Thoughts and Opinions - Forum President Acceptance Speech

Print Page | Close Window

Forum President Acceptance Speech

Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
Forum Description: Got something you need to say?
URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=185793
Printed Date: 08 March 2026 at 5:16am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.04 - http://www.webwizforums.com

Topic: Forum President Acceptance Speech

Posted By: Mack
Subject: Forum President Acceptance Speech
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 12:23pm

Friends, forumers and fellow interneters.

Thank you for your confidence in electing me as Forum President. As I know you are all amazingly busy people with important stuff to do* I will keep this fairly short.

In my capacity as Forum President I humbly vow to serve the best interests of the forum in every way possible. With that in mind I have decided to take inspiration from the great leaders of the past and present. To this end I will list these inspirational people and their specific traits I will be emulating.

I promise to lead in the following manner.

With the honesty of Nixon
The fidelity of Kennedy
The sobriety of Grant
The decisiveness of Carter
The morality of Clinton
The compassion of Cheney
The wisdom of Quayle
The communications skills of Biden
And finally, the consensus building talents of George W. Bush

That is all;

Thank you.

Edited Addition: I will be taking suggestions for cabinet posts and nominees for those posts at this time. So far the only cabinet posts I have in mind are minister of making fun of other forums, official forum newb greeter and master judge of political discussions.

*Which is why we are all on here.

-------------

Replies:

Posted By: Yomillio
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 12:34pm

I would like to apply as the Minister of the Forceful Compliance Cult - er, I mean, Secret Service.

-------------

http://www.tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=172327 - Forum XBL Gamertag Collection

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 12:35pm

^^^Do you have a problem with abusing my enemies/detractors/random people for my personal amusement?

-------------

Posted By: Yomillio
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 12:48pm

No sir. Thats what I'm here for.

-------------

http://www.tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=172327 - Forum XBL Gamertag Collection

Posted By: SSOK
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 1:15pm

I am willing to accept any positions I am nominated for.

Mr. President, when do we begin voting people off of the forum? We all have a few individuals in mind.

-------------

Posted By: Hairball!!!
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 1:16pm

tl;dr

What's a good barrel for my 98c?

Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 1:37pm

I hereby nominate tallen for position of 'zombie defense coordinator'

-------------
?

Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 1:39pm

Reb Cpl wrote:

I hereby nominate tallen for position of 'zombie defense coordinator'

Seconded. Shorty needs to be Advisor to the Department of Zombie Defense.

-------------

irc.esper.net
#paintball

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 3:10pm

I want to head the Department of Forum Marksmanship or be the Forum Hit Man.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: choopie911
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 3:24pm

I'm submitting my application for the position of Forum Ambassador to Canada. I have 22 years of experience in the country, and the longest post record on the forum.

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 3:36pm

Mack,
I changed my mind, I want a command position in the Tippmann Militia. Platoon commander will be fine.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: stratoaxe
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 3:36pm

Call me if you need someone to clean the interns dresses...I have experience.

Also, you'll now need to prove that you are in fact:

Not a Hawaiian Muslim.

A real black person.

And hands off my gun.

Also, war with Canada would be great.

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:31pm

Yomillio wrote:

No sir. Thats what I'm here for.

You're hired.

SSOK wrote:

Mr. President, when do we begin voting people off of the forum? We all have a few individuals in mind.

We won't. (If we did that; who would we taunt/pick on?)

Benjichang wrote:

Reb Cpl wrote:

I hereby nominate tallen for position of 'zombie defense coordinator'

Seconded. Shorty needs to be Advisor to the Department of Zombie Defense.

Consider it done. (As long as we redefine zombie to include anyone who mindlessly spouts political rhetoric from the left/right and supports it by linking to obviously biased sources.)

Ceesman762 wrote:

I want to head the Department of Forum Marksmanship or be the Forum Hit Man.

You are now the official Tippmann Forum Minister of Marksmanship. The job description includes enlightening potential paintball snipers as to the error of their ways.

choopie911 wrote:

I'm submitting my application for the position of Forum Ambassador to Canada. I have 22 years of experience in the country, and the longest post record on the forum.

While you are obviously highly qualified, given your background as a Canadian the voters would be unsure of where your loyalties lie. Additionally, I was really looking for a secessionist to fill that position. You may be the Ambassador to PB Nation instead.

Ceesman762 wrote:

Mack,
I changed my mind, I want a command position in the Tippmann Militia. Platoon commander will be fine.

Practicing my Carter decisiveness I have decided that you can do both. Consider the Minister of Marksmanship as an additional duty in addition to commanding the Tippmann Militia. Your first duty as FMTM (Field Martial, Tippmann Militia) is to form it. (Try to design some decent uniforms.)

stratoaxe wrote:

Call me if you need someone to clean the interns dresses...I have experience.

I have to figure out who to call to get an intern first.

Also, you'll now need to prove that you are in fact:

Not a Hawaiian Muslim.

