Thoughts and Opinions - Another Scotchy adventure (With pikeys)

Print Page | Close Window

Another Scotchy adventure (With pikeys)

Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
Forum Description: Got something you need to say?
URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=185888
Printed Date: 28 April 2026 at 7:58am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.04 - http://www.webwizforums.com

Topic: Another Scotchy adventure (With pikeys)

Posted By: scotchyscotch
Subject: Another Scotchy adventure (With pikeys)
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 10:36am

Last Friday I was feeling decidedly rough after the wedding the night before in which I mistook the hot barmaids attempt to kill me with half pints of free jager and mystery drink that used far too many bottles to be a good idea as a sign that my chat was on form for the night and she wanted to have a squatch under the kilt.

So on i went to my mates 21st birthday party and that went pretty well. We rented out a room of a club and everyone had a skinfull. I just about kept my dignity although I reckon only just.
With our attempts to chat up the fat birds failing and the big black guy that does the aftershave and lollipops in the bog looking for us to kick our heads in after my mate Johny gave him what he insists was a "Happy slap" we staggered out of the club. Regrouped and decided we were going to the local skin bar. We found this was shut :( It was now that that Johnny came up with the plan that we were going on a "Hoor hunt" but I didn't fancy the chances at 4 am in Glasgow of finding anything. So we went to the casino.

Here we befriend a nice wee tart and her fat pals. Have some more beers and get kicked out at 6am.

Im parelitic at this point and decide to go on an adventure. With limited cash we decide to get the London train and wherever we get booted off thats where we go and get wrecked. We get papped in Penrith (About an hour into England. And I cant be bothered writing the rest properly so I'll bullet point it for you.

Talk to a taxi driver at the station who said the last time Scots turned up like this we wrecked there castle and killed a few peeps.
Taxi driver tells us theres a huge Gypsy festival on and not to go near it because the Pikeys like a good fight
On our way passed a car showroom I chuck johnny into the boot of one of the cars and shut the lid. Thinking i can open it from the outside.
I cannot
I interupt a meeting in the showroom to get the keys to the car becaus ehe "fell" into it
We go get a bottle of vodka and sit in a park in the sun its about 9am
We finish the vodka so we go get a couple of bottles of buckfast tonic wine
We chat to a girl with a van and I spend the next hour being driven around cumbria in the back of a van filled with newspapers and drunks.
We go to a pub and make friends with the natives very good friends in my mate Johnnys case he picks up a wee tart.
We get thrown out of the pub because the barmaid was a silly cow and was informed of the fact.
Tart says that the Gypsy festival will be a laugh
I suspect she's a pikey
- We go to the pikey festival as pissed as three farts get into arguments with the Police and a few pikeys. Get threatened by the local young team but after a few stern words there our pals.
- Attempt to hitch hike home to no avail. Stumble acros some more Gypo's. Invite us for a piss up and barbecue
- I Wake up in a field in the wrong bloody country. No tent no sleeping bag very cold.
- We go home.
Not a bad weekend really. Thers so much more that happened but i Cant be bothered writing it and i dont think you can be bothered reading it.

Replies:

Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 10:44am

"I (friggin) hate pikeys".

-------------

irc.esper.net
#paintball

Posted By: usafpilot07
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 10:49am

I didn't understand most of that, but I came away with two things.

You live a very interesting life, and i still get quite the enjoyment from tryign to decipher your dialect.

-------------
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 10:51am

I did try to "boi a kerrivann fer me mah" But they took offense. And if you ever come across one dont and I mean DON'T call them silly wee pikey tikeys.

Posted By: The Guy
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 10:59am

hahaha, i read that with an accent too. Its twice as funny.

-------------
http://www.anomationanodizing.com - My Site

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 11:25am

What the hell is a pikey?

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:08pm

Ceesman762 wrote:

What the hell is a pikey?

I think it's drunk-Scottish-slang for a "gypsy." But I have to admit that I had trouble initially figuring it out too.

The first thing I thought of was that perhaps it was a misspelling of "pics" or "piks" and we would see cool pictures.

The second thing I thought of was one of these . . .

. . . but that didn't make a lot of sense. (Although, I could see scotchy getting drunk enough to practice nefarious deeds on a fish . . . especially if the only other option included fat chicks given his obvious disdain for the hefty heifers.)

Then I thought of this . . .

. . . which makes more sense. I could easily imagine a drunk scotchy conducting a raid on a castle/museum in England and ending up running around the country with a stolen pole-arm and the local constabulary in hot pursuit.

But after reading his post thoroughly, I came to the conclusion that it was just a slang term for gypsies.

scotchyscotch wrote:

On our way passed a car showroom I chuck johnny into the boot of one of the cars and shut the lid. Thinking i can open it from the outside.
I cannot

I loled at the second line above.

scotchyscotch wrote:

I Wake up in a field in the wrong bloody country. No tent no sleeping bag very cold

I can commiserate since I have "been there, done that." (Right country, but the only cover I had was my pants which I had apparently gotten off without removing my boots and I was in somebody's backyard next to their pool rather than being in my barracks.)

