Anyways, as a few of you know, I own my own photography studio, and go to school full time. My schedule isn't the easiest in the world, but it could also be much worse than it is currently. I'm studying business and fine arts, I've also been kicking around the idea of taking up psychology as a minor; just because it interests me a lot. So again, far less insanity than when I was studying physics, but I'm still not a liberal arts major. :dodgy:

Social life is fine, my group of best friends since like, junior high, is still strong; we hang out all the time. Dating is slower, but still not bad. I go on dates with girls I find attractive, texting, flirting, blah blah. My only complaint there, is that I just don't ever seem to find any girls that I'm interested in making something long term with.

However, I'm bored constantly, I have absolutely terrible insomnia, my doctor recently put me back on anti-depressants due to recent "self-destructive behavior" which really just consists of drinking more often than previously, occasionally skipping class and smoking a bowl every few days. (feel free to remove that last bit mods; if you would like.) I'm tired of school, I don't get much pleasure out of doing things anymore, or being productive. I just can't seem to figure out what my deal is and get things back on track. 

Anyways, interested to hear your input.

TL;DR: Sneaky needs to smile and stop whining.

Only if you like sloppy seconds 

 

I'm a full time student (about to be less then full time, read on), I work weekends (also about to change), and during the week I study and try to fit in time with friends.

 

My life is, by all normal counts, pretty nice. I have an amazing support system from my parents and my sister for my decision to go back to school, I have some pretty great friends, I got rid of all existing drama, and I'm, for the most part, a pretty well liked person. I have every material thing I could want within reason, I have my 360, a PS3, a Wii, and a top end laptop, games for all of them, I have countless guitars, every gun that I ever get a whim to buy, and I have very few financial obligations. I have a huge array of hobbies ranging from photography to building my truck, which is coming along nicely.

 

So to most people, I have a great life. But I have a MAJOR issue-I'm both constantly bored and dissatisfied. The dissatisfied part first-I'm 24. To most of you, that's no big deal. But I was raised in a house where, by 19, most people have full time jobs and lived on their own. I'm now back to family reliance (I live with my sister) due to college, and I'm at a constant self esteem battle because of this. I realize that I'm doing the smart thing and furthering my options for the future, but I feel like I'm on a train that doesn't stop until 30, and I have a death fear that I won't have changed lifestyle habits at that point. That's like death to me, it can't happen. I feel like I'm just getting old and my life isn't keeping up with my age number. So I'm constantly at odds between simply dropping college and getting a full time job, or keeping a full time student but dealing with my self esteem issues. This has caused me to act a little rationally as of late, so yesterday I decided to drop my job to PRN (as needed status) to free up my schedule and to motivate me to find a better paying job, and I dropped my Geology class because I just realized I freaking hate Geology. So now I'm not full time, my VA benefits are going to decrease, and I probably just created an unemployment situation for my dumb ass (though there are alot more factors into that than just boredom, but I won't go into them here)

 

And to the boredom part-this is a lifelong battle for me. Surrounded by a plethora of material possessions, I find that I have no interest in any of them. I mean, I could count at least 10 grand worth of possessions in this room alone, without even having to look up from this PC. But these things just add to me sense of pointlessness, and I think it all comes back to what I said earlier-I'm not where I was raised to be at this point in life. It's a notion that you sudy alot in Philosophy, I think Aristotle coined the term Eudaimonia, which  is to say fulfilling your life's purpose. Even though you may be in the process of doing the best you can, you're not there yet, and I think as Americans we're impatient and so we substitute hobbies and material pursuits in place of this sense of fulfillment.

 

My solution has been, as Pntbl pointed out, working out and getting alot more physical. Exercise is a great way of forcing your body to produce natural solutions to your problems, and you'll feel alot more like sleeping at night. On top of that, you'll sleep more soundly.

 

I recommend dropping the drinking habit. Alcohol is a depressant, and whether you realize it or not, you're probably dealing with a small amount of depression right now. I find that boredom and dissatisfaction are the precursor to experiencing rough bouts of depression, and I usually take that point to adjust my physical routine appropriately.