The pertinent personal records are open for viewing at http://www.whatwereyouthinkingtryingtofollowthislink.haha - this link.

A real black person.

Not a claim that it can be proved I have ever made.

And hands off my gun.

I was thinking of instituting mandatory forum gun ownership. (And possibly mandatory duels for my own personal amusement.)

Also, war with Canada would be great.

I agree; which explains the qualifications I am looking for in an Ambassador to that country.

-------------

Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:36pm

I would like to be Secretary of Forum and Minister of Choosing One Member at a time to follow and abuse for 1-2 week periods for a personal characteristic or attribute.(Feel free to come up with a new name for that second one. Minister of COMAATTFAAF12WPFAPCOA just doesn't roll off the tongue.)

-------------
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:38pm

usafpilot07 wrote:

I would like to be Secretary of Forum and Minister of Choosing One Member at a time to follow and abuse for 1-2 week periods for a personal characteristic or attribute.(Feel free to come up with a new name for that second one. Minister of COMAATTFAAF12WPFAPCOA just doesn't roll off the tongue.)

You can be Secretary of Forum. Consider the second request to be part of the job description under the additional duty title of "Chooser of Random Forum Whipping Boys."

-------------

Posted By: Eville
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:41pm

This is what happens when we try to rush a vote through. We don't have time to do proper background checks. What is you experience as a warmonger?

-------------

Posted By: Eville
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:42pm

Also, I nominate Whale for the Press Secretary.

-------------

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:44pm

Eville wrote:

This is what happens when we try to rush a vote through. We don't have time to do proper background checks. What is you experience as a warmonger?

I believe we should not only declare war on every opponent we can easily demolish but we should taunt them afterwards with stuff like "yoooouuuu don't haaaave an arrrmmmmyyy, becaaaauuuse we traaaaashed it" once we are done.

Furthermore I think we should secretly instigate conflicts between small nations that aren't worth our time and sell the news footage on pay-per-view.

Wow, now I need someone to set up the second part. Want a job?

Eville wrote:

Also, I nominate Whale for the Press Secretary.

I was actually thinking of FE for this position but Whale is a qualified candidate.

-------------

Posted By: Eville
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 5:52pm

Mack wrote:

Eville wrote:

This is what happens when we try to rush a vote through. We don't have time to do proper background checks. What is you experience as a warmonger?

I would be honored to lend my expertise to the good of the people.

-------------

Posted By: Magoo
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 6:03pm

Ooooh! Ooooh! Can I be that one guy!? PUH-LEEEEZE!

Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 6:32pm

I sir, have no real experience in anything that could be useful. Therefor, I believe I am qualified to be Vice President.

-------------
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl

Forum Vice President

RIP T&O Forum

Posted By: Tolgak
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 6:38pm

I'd like to be Commander of the Tippmann Air Force, head distribution agent of pro-ministry literature and history, and coordinator of festivities for Wacky Tacky Tie Day.

-------------

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 7:23pm

Eville wrote:

Mack wrote:

Eville wrote:

This is what happens when we try to rush a vote through. We don't have time to do proper background checks. What is you experience as a warmonger?

I would be honored to lend my expertise to the good of the people.

The job is yours.

Magoo wrote:

Ooooh! Ooooh! Can I be that one guy!? PUH-LEEEEZE!

I'm sorry, Eville asked first. You can be "Head Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go BOOM!" if you want.

__sneaky__ wrote:

I sir, have no real experience in anything that could be useful. Therefor, I believe I am qualified to be Vice President.

I think you communicate way to clearly for the job and and probably disqualified yourself by being voted "most improved." However, I will give you a chance Mr VP. I do expect you to live up to your forum Nom de Plume in all aspects of your political career.

Tolgak wrote:

I'd like to be Commander of the Tippmann Air Force, head distribution agent of pro-ministry literature and history, and coordinator of festivities for Wacky Tacky Tie Day.

Sky Marshall Tolgak it is. Consider the other duties as an integral part of the job and get me a cool presidential ride.

-------------

Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 7:43pm

Hells yes!

-------------
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl

Forum Vice President

RIP T&O Forum

Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 7:49pm

I nominate Scotchy for forum drunk and Johnny Hopper for Court Jester. I'll throw my hat in for forum VP since I add little to the forums and often times have no clue what I am talking about. I also say things that are totally inappropriate on many occassions. I'll do my best to make you facepalm often for making me your second in command.

-------------
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.

Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 8:29pm

Tolgak wrote:

head distribution agent of pro-ministry literature and history,

As a Turk, he'd be exceptionally qualified for this.

-------------
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Posted By: Eville
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 9:18pm

usafpilot07 wrote:

Tolgak wrote:

head distribution agent of pro-ministry literature and history,

As a Turk, he'd be exceptionally qualified for this.

OH SNAP!

-------------

Posted By: ParielIsBack
Date Posted: 03 June 2010 at 10:05pm

I'm trying to consider my marketable skills.

