So, as you may have read from the thread on squatting, for the past few days I've been sick with some kind of stomach flu. I have no idea what it is, but deduction says it is from the amount of post-nasal drip coming from my head and into my digestive track. 

Either way, I feel like I've chugged a gallon of Mexican tap water. 

Last night I was up about every hour to release thine unholy springs from my Netherlands, so by the morning time I was hideously dehydrated. 

Downstairs, I slowly drank a tall glass of Gatorade. 

It settled pretty well, so I decided to take a bit of a risk and eat some Cheerios. 

I attributed my total feeling of awfulness partially to the fact that I'm hypoglycemic, and the only thing I'd managed to keep in my system without it coming out either end was a half of a chicken breast, cooked in the oven and diced up. And that was Monday evening. Everything else since then my stomach has immediately rejected. 

The Cheerios were consumed slowly, testing the digestive waters. 

Things were actually going quite well, from what it seemed. 

Then, I felt the rumblings of another call of Angel Falls needing to exit my lower half, so I scurried upstairs to the bathroom. 

Halfway through that process, my body decided that right then, it was going to reject the Cheerios. I did not have much time to react. 

My options were as follows: 

Ok, so now what to choose as a receptacle? 

The bathroom garbage can? 

Nope, it's full of assorted bathroom garbage things that never get dumped into the main trash and taken out, and therefore it almost overflowing. Going in that is going to make a bigger mess than I want to deal with.

The only choice I saw was the tub.

So, I leaned over and let loose. 

There I was, evil exiting me from both ends, dizzy from dehydration and gripping the towel rack with whatever strength I had left in order to not slip into the tub. After a few (15) minutes of sitting on the throne and staring at the ceiling, I closed my eyes and almost took a small nap. Or passed out. Not sure.

As far as awful mornings go, I think I may have actually beat Reb on this one.  

I've been staggering the Gatorade with drinking a glass of water after, but mixing is probably a good idea too. 

Mack wrote: Stick with dry toast for food.

 

I'm going to do this from now on. Last night I was feeling really tense in my everywhere muscles, which I attributed to a lack of potassium. In turn, I ate a banana for dinner. 

This morning, all I could taste was bananas coming back up. 

High Voltage wrote: I quickly grabbed a kleenex and smashed the trash down to make room.

As a man who has vomited undigested macaroni and cheese into the bathtub I can tell you the only veritable solution is to mash it down with your toes.

Welcome to your new reality.