Huh?
Printed From: Tippmann Paintball
Category: News And Views
Forum Name: Thoughts and Opinions
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URL: http://www.tippmannsports.com/forum/wwf77a/forum_posts.asp?TID=187779
Printed Date: 02 February 2026 at 4:03am
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Topic: Huh?
Posted By: Mack
Subject: Huh?
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 12:35pm
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The following is a letter to the editor from the 21 Feb edition of our local paper. I couldn't find a link, but the author was just so "out there" that I decided to retype the entire letter here for everyone's amusement. Any misspellings/typos are probably mine and the name (although printed in the paper) was withheld to protect the terminally without a life: Case against dogs I notice the Tribune has been printing a lot of anti-dog propaganda lately with stories about cuddly canines causing traffic fatalities and spreading disease. Good! It's about time. The case against "canis familiaris" is overwhelming. The "good book" spills a bean or two about the ignoble cur, as in Proverbs 26:11, "As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly." This also sheds illumination on why our two species are so simpatico, but that is only the beginning of the vile habits of "man's best fiend."* He barks and yaps incessantly. He licks his crotch and then wants to lick your face. He defecates and sheds everywhere. He is coprophagous. He is randomly randy and doesn't care who knows it. he bites people. He chews things up. He abjectly grovels to humans, disgracing his noble lineage. He is a horrible example for children, unless you want your child to grow up to be a mooching parasite with filthy habits. Readers who believe a "however" is coming are wrong. The tiny percentage of dogs that are actually intelligent and useful is statistically insignificant. Legends of canine loyalty are largely baloney. For every Greyfriars Bobby or Old Shep (assuming those yarns to be true), there are millions of promiscuous pooches that will lick the hand of anyone who deigns to feed them. There are also the cases of shut-in mongrels that resort to eating their dead masters. *Correctly quoted for those who are curious. ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 12:40pm
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This reads like something William Randolph Hearst wrote about dogs. -------------  irc.esper.net #paintball |
Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 12:43pm
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^^^ I'll have to look that up now.
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Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 12:43pm
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I wonder what he thinks about cats... ------------- They tremble at my name... 
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Posted By: Benjichang
Date Posted: 22 February 2011 at 12:48pm
------------- irc.esper.net #paintball |
Mack wrote:Posted By: procarbinefreak
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 1:09pm
Loves them to death... probably has 35 of em.
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Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 3:45pm
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Sounds like something our drunken narcoleptic mayor would have written if she wasn't illiterate. ------------- "When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter. |
Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 10:37pm
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Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 23 February 2011 at 11:41pm
------------- "When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter. |