For irony's sake, we could make me the Presidential Chef (we'll all die in a week). Alternatively, I can be the token black guy.

-------------
BU Engineering 2012

Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 1:13am

oldpbnoob wrote:

I nominate Scotchy for forum drunk

I challenge this nomination. I may not speak in strange slang but I will give scotchy a run for his money any day.

-------------

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:50am

oldpbnoob wrote:

I'll throw my hat in for forum VP since I add little to the forums and often times have no clue what I am talking about. I also say things that are totally inappropriate on many occassions. I'll do my best to make you facepalm often for making me your second in command.

While this is an outstanding resume' the position has, unfortunately, been filled. However, I am still looking for a chief of immigration and the job is yours as long as you have no qualms about enforcing a strict "no mimes" policy.

ParielIsBack wrote:

I'm trying to consider my marketable skills.

This is government; marketable skills are not required.

For irony's sake, we could make me the Presidential Chef (we'll all die in a week).

I prefer not to die within the week; I have magazine subscriptions that would go to waste if that happened.

Alternatively, I can be the token black guy.

We don't need one of those. However, I am looking for a token "future target of fratricide" and hear you are qualified.

mbro wrote:

oldpbnoob wrote:

I nominate Scotchy for forum drunk

I challenge this nomination. I may not speak in strange slang but I will give scotchy a run for his money any day.

I do believe a drink-off is called for. The minister of instigation needs to take care of setting it up.

-------------

Posted By: StormyKnight
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 3:19am

SSOK wrote:

I am willing to accept any positions I am nominated for.

Mr. President, if it pleases the court, I'd like to nominate SSOK for 'doggystyle'. As far as rumor goes, he is eminently qualified. If it turns out he isn't, it will be a splendid opportunity for him to learn, if it pleases the court.

I would also like to take the opportunity to nominate myself for the Secretary of Sarcasm and Cynicism. If this has already been filled I'll take a job in the Department of Conjecture, Rumor and Speculation.

-------------

Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 10:17am

Mack wrote:

In typical forum fashion, as I did not get my way, I am going to decline your offer, take my ball and go home. So there Mr. Poopy Pants.

-------------
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 10:21am

"Being a Mime is punishable by death in the Tippmann Forum. Anyone found guilty of being a mime will flogged, drawn and quartered, then shot and then fed to rabid weasels."

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 10:23am

I nominate Magoo/DeTrevni for Secretary of Hobbies and Diversions.

-------------

irc.esper.net
#paintball

Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:04am

mbro wrote:

oldpbnoob wrote:

I nominate Scotchy for forum drunk

I challenge this nomination. I may not speak in strange slang but I will give scotchy a run for his money any day.

I accept this challenge. I was at a wedding last night so I'm drunk right now if it matters.

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:38am

oldpbnoob wrote:

Mack wrote:

In typical forum fashion, as I did not get my way, I am going to decline your offer, take my ball and go home. So there Mr. Poopy Pants.

Obviously, you are not a real forum member if this is how you take disagreement/disappointment. The proper response is to call me names,* ignore my responses and argue against points I didn't actually make while supporting those arguments with links to sources that are either extremely biased or have nothing what-so-ever to do with the topic at hand. It is also appropriate to stereotype me by accusing me of being a member of some group you disapprove of. Since you did none of the above I can only assume that you have done away with the real oldpbnoob, who was an outstanding forumer, and are in actuality an impostor/infiltrator. Your inability to think outside your invisible box and accept a job (for the good of the forum) other than the specific one you wanted leads me to suspect you are a mime and you will be dealt with accordingly.

*You did get that part right.

-------------

Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:50am

Detrevni should obviously be in charge of the money reserves.

-------------
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl

Forum Vice President

RIP T&O Forum

Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:52am

Mack wrote:

oldpbnoob wrote:

Mack wrote:

In typical forum fashion, as I did not get my way, I am going to decline your offer, take my ball and go home. So there Mr. Poopy Pants.

Obviously, you are not a real forum member if this is how you take disagreement/disappointment. The proper response is to call me names,* ignore my responses and argue against points I didn't actually make while supporting those arguments with links to sources that are either extremely biased or have nothing what-so-ever to do with the topic at hand. It is also appropriate to stereotype me by accusing me of being a member of some group you disapprove of. Since you did none of the above I can only assume that you have done away with the real oldpbnoob who was an outstanding forumer and are in actuality an impostor/infiltrator. Your inability to think outside your invisible box and accept a job (for the good of the forum) other than the specific one you wanted leads me toI suspect you are a mime and you will be dealt with accordingly.

*You did get that part right.

See? You've fallen into my trap of showing you exactly how inept and incapable I am, thus proving once again my superior attributes for the position.

Also, since the time that I was a young boy that broke his arm playing Hacky Sack and had my arm healed miraculously by a Mime, I am incapable of discriminating against them. If you had been there, you would know the true love of Mimes and that they are the guiding force in our troubled world.

-------------
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.