 

I'd cut out caffeine, eat healthier, exercise, and as your body improves your self image and overall sense of satisfaction will as well. Hope that helps.

I don't drink very much - just more than I used to. I probably have either 5-7 shots of whiskey or 5-6 beers during one weekend night; just having fun with my friends. The only caffeine I get is from a Monster every couple of weeks or so when insomnia has been bad and I need to function that day.

 

Its getting warm out, start working out and make yourself look and feel good.

That is not my intention. So here goes...

 

World views shape our culture, as well as ourselves, we see many differences between people based on their views and focus, and mission in life.

 

I have lived the life of "me" in the past. I used women, had more worldly possessions than anyone I knew, I traveled, and had success according to the worlds definition. My friends and I were living the "dream".

 

But, I felt the same way you are describing. Because once you realize that all the material possessions are nothing, your education is nothing, your friends are nothing, your achievements are nothing. Then what is the purpose of life?

 

It is no wonder we see so many messed up people in Hollywood. They have it "all" according to worldly standards.

 

but, are they happy?. Content with their lives?... Do they have peace?

 

All of this goes back to what is the purpose of our lives here on earth.

 

Find the answer to that, and you will find some peace, happiness and rest. I know it changed my focus, drive, and life.

 

 

 

We were all Created to glorify God, and when we try to do otherwise... well, you know where I am going with that...

 

 

On to things that can help you with the here and now without making a heart change.

 

You need to do some work with people that are less fortunate, go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or help widows. Cut grass for the elderly, set aside about 4 hours a week to help others, and do it. That is the fastest way we can help improve ourselves, as helping others just makes a change in you. If we spend our days focused on ourselves, we end up in the rut you are in. As you are only focused on YOU... Study in psychology will tell you that this is not a good long term focus.

 

Anyway, speaking of you, set some goals, where do you want to be in 1 year?, Two years, five years, ten years. And break it down to achieve those goals. WRITE IT DOWN, be specific, measurable, attainable, achievable, and easy to follow. Without goals you are just letting life happen to you, instead of grabbing life and making what you want, happen.

 

In this rut you can hide by using substances, or trying to buy your happiness with possessions, or with women.

 

All of which is fleeting and won't bring true happiness, joy and comfort. It will only bring about more issues, less sleep, and drive wedges between you and your family.

 

The worlds version of success is a fraud, a trap, a focus on nothingness, and pointlessness. The only goal is to focus on yourself and your own pleasure and material possessions. Which is a exercise in futility.

 

I used to think SAD was a bunch of silliness until I looked over it. They can test neurological reactions and output of serotonin as it applies to natural sunlight and temperature in such a way that really quantifies it. 

Unfortunately we all get into ruts. Life just works out that way sometimes.

I'm spending all of spring break camping with my friends and driving around - I figure thats pretty much the best thing I can do right now. Joplin has absolutely nothing for college students to do aside from meth, so I'm slowly going insane, lol.

Also: FE, while I appreciate what I'm honestly sure you meant to be a well meaning response, I've done the Jesus thing, it didn't help me at all. If anything I was worse off because I constantly felt like I was in a giant game/test. I do need to start doing more to be nicer to people though. I feel like the worse I feel, the meaner I get. I seriously feel like House somedays - without the vicoden and medical genius anyways. I walk around making fun of everybody and turn into even more of a narcissist. -.- 

I need a break, just don't know what I need a break from, or how to go about doing that, lol.

When I first saw House and realised it was a big it over the puddle I did wonder whether the majority of Americans knew he was British never mind his history.

I <3 house. UK Top Gear and House are the only shows I ever watch anymore.

And yeah, Rofl, I got some Sennheiser's last year, that I've pretty well fallen in love with. I listen to a lot of music anyways though, not just when I'm down.

I used to ride my bike everyday. Not just from my house to a friend's, we'd spend everyday from school's end, to sundown riding our bikes around aimlessly. Wish I still had all that stamina and lung power. Look's like sneaky may take riding back up.