-------------

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:13pm

Thanks, Mr. President. BTW you have some executive decisions to make in regards to a certain thread that casts a taint on to our Forum and our "dislike" for mimes.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:22pm

People that are able to drink for nearly 24 hours solid and continue to function amaze me. I would have easily passed out somewhere at the 6 am mark. Even in my college days. I have to admit, the thought of sitting in a park at 9am drinking vodka and sitting in the sun after a night of partying, actually made me a little ill.... and than following it up with some wine.

-------------
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.

Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:27pm

^^^ I used to be able to drink as much as I wanted, get a few hours sleep and then wake up sober and without a hint of hangover. (Ahhh, to be young and foolish again.)

Ceesman762 wrote:

Thanks, Mr. President. BTW you have some executive decisions to make in regards to a certain thread that casts a taint on to our Forum and our "dislike" for mimes.

My decision is that I appointed people to handle these things and I will allow them to do so at their own discretion. In this way I both avoid micro-managing and maintain plausible deniability* for later if required.

*Based on the theory that I have no responsibility for any acts performed by my minions. (Which is based on the current trend among the forum liberals of absolving the President Obama of any responsibility related to the acts of his appointees.)

-------------

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 12:29pm

Mack wrote:

My decision is that I appointed people to handle these things and I will allow them to do so at their own discretion. In this way I both avoid micro-managing and maintain plausible deniability* for later if required.

*Based on the theory that I have no responsibility for any acts performed by my minions. (Which is based on the current trend among the forum liberals of absolving the President Obama of any responsibility related to the acts of his appointees.)

So we can "interrogation and re-educate" with out any real permission? Awesome.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 2:21pm

Ceesman762 wrote:

What the hell is a pikey?

Clearly you've never seen the movie, Snatch.

-------------

irc.esper.net
#paintball

Posted By: __sneaky__
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 3:15pm

scotchyscotch wrote:

Scotcy, you poof.

-------------
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl

Forum Vice President

RIP T&O Forum

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 3:50pm

Benjichang wrote:

Ceesman762 wrote:

What the hell is a pikey?

Clearly you've never seen the movie, Snatch.

Affirmative, do you recommend a viewing?

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: ThatGuitarGuy
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 5:14pm

Cees, YES!!

Go watch the movie NOW!!!!

-------------
Skillet: I've never been terribly fond of the look of a vagina

Posted By: tallen702
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 9:09pm

Scotchy. I think you need to chronicle your interesting weekends and write a book. Seriously. Do it. You'd make a mint if you found a publisher here in the US.

-------------
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>

Posted By: ParielIsBack
Date Posted: 11 June 2010 at 9:13pm

Can't be worse than "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" (which is utterly hilarious). I vote yes.

-------------
BU Engineering 2012

Posted By: agentwhale007
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 2:01am

scotchyscotch wrote:

On our way passed a car showroom I chuck johnny into the boot of one of the cars and shut the lid. Thinking i can open it from the outside.
I cannot

Easily the best part of the story.

Posted By: ammolord
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 2:09am

ParielIsBack wrote:

Can't be worse than "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" (which is utterly hilarious). I vote yes.

agentwhale007 wrote:

scotchyscotch wrote:

On our way passed a car showroom I chuck johnny into the boot of one of the cars and shut the lid. Thinking i can open it from the outside.
I cannot

Easily the best part of the story.

-------------
PSN Tag: AmmoLord
XBL: xXAmmoLordXx

~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~

Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 10:55am

oldpbnoob wrote:

After the 2 week benders on holiday with the lads a wee friday to sunday session gets easier.

As to the chronicles of a drunken arse, I'll look into it. I cant really write though in case you haven't noticed and I cant reallly remember much of the adventures.

Posted By: Impulse.
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 11:12am

I'm suprised you remembered that much. I would of woke up in jail naked after a event like that.

-------------
[IMG]http://www.word-detective.com/berry.gif">

Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 11:20am

I had help. The three of us managed to piece together a good chunk of the night while waiting for the train. a lot of "huh... oooohhhh yeeeaahhh" flashback moments. Thats only the forum safe/ cut down so I would bother posting it version.

Posted By: tallen702
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 11:56am

scotchyscotch wrote:

As to the chronicles of a drunken arse, I'll look into it. I cant really write though in case you haven't noticed and I cant reallly remember much of the adventures.

Solution: Get a dictaphone, the little tape-machines you always see in the police movies. The ones they use to record the killer's confession. Just say it instead of writing it down, then you can go back later and write it out or have someone else do it.