Posted By: JohnnyHopper
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:52am

Is there an opening for director of the Tropical Investigation of Tipsy Top-heavy Indigenous Entertainment Systems?

I'll also accept any position where I can share my special high intensity training....

-------------
My shoes of peace have steel toes.

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:53am

__sneaky__ wrote:

Detrevni should obviously be in charge of the money reserves.

Good point. Since he never responded to the previous offer, I will support my VP's suggestion:

DeTrevni/Magoo is the Minister of Finance.

-------------

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 12:06pm

Mr President, I would like to appoint Old Soldier as my Forum Militia Sgt Major, GI Joe's Son, Eville, Snipa69,ThatGuitarGuy, Hers To You, and Brihard as my company commanders.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: agentwhale007
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 12:19pm

I'm turning down the nomination for press secretary.

A fourth estate is needed, even on the forum.

Besides, the job is about twisting facts and withholding the truth, something FE has shown he is a regular wunderkind at.

Posted By: Yomillio
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:28pm

oldpbnoob wrote:

Mack wrote:

oldpbnoob wrote:

Mack wrote:

In typical forum fashion, as I did not get my way, I am going to decline your offer, take my ball and go home. So there Mr. Poopy Pants.

Obviously, you are not a real forum member if this is how you take disagreement/disappointment. The proper response is to call me names,* ignore my responses and argue against points I didn't actually make while supporting those arguments with links to sources that are either extremely biased or have nothing what-so-ever to do with the topic at hand. It is also appropriate to stereotype me by accusing me of being a member of some group you disapprove of. Since you did none of the above I can only assume that you have done away with the real oldpbnoob who was an outstanding forumer and are in actuality an impostor/infiltrator. Your inability to think outside your invisible box and accept a job (for the good of the forum) other than the specific one you wanted leads me toI suspect you are a mime and you will be dealt with accordingly.

*You did get that part right.

See? You've fallen into my trap of showing you exactly how inept and incapable I am, thus proving once again my superior attributes for the position.

http://www.tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=172327 - Forum XBL Gamertag Collection

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:41pm

Ceesman762 wrote:

"Being a Mime is punishable by death in the Tippmann Forum. Anyone found guilty of being a mime will flogged, drawn and quartered, then shot and then fed to rabid weasels."

THIS IS THE PUNISHMENT FOR MIMES!!!!!!!!!

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Rofl_Mao
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 2:54pm

I can be forum fool?

I'm told that I fail alot...

EDIT: Although I need to come up with a better name than that. How about Minister of Failure?

Posted By: agentwhale007
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 3:04pm

Rofl_Mao wrote:

EDIT: Although I need to come up with a better name than that. How about Minister of Failure?

Court Jester.

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 3:06pm

agentwhale007 wrote:

Rofl_Mao wrote:

EDIT: Although I need to come up with a better name than that. How about Minister of Failure?

Court Jester.

I think Johnny Hopper was nominated for that position.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: sporx
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 3:12pm

anarchy.

-------------

Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 3:33pm

agentwhale007 wrote:

Rofl_Mao wrote:

EDIT: Although I need to come up with a better name than that. How about Minister of Failure?

Court Jester.

Better yet, we give Mr. Clingy something more appropriate.

Minister of Mucilaginy?

Secretary of Insecurity?

Department of Cheating Girlfriend Denial?

-------------
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 4:37pm

JohnnyHopper wrote:

Is there an opening for director of the Tropical Investigation of Tipsy Top-heavy Indigenous Entertainment Systems?

Actually there is . . . in the procurement sextion.

I'll also accept any position where I can share my special high intensity training....

You can be Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training. Make sure you appoint a Director Internet Procedures, Special High Intensity Training as well.

Ceesman762 wrote:

Mr President, I would like to appoint Old Soldier as my Forum Militia Sgt Major, GI Joe's Son, Eville, Snipa69,ThatGuitarGuy, Hers To You, and Brihard as my company commanders.

Good choices; approved.

agentwhale007 wrote:

I'm turning down the nomination for press secretary.

A fourth estate is needed, even on the forum.

So you're choosing to be my nemesis then?

Besides, the job is about twisting facts and withholding the truth, something FE has shown he is a regular wunderkind at.

I said he was qualified. If he accepts the position his first job will be to shut down any media that isn't on the approved list.

Yomillio wrote:

oldpbnoob wrote:

See? You've fallen into my trap of showing you exactly how inept and incapable I am, thus proving once again my superior attributes for the position.

As Minister of the Forum Secret Service, I must request you to stop speaking for mimes and comply with the President's truthful wishes in non-support of them. Non-compliance will result in a full 4 weeks of having to watch a single Rachel Ray cooking show on repeat, with no stoppages. Penalty can be lengthened or altered based on your ability to denounce mimes and anything associated.

Non-improvement at the end of your term will result in an additional two weeks of listening to Limp Bizket continually, or until your mental illness improves.

Well handled. May I suggest (as a suggestion only, I don't believe in micro-management) that if the above steps are insufficient to correct his behavior you consider sending him on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney?

