him out somewhere, go play baseball or basketball in the park, whatever. ------------- 
|
Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 8:46am
|
keep him occupied, as others have stated the gym is a good place to distract him. Get hi to talk to a therapist. it will do him wonders...
------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 9:43am
|
He needs help with his spelling too.
-------------  irc.esper.net #paintball |
Posted By: Mehs
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:34pm
|
Hookers and blow.
------------- [IMG]http://i27.tinypic.com/1538fbc.jpg"> Squeeze Box ☣ |
Posted By: Tical3.0
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:37pm
------------- I ♣ hippies. |
Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 12:44pm
| maybe if he discovered punctuation he would cheer up. |
Posted By: sinisterNorth
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 1:45pm
|
I won't lie, I lol'd at the previous 4 posts. But in all seriousness, depression is a really serious matter that requires professional help. Has he seen a psychiatrist? Some cognitive-behavioral therapy might be the trick plus medication if it really is uncontrollable. That's not to say you intervening won't help, because it probably will. You need to try to get him out and involved in other things to get his mind off of whatever may be causing the depression. Talk to him and explain how you overcame depression as it may help him to hear other perspectives. ------------- Pumpker'd; (V.) When a pump player runs up and shoots you at point blank range because you thought 20bps made you good. |
Posted By: Darur
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 3:59pm
|
That sounds like a pretty loud cry for help. As has been posted several times in this thread, he needs professional help. Who's he been seeing if it wasn't a therapist? ------------- Real Men play Tuba [IMG]http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/1859/newsmall6xz.jpg"> PH33R TEH 1337 Dwarf! http://www.tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/log_off_user.asp" rel="nofollow - DONT CLICK ME!!1 |
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 4:56pm
------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 5:08pm
|
And that's the part you haven't realized yet, caring too much. Get this kid professional help, like it hasn't already been said multiple times, and alert his parents.
-------------
|
Posted By: mod98commando
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 6:33pm
Lazy forumers: skip to TL;DR at bottom Not long ago I was pretty seriously depressed. I'm generally a very strong person, mentally but even I was starting to come apart earlier in the year. I had no job, no money, wasn't doing so great in school, and it seemed like everything I did was an epic failure. I did manage to get a girlfriend but obviously being broke makes it hard to take her out and whatnot and it was making her really unhappy that I could never take her out and I basically seemed like a futureless shmuck. As you'd expect, she made me pay for that and it added to my misery. I was also stressed about some family stuff which I won't go into. My point here is that I felt like pure crap 24/7 and I wasn't suicidal but I did feel like I had nothing to live for and like I was eternally screwed. It was an awful feeling and it was always there so I know exactly what that kid was saying in that horrendously written message. So, what do you do in this situation? Change your tampon, man-up, and do whatever you have to in order to fix things even if it seems like you couldn't possibly turn things around. Rather than completely give up on life I decided to go balls to the wall and do anything and everything to fix my problems. So, my cumulative GPA after 4 years was like 2.4 and with no prior job experience, GPA is what employers use to judge my applications and therefore fixing this could fix two of my problems. I had two more semesters to complete in order to get my degree (this semester being one of them) and I had to take summer classes so I decided that I'm getting a 4.0 until I graduate and retaking some classes that I got D's or C's in. This would boost my cumulative GPA as much as possible before graduation. It's an extremely ambitious goal but it had to be done so I just told myself that's the goal and there is no other option. My job hunt was a near-epic fail as it only landed me one interview and an unpaid internship which pretty much turned out to be a joke so I decided to do an application shotgun and take whatever I could get. This would at least get me an income until I get something good, thus fixing my brokeness. I fired the shotgun and by September I managed to get a job at Pathmark which sucked but did generate a paycheck. All I did was set goals for myself and used the same mentality I had when I used to work out regularly. Basically, when you're trying to push yourself at the gym, you have to keep yourself motivated even if that simply means repeating something in your head like "just one more" or "i can do this". If you keep thinking that you won't be able to get that one last rep, you end up defeating yourself. The same applies to other things. You have to convince yourself, at least on some level, that you know you'll succeed and just don't think about failing. I did that while sending out applications and going on interviews and I got the job at Pathmark in September to hold me over. That got me some money to get by while going on more interviews, one of which landed me a job that I start next Monday. I applied this mentality to school as well and got a 4.0 over the summer and just got a 4.0 this semester as well, bringing my cumulative GPA up to a 2.6-2.7. If I do that again next semester, I'll be around a 3.0 which is acceptable. I also managed to get a handful of certificates for some extra stuff I did at school and I'm going to another school for training to get A+, Network+, and MCDST certifications. AND I found out that I took enough computer science classes to minor in it. At this point, I consider the last few months a major comeback for me and things are likely to get much much better too. TL;DR: Crying about your problems gets you nowhere and usually just makes you feel worse.