-------------
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 1:08pm

tallen702 wrote:

scotchyscotch wrote:

As to the chronicles of a drunken arse, I'll look into it. I cant really write though in case you haven't noticed and I cant reallly remember much of the adventures.

No. I want this live, I say Scotchy-Cam.

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Impulse.
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 1:22pm

Ceesman762 wrote:

tallen702 wrote:

scotchyscotch wrote:

As to the chronicles of a drunken arse, I'll look into it. I cant really write though in case you haven't noticed and I cant reallly remember much of the adventures.

No. I want this live, I say Scotchy-Cam.

-------------
[IMG]http://www.word-detective.com/berry.gif">

Posted By: stratoaxe
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 1:37pm

I've never had any trouble drinking for a couple of days straight. Plus, I rarely ever get hangovers, so I guess I'm just lucky in that area.

I do have friends who are knocked out for days after one solid evening of drinking, however. I can't fathom how miserable that would be

Posted By: Impulse.
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 2:25pm

Originally posted by stratoaxe
<DIV>I do have friends who are knocked out for days after one solid evening of drinking, however. I can't fathom how miserable that would be <img src=http://tippmann.com/forum/wwf77a/smileys/smiley36.gif height=17 width=17 border=0 alt=LOL title=LOL /></DIV>[/QUOTE

stratoaxe
I do have friends who are knocked out for days after one solid evening of drinking, however. I can't fathom how miserable that would be
[/QUOTE wrote:

That would be me. Either beer or wine/champange to excess, puts me into a hangover coma.

Liquor on the other hand I'm usually ok. As long as it not mixed with "toxins" such as energy drinks etc.

That would be me. Either beer or wine/champange to excess, puts me into a hangover coma.

Liquor on the other hand I'm usually ok. As long as it not mixed with "toxins" such as energy drinks etc.

-------------
[IMG]http://www.word-detective.com/berry.gif">

Posted By: ParielIsBack
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 2:59pm

I will seriously send scotchy $10 towards a video camera if he then uses it for Scotchy-Cam.

-------------
BU Engineering 2012

Posted By: Kingtiger
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 3:46pm

ParielIsBack wrote:

I will seriously send scotchy $10 towards a video camera if he then uses it for Scotchy-Cam.

Posted By: Ceesman762
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 4:52pm

Kingtiger wrote:

ParielIsBack wrote:

I will seriously send scotchy $10 towards a video camera if he then uses it for Scotchy-Cam.

The Forum has spoken!!!! We need, no We Demand Scotchy-Cam!!!!

-------------
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!

Posted By: Impulse.
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 4:55pm

Ceesman762 wrote:

Kingtiger wrote:

ParielIsBack wrote:

I will seriously send scotchy $10 towards a video camera if he then uses it for Scotchy-Cam.

The Forum has spoken!!!! We need, no We Demand Scotchy-Cam!!!!

-------------
[IMG]http://www.word-detective.com/berry.gif">

Posted By: SSOK
Date Posted: 12 June 2010 at 9:57pm

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=ie7&q=drunk+scottish+to+english+translator&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&rlz=1I7ACGW_enUS330 - http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=ie7&q=drunk+scottish+to+english+translator&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&rlz=1I7ACGW_enUS330

-------------

Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 13 June 2010 at 1:33am

Originally posted by Impulse.}
<table width=

Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.}
<table width=

Originally posted by Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.}
<table width=

Originally posted by Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=ParielIsBack alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=ParielIsBack style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> <strong>Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=Kingtiger wrote:</strong><br /><br />[QUOTE=ParielIsBack wrote:</strong><br /><br />I will seriously send scotchy $10 towards a video camera if he then uses it for Scotchy-Cam.</td></tr></table></td></tr></table>The Forum has spoken!!!! We need, no We Demand Scotchy-Cam!!!!</td></tr></table> [/QUOTE

Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger wrote:

[QUOTE=ParielIsBack alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger wrote:

[QUOTE=ParielIsBack style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger alt=Originally posted by Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Ceesman762 alt=Originally posted by Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 style=vertical-align: text-bottom; /> Impulse.} [QUOTE=Ceesman762 wrote:

[QUOTE=Kingtiger wrote:

[QUOTE=ParielIsBack wrote:

I will seriously send scotchy $10 towards a video camera if he then uses it for Scotchy-Cam.

The Forum has spoken!!!! We need, no We Demand Scotchy-Cam!!!!

[/QUOTE wrote:

-------------

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 15 June 2010 at 11:33am

Okeydokey

Send cash and watch me fall over in all the countries of the world
Me and my mate that went to london were talking about the Dam next time one of us wins at the casino.

Or alternitavely you could sponsor us for a trip of your choosing and we'll take requests on activities. Embarrassed

Posted By: Rofl_Mao
Date Posted: 15 June 2010 at 1:58pm

scotchyscotch wrote:

We get thrown out of the pub because the barmaid was a silly cow and was informed of the fact.

I LOL'd.