Additionally, I would like to request that a position be made for Minister of Forum Grammar Nazism.

We'll start accepting applications immediately. (It's a shame Whale wants to go to the dark side . . . he would be a good choice for that job.)

Ceesman762 wrote:

agentwhale007 wrote:

Rofl_Mao wrote:

EDIT: Although I need to come up with a better name than that. How about Minister of Failure?

Court Jester.

I think Johnny Hopper was nominated for that position.

He was, but ended up with a different position. Court Jester it is. Rofl, amuse us or suffer the consequences. Bwa Ha Ha Ha . . .

-------------

Posted By: tallen702
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 5:47pm

Mack wrote:

Benjichang wrote:

Reb Cpl wrote:

I hereby nominate tallen for position of 'zombie defense
coordinator'

Seconded. Shorty needs to be Advisor to the Department of Zombie
Defense.

Consider it done. (As long as we redefine zombie to include anyone who
mindlessly spouts political rhetoric from the left/right and supports it
by linking to obviously biased sources.)

Uhm, there's one little problem here Mr. President. That means I'll have to take one of your press secretary candidates out back of the woodshed if you catch my drift....

-------------
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 6:53pm

Make it so. No one* in this administration is above the law.**

*Except me.
**Once they're caught.

-------------

Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 7:17pm

I thought about doing something today as forum VP, but then I decided that it wouldn't be appropriate for me to actually do something of value.

-------------
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl

Forum Vice President

RIP T&O Forum

Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 7:32pm

__sneaky__ wrote:

I thought about doing something today as forum VP, but then I decided that it wouldn't be appropriate for me to actually do something of value.

YOU'RE NOT AUTHORIZED TO MAKE DECISIONS.

-------------
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Posted By: Yomillio
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 9:42pm

usafpilot07 wrote:

__sneaky__ wrote:

I thought about doing something today as forum VP, but then I decided that it wouldn't be appropriate for me to actually do something of value.

YOU'RE NOT AUTHORIZED TO MAKE DECISIONS.

You're only supposed to be good for gaffes.

-------------

http://www.tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=172327 - Forum XBL Gamertag Collection

Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 10:08pm

Mack wrote:

__sneaky__ wrote:

Detrevni should obviously be in charge of the money reserves.

Good point. Since he never responded to the previous offer, I will support my VP's suggestion:DeTrevni/Magoo is the Minister of Finance.

I think Pandaman would have been a better choice.

-------------

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Posted By: Rofl_Mao
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 10:48pm

I think that people should put their forum positions in their signatures, that way people will know what office they hold.

Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 10:54pm

Being the most experienced with the GatyrAIDS, I nominate myself for head of Forum Disease Control/Redistribution.

-------------

Posted By: SSOK
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:25pm

Tallen should also double as Minister of Nuclear Control

-------------

Posted By: ammolord
Date Posted: 04 June 2010 at 11:58pm

I nominate myself for Secratary of Munitions for the forum.

-------------
PSN Tag: AmmoLord
XBL: xXAmmoLordXx

~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~

Posted By: agentwhale007
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 12:11am

Mack wrote:

So you're choosing to be my nemesis then?

Indeed.

I can see the headlines now:

MACK YET TO SHOW FULL BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

DID MACK GIVE TERRORIST FIST BUMP?

DID MACK'S WIFE USE THE TERM WHITEY?

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 1:23am

agentwhale007 wrote:

Mack wrote:

So you're choosing to be my nemesis then?

Indeed.

I can see the headlines now:

MACK YET TO SHOW FULL BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

I provided a link . . . it's not my fault if you (as the official forum evil MSM representative) choose to make up facts as opposed to actually doing research by following the link.

DID MACK GIVE TERRORIST FIST BUMP?

Yes, twice . . . once upside the head and once in the gut . . . because I am tough on terrorists. (Please visualize me doing a cheesy weightlifter flexing pose while reading the above.)

DID MACK'S WIFE USE THE TERM WHITEY?

No, she was accused of using the term "Callie" which is considered derogatory by people from California who immigrate to Montana. However, she only used the term because it happens to be the name of our cat.*

*Also known as Evilkat.

-------------

Posted By: Yomillio
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 8:16am

agentwhale007 wrote:

Mack wrote:

So you're choosing to be my nemesis then?

Indeed.

I can see the headlines now:

MACK YET TO SHOW FULL BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

DID MACK GIVE TERRORIST FIST BUMP?

DID MACK'S WIFE USE THE TERM WHITEY?

Keep this up, and I will have all of your papers pertaining to citizenship conveniently displaced and have you sent to Arizona where you will be promptly questioned by an officer who would like to see your papers. He will not believe you when you say that you lost your papers, seeing as you very clearly look like an immigrant and you will be sent away with haste.

-------------

http://www.tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=172327 - Forum XBL Gamertag Collection

Posted By: StormyKnight
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 10:04am

StormyKnight wrote:

SSOK wrote:

I am willing to accept any positions I am nominated for.