------------- oreomann33: Everybody invades Poland Rofl_Mao: And everyone eats turkey Me: But only if they're hungary Mack: Yeah but hungary people go russian through their food and end up with greece on everyth |
Posted By: TheSpookyKids87
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 9:34pm
|
If your friend is in high school there is always the school psychologist he can request to see. If he is in college, many of them (if not all) offer free counseling services to students. I recommend those options.
Or if he is not in school at all, there are other options out there such as hot lines to help and such. Though I am not aware of any of these and have no personal contact with any of them or their credentials. |
Posted By: Linus
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 11:02pm
Can someone explain that rational? Just talk to him. Let him know things wont stay that crappy, and things will get better. you just have to power through it, and how everyone goes through that point in their life. Take some time out of your week and just hang out with him. Make him remember that he does have a friend / friends. ------------- 
|
Posted By: slackerr26
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 11:51pm
lolwut -------------
|
Posted By: Tical3.0
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 7:23am
------------- I ♣ hippies. |
Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 8:59am
Swingers. ------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: Flurry
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 9:17am
|
Try to get him to go see the shrink. If a person really wants to hurt himself... He will. Meds are not always the answer. As has been said in here already, he needs advanced help that you can't offer...unless u share the g/f jk. Or you could try to get him outta Minot. If he is going to college or will be soon, try to get him outta town. Problems tend to follow you around if you never leave town. Just be carefull around him. If he has guns or knives around, he might just decide to take you with him. Or he might make you watch. "Yes, this happens." All in all, Try to take care of him 2nd...Take care of yourself first. ------------- It sucks being antisocial alone. |
Posted By: God
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 1:58pm
| My guess is that his lack of punctuation skills is what is depressing him. |
Posted By: Langside
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 3:31pm
|
baleeted. |
Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 3:41pm
|
^^^in B4 the lock
------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: Tical3.0
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 3:41pm
|
Bahhahhaha Niiiice. ------------- I ♣ hippies. |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:17pm
|
Classic.
-------------
|
Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:19pm
|
HV, how many times have you seen that on 4chan?
------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: Langside
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:23pm
Over 9000 probably, I'm not sure.
|
Posted By: sinisterNorth
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:25pm
------------- Pumpker'd; (V.) When a pump player runs up and shoots you at point blank range because you thought 20bps made you good. |
Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:27pm
LOL!!!! ------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:31pm
|
Snap. But seriously, it probably has been over 9000 times by now.
-------------
|
Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:32pm
closer to 9,000,000 ------------- Innocence proves nothing FUAC!!!!! |
Posted By: Langside
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 4:38pm
|
But seriously... If this is true, the only advice I can give you and your friend is: Learn how to spell, and also your friend is probably is a failure...
|
Posted By: Rofl_Mao
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 6:07pm
|
Also professional help costs about $300 a visit, or at least thats what it was for my dad when he had depression. Or maybe it was $100.... or $40 crap i forgot but I know it wasn't cheap. |
Posted By: brihard
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 6:13pm
|
Oh snap. I haven't seen a good banning in a while now. I don't even know who Langside is. On the actual subject, not everyone is capable of simply bringing themselves through a depressive episode or period. Some people fight depression for years. Some will come through it on their own or with a bit of help, but if professional resources are available, avail of them. There are many very smart highly trained people whose job it is to diagnose and treat things like this. It's not a sign of weakness to need psychological help to overcome a serious problem. The human brain is incredibly complex, and sometimes the causes or solutions to problems are not easily arrived at. ------------- "Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation." -FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 7:19pm
------------- "I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl Forum Vice President RIP T&O Forum |
Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 7:33pm
|
Hell, I went to the shrink for the first time yesterday. Also, LULZ. ------------- irc.esper.net #paintball |
Posted By: jmac3
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 10:30pm
|
Going to a shrink? That is for women.
------------- Que pasa? 
|