Fun Stuff- Depressed
Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
Forum Description: Got something you need to say?
URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=187050
Printed Date: 03 May 2026 at 5:14pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.04 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Fun Stuff- Depressed
Posted By: oldsoldier
Subject: Fun Stuff- Depressed
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 8:45am
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WHY I'M DEPRESSED
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses(sp) and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land . Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your arses(sp), and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land. Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, saving Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline . I had to press 1 for English. I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...... ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 8:58am
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Ok, so that was a little funny. ------------- "When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter. |
Posted By: brihard
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 9:22am
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I grinned. ------------- "Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation." -FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011. Yup, he actually said that. |
Posted By: JohnnyHopper
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 9:44am
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Shovel ready work! ------------- My shoes of peace have steel toes. |
Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:00am
Yeah....same. in b4 no sense of humor. ------------- ? |
brihard wrote:Posted By: Gatyr
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:09am
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I found the last line legitimately funny, and could see myself laughing pretty hard if it was presented by someone like Gabriel Iglesias or someone good at manipulating their voice. Obligatory "FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: " ------------- 
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Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 1:00pm
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"Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses" I knew there was something wrong with this guy. |
Posted By: DaveEllis
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 1:47pm
I think there'd be a bigger problem if he requested they mount his arse....I think the bible speaks against that.
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Posted By: stratoaxe
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 2:14pm
 Sorry, had to get it on the FWD: FWD: FWD: action.
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Posted By: choopie911
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 5:15pm
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OMG IM OFFENDED, MUSLIMS ARE GOOD PEOPLE AND MOSES DIDNT EXIST!!!! WAHHRHRHRHARRRHGGBGBGBGLLL!!!!
Etc. 
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Posted By: Project Irene
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:05pm
| I lol'd. |
Posted By: ammolord
Date Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:10pm
Got a good laugh out of this  ------------- PSN Tag: AmmoLord XBL: xXAmmoLordXx ~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~ |