Since my post was largely overlooked (and rightly so), I thought I'd buy some minor cabinet position. Say, Minister of Depravity? How much do you need me to write on that IOU, DeTrevni?

-------------

Posted By: ThatGuitarGuy
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 12:19pm

Ceesman762 wrote:

Mr President, I would like to appoint Old Soldier as my Forum Militia Sgt Major, GI Joe's Son, Eville, Snipa69,ThatGuitarGuy, Hers To You, and Brihard as my company commanders.

We get to name our own Company right? I'm just assuming I'm 4th Company, as I was listed 4th. Or are we naming them alphabetically. Someone needs to get this miltiary organized, it's like we're in the Navy or something.

-------------
Skillet: I've never been terribly fond of the look of a vagina

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 6:50pm

ammolord wrote:

I nominate myself for Secratary of Munitions for the forum.

That's not the official job title, but the job is yours.

Edited Observation:

For some reason when I read Whale's reply below . . .

agentwhale007 wrote:

Mack wrote:

So you're choosing to be my nemesis then?

Indeed.

. . . I imagine him sounding exactly like T'ealc off of Stargate: SG1.

-------------

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 7:01pm

Yeah, it's a double post. I am forum president however. Anyway, at least I'm not interrupting prime time TV with an "important message" for the nation on every channel.

That said, I introduce the administration as it stands so far. The positions are listed in no particular order of importance with the exceptions of the Forum President, VP, Court Jester and Nemesis.

President -- Mack (Hey, that's me!)

Vice President -- Sneaky
(Additional duty assignment is to behave in a manner that makes the President look good in comparison.*)

Minister in Charge, Secret Service (AKA Compliance Cult) -- Yomillio

Zombie** Defense Coordinator -- Tallen

Field Martial, Tippmann Militia (FMTM) -- Ceeseman
(Additional duty assignment as Minister of Marksmanship)
Tippmann Forum Militia (TFM) Leadership:

TFM Sgt Major -- OS
Company Commanders:

GI Joe's Son
Originally Eville -- replacement needed as he accepted a different position
Snipa69
ThatGuitarGuy
Here's To You
Brihard

Ambassador, PB Nation -- Choopie911 [Pending Acceptance)

Secretary of Forum -- USAF
(Additional duty assignment Chooser of Random Forum Whipping Boys.)

Instigator of Profitable Conflicts Between Third Party Nations -- Eville

Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions) -- Ammolord

Minister of Finance -- Magoo AKA DeTrevni [Pending Acceptance]

Sky Marshall, Tippmann Air Corp -- Tolgak
    (Related duties include head distribution agent of pro-ministry literature/history and coordinator of festivities for Wacky Tacky Tie Day.)

Secretary of Sarcasm and Cynicism -- Stormy

Head of Department of Conjecture, Rumor and Speculation -- as this department falls under the Secretary of Sarcasm and Cynicism, we await his preferred nominee.

Minister in Charge, Forum Grammar Police --unfilled
     (Duties include painfully correcting anything related to any misuse of the English language.)

Boss In General, Special High Intensity Training -- JohnnyHopper [Pending Acceptance]
    (Additional duty assignment as Head of Procument/Investigation, Tropical Tipsy Top-heavy Indigenous Entertainment System)

Director Internet Procedures, Special High Intensity Training -- to be appointed by Boss in General

Press Secretary -- FE [Pending Acceptance]

Minister of Disease Control and Redistribution -- Gatyr

Court Jester -- Rofl

Official Administration Nemesis and Public Enemy #1 -- Whale

As I put this together via cut and paste while going through this thread, please*** let me know if I missed anything.

*As this will probably be a full-time job in and of itself, it is a good thing that the VP has no other real duties.
*"Zombie" includes those who spout insufficiently supported mindless political rhetoric.
***Note the use of "please" when even though this was a command . . . now that is indicative of true leadership skills.

-------------

Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 05 June 2010 at 7:25pm

As minister of The DCR Agency, I feel it would be apt for me to assume overseer of all Pharmaceutical companies as well.

Remember, we don't want cures for the diseases under my control, just treatments.

-------------

Posted By: JohnnyHopper
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 3:59am

I accept the position with bureaucratic gusto! I look forward to faithfully executing my duties in between my 10 mandatory 30 minute breaks, 8 weeks paid vacation and 3 hour lunch break.

Please take a number and this stack of forms. You will be seen in the order that you arrive.

-------------
My shoes of peace have steel toes.

Posted By: Eville
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 4:05am

I would like to accept the position of Company Commander as well. Having a company under my command would enable me to better perform my duties as Instigator of Profitable Conflicts Between Third Party Nations

-------------

Posted By: ThatGuitarGuy
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:16am

I believe Eville should only get a Reservist company then, as his duties lie elsewhere.

-------------
Skillet: I've never been terribly fond of the look of a vagina

Posted By: StormyKnight
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 6:35pm

Gatyr wrote:

As minister of The DCR Agency, I feel it would be apt for me to assume overseer of all Pharmaceutical companies as well.

Remember, we don't want cures for the diseases under my control, just treatments.

Minister, on a case by case basis, do you support the "killing the patient to cure the disease"?

-------------

Posted By: StormyKnight
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 6:39pm

Mack wrote:

Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions) -- Ammolord

Don't let Doc Nickel find out about that appointment. He'll get lawyer'd up for that position.

-------------

Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 7:41pm

can i be something that has to do with beer?

I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 7:52pm

ThatGuitarGuy wrote:

Ceesman762 wrote:

Mr President, I would like to appoint Old Soldier as my Forum Militia Sgt Major, GI Joe's Son, Eville, Snipa69,ThatGuitarGuy, Hers To You, and Brihard as my company commanders.

Affirmative. You can name the company, 4th company it is since I really did not have a structure in mind. Eville will be a reservist commander and his company as well, but he will need a second in command, his pick. Who is yours?
Oh and I recommend Benji and Reb as our scouts.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 7:59pm

Suitable bribery may very well put certain abilities that I have at your immediate disposal.

Just saying.

-------------
?

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 10:28pm

Reb Cpl wrote:

Suitable bribery may very well put certain abilities that I have at your immediate disposal.

Just saying.

My wife will make you brownies and you get the rank of Cpl.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Eville
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 10:38pm

I choose Jmac to be my second in command. His ability of labeling things retarded will prove invaluable.

-------------

Posted By: Koolit32
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:01pm

I lost my right to vote. Help me out.

Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:02pm

procarbinefreak wrote:

can i be something that has to do with beer?I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

I'm from wisconsin and I brew.

-------------

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:14pm

mbro wrote:

procarbinefreak wrote:

can i be something that has to do with beer?I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

I'm from wisconsin and I brew.

The belgian ale I made with my dad's supplies just finished and it's delicious.

Posted By: Tolgak
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:26pm

Koolit32 wrote:

I lost my right to vote. Help me out.

You have no need to vote! The state will provide!

-------------

Posted By: ThatGuitarGuy
Date Posted: 06 June 2010 at 11:41pm

procarbinefreak wrote:

mbro wrote:

procarbinefreak wrote:

can i be something that has to do with beer?I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

I'm from wisconsin and I brew.

The belgian ale I made with my dad's supplies just finished and it's delicious.

If PCF has no other position, I would like him as my 2nd in command, as his brewing experience, and being able to make a good ale, should greatly influence the morale in the company.

-------------
Skillet: I've never been terribly fond of the look of a vagina

Posted By: Tolgak
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 12:18am

Perhaps we can arrange to drop pallets of PCF's product to our fighting men and woman in our ongoing war with Gnome Island.

-------------

Posted By: mod98commando
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 1:06am

agentwhale007 wrote:

Rofl_Mao wrote:

EDIT: Although I need to come up with a better name than that. How about Minister of Failure?

Court Jester.

Too bad I didn't get to this thread before this title was made official. I was going to suggest FAIL Czar.

-------------
oreomann33: Everybody invades Poland

Rofl_Mao: And everyone eats turkey

Me: But only if they're hungary

Mack: Yeah but hungary people go russian through their food and end up with greece on everyth

Posted By: The Guy
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 3:17am

Mack wrote:

Friends, forumers and fellow interneters.

Thank you for your confidence in electing me as Forum President. As I know you are all amazingly busy people with important stuff to do* I will keep this fairly short.

In my capacity as Forum President I humbly vow to serve the best interests of the forum in every way possible. With that in mind I have decided to take inspiration from the great leaders of the past and present. To this end I will list these inspirational people and their specific traits I will be emulating.

I promise to lead in the following manner.

With the honesty of Nixon
The fidelity of Kennedy
The sobriety of Grant
The decisiveness of Carter
The morality of Clinton
The compassion of Cheney
The wisdom of Quayle
The communications skills of Biden
And finally, the consensus building talents of George W. Bush
And the mad dancefloor skills of Roosevelt

-------------
http://www.anomationanodizing.com - My Site

Posted By: Flurry
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 5:29am

I second the vote for the armed Forum. I am willing to step up to deal with the Mime issues. As long as I get to use my own methods when I deal with the Mimes and Mime supporters. No Mime related questions will be answered unless posted by one of the Company Comanders, President, or VP.

-------------
It sucks being antisocial alone.

Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 7:37am

procarbinefreak wrote:

mbro wrote:

procarbinefreak wrote:

can i be something that has to do
with beer?I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

I'm from wisconsin and I brew.

The belgian ale I made with my dad's supplies just finished and it's delicious.

Well I have my own equipment

-------------

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:04am

Eville wrote:

I choose Jmac to be my second in command. His ability of labeling things retarded will prove invaluable.

Agreed, however it may conflict with your field command and decisions. Now, I had a special job for him, USAF, and any other speed ball player within our Forum Militia. My theory is that speed ball players are great in small unit tactics, communicate well with each other and good at working on small battle fields. I was looking to make them assault troops. Are you willing to command the Forum Assault Troops?

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:47am

Mack wrote:

Press Secretary -- FE [Pending Acceptance]

I think i have the metals to be able to manipulate the media in a worthy manner... But, I am surprised that you would put me in this most powerful position. Everyone knows the media controls the message.

My only request is that I am labeled the "Chief of Press". It will be a nice feather to add to my warbonnet.

Alas, everyone knows I am too lazy to actually be a "secretary"... Way too much work involved; writing, and taking notes... and such.

Any official T&O correspondence will need to be filtered through my new and improved "Turing test v2.1" software to insure validity and linkage of content, with the ultimate goal of being right.

Any references to mimes are also automatically disqualified. hence the reason slacker wasn't nominated for any category. Clearly not paying $5 is a mime offense...

Thank you for the nomination...

God Bless T&O

(flag waving in the background as the harlem boys choir, sings the T&O song, while waves crash onto the oil stained beaches caused by the prior President)

-------------
They tremble at my name...

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:52am

FE, just what exactly will the Forum Anthem be?

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 10:02am

Ceesman762 wrote:

FE, just what exactly will the Forum Anthem be?

Got me... I just report the news.

clearly stormy will be in charge of that one...

-------------
They tremble at my name...

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 10:05am

"Always look on the Bright side of Life" by the Monty Pythons.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Rofl_Mao
Date Posted: 07 June 2010 at 1:57pm

mbro wrote:

Well I have my own equipment

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 08 June 2010 at 12:50am

Gatyr wrote:

As minister of The DCR Agency, I feel it would be apt for me to assume overseer of all Pharmaceutical companies as well.

Certainly

Remember, we don't want cures for the diseases under my control, just treatments.

Affirmitive

Eville wrote:

I would like to accept the position of Company Commander as well. Having a company under my command would enable me to better perform my duties as Instigator of Profitable Conflicts Between Third Party Nations

Very good point. Plus I'm in favor of anything that blurs the line between civilian/military leadership.

StormyKnight wrote:

Mack wrote:

Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions) -- Ammolord

Don't let Doc Nickel find out about that appointment. He'll get lawyer'd up for that position.

If he wanted the job, he should have put in for it . . . he only has himself to blame.

procarbinefreak wrote:

can i be something that has to do with beer?

I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

I dub thee Beer Czar.

Reb Cpl wrote:

Suitable bribery may very well put certain abilities that I have at your immediate disposal.

Just saying.

Don't forget the tithe to the president and the taxes required on all bribe-related matters.

mbro wrote:

procarbinefreak wrote:

can i be something that has to do with beer?I am from Wisconsin, therefore an expert in the field.

I'm from wisconsin and I brew.

Unfortunately you are currently ineligible for the Beer Czar position as I am still waiting for you and Scotchy to battle it out for the position of forum drunk.

The Guy wrote:

And the mad dancefloor skills of Roosevelt

I am a much better dancer than Roosevelt . . . I have one of http://www.hoveround.com/wp/products/power-chairs/mp5-power-wheel-chair/ - these .

FreeEnterprise wrote:

Mack wrote:

Press Secretary -- FE [Pending Acceptance]

My only request is that I am labeled the "Chief of Press".

We can do that. Please get to work immediately on discrediting/dismantling the opposition.

Ceesman762 wrote:

"Always look on the Bright side of Life" by the Monty Pythons.

Excellent choice . . . I like it.

(We also need to find uses for "The LumberJack Song" and the "Spam Song.")

mbro wrote:

Well I have my own equipment

But does the GF let you take it down off the shelf and use it?

-------------

Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 08 June 2010 at 8:21am

There is a forum currently attempting to use our likeness without our permission.

I present to you...

http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?s=93594cdf739b422c18bf6c91524d0dd6&t=486274 - http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?s=93594cdf739b422c18bf6c91524d0dd6&t=486274

Clearly they are not the "tippmann forum" and based on their rules, they don't have any issues with mimes.

As Cheif of press, clearly I can't make policy.

But, as a long standing member of FreeEnterprise, I find that many things can be handled outside of the normal rules of law. hence from now on, any mimes that attempt to infiltrate our midst should be politely referenced over to pbn as a proper home for them.

This will lead to the future destruction of their site, as everyone knows mimes destroy the living, and are the root of all that is evil.

-------------
They tremble at my name...

Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 08 June 2010 at 10:07am

While in my search for a Mime animation with which to taunt you all, I apparently contracted a rather ugly virus on Friday which shut me down for the weekend until my tech could spend all day yesterday getting rid of it. I am now of the like mindset that Mimes should be in fact hunted down and burned like the evil spawn that they are. I will now take my post as Imigration officer or whatever. My love of Kanukistan is not strong, so tread lightly yea of the Northern regions.

-------------
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.