Strangest bathroom experience ever.
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Topic: Strangest bathroom experience ever.
Posted By: agentwhale007
Subject: Strangest bathroom experience ever.
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:48am
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I've decided to start sharing my experiences in life with you more, like I used to do years ago. And this will be a story. As you may know, I've been working quite a bit these past few weeks on a series of research projects that require me to be somewhere in front of a computer for hours (14 of them yesterday) in a row. I find that I work better in a library than I do at home, where I'm more likely to stay focused on work and less likely to get distracted with an episode of Chopped on the TV. So, off to the library I've been, pretty much every evening for the past two weeks. I also like being in the library later in the evening, as there are fewer people making noise and such. As a side note to this, let me explain the demographics of this library past 11:30 p.m. (It is open 24-hours on most days) Bravecoward can probably attest to this too, as can Uncle Rudder. There are three types of people in the library late at night:
Now, the other evening, I'd say it's about 2:30 a.m., I go to the bathroom to take care of God's business, as they might say. I go into the stall, and begin the process. Shortly after, someone else comes into the bathroom and into the stall next to mine. Which I don't like, but hey, whatever. Then, the person begins making noise. Not like, a poop-moan noise. Which is weird, but we've all been there after trying the mussels at the $6.50 buffet. No, this guy is scream-grunting. I've turned on Discovery Health channel before and seen births where there was less noise than this guy was making. It would start with a dull gurgling, then turn into the sound an Olympic powerlifter makes mid-clean and jerk. It was terrifying. Here I was, just wanting to get my work done, and I'm going to hear someone die. Awesome. Then the sound. It sounded like he had brought a fish aquarium into the bathroom with him and poured it out into the toilet, gravel and plastic castles included. One of the worst sounds I've ever heard. All while continuing to scream-grunt. I hurried my own business and left the stall. I had to get out. As I go to wash my hands, I realize that there is a middle-aged Chinese student standing with his face in the sink. He's just splashing some water on his face, I think to myself. It's almost 3 a.m., I can understand that. Except not. He has turned the water on, and is bent over at the waist, and is smushing his face into the bowl of the sink, shoved his entire head under the faucet, and is letting the water pour over the back of his head. Not making any noise, just letting water pour over him. I left without washing my hands. I used the bottle of hand sanitizer at the desk instead. I think I'm going to start working from home after 1 a.m. from now on.
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Replies:
Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:03pm
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I don't know if I could have refrained from clapping or puking....or both.
------------- ? |
Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:07pm
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How do you NOT record that?...
My cell phone video camera would have been recording at the first grunt. Course I'm always looking for good "answering machine" fodder. ------------- They tremble at my name... 
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Posted By: bravecoward
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:08pm
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I've seen the chinese water thing before ------------- 
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Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:09pm
You're weird.  I don't know if recording that would have ever crossed my mind. The only thing I'd have been thinking about would be getting the hell out. ------------- ? |
FreeEnterprise wrote:Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:25pm
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When I was in college, I had people calling me all the time just to hear my answering machine. I tried to change it everyday.
That was the exact type of thing that was perfect.
Course that was before youtube.
Tell me you wouldn't have clicked if he had recorded the sound and put it on youtube?...
It would have gone viral... ------------- They tremble at my name...
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Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:28pm
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I'd have clicked. ------------- ? |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:35pm
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Would have recorded the screams and thrown them over some industrial techno.
------------- 
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Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:38pm
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Good thing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smell-O-Vision - smell O vision isn't readily available yet... ------------- They tremble at my name...
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Posted By: DaveEllis
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:42pm
They were talking this morning on the radio about how anytime something happens now its a race to put the auto tuned event on the internet.
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Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:43pm
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While working on my senior thesis there was a homeless guy that was in the lab every night at 2 am with a garbage bag filled with Coke caps. He would sit at the computer entering the codes on the caps into Coke's website and then he would put the caps he entered back into the same bag he took them out of.
It wasn't a very efficient process. |
Posted By: High Voltage
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:48pm
I'm so tired of autotune. Someone should man up and bit crush the news. -------------
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Posted By: mbro
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:51pm
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Posted By: scotchyscotch
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:51pm
| Definitely not the strangest bathroom experience ever. Pretty strange, but public bathrooms tend to be pretty strange. I guarantee if you come up with some random incident as ridiculous as possible it has happened in a public bog. |
Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 1:00pm
It is a little box that flashes. Right next to the place you put your wrist watch at night...
Oh wait. ------------- They tremble at my name...
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Posted By: ammolord
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 1:06pm
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Had someone taking a dump and full on screaming the other day while I was at work. It sounded like he was being raped by a red hot spoon. I couldnt help but laugh and try to get out. The things you see/hear in an airport are insane. ------------- PSN Tag: AmmoLord XBL: xXAmmoLordXx ~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~ |
Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 1:13pm
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One of my ex-roomates dated a screamer. It got so annoying that we finally did record it as our outgoing message to get the point across. Awesomeness insued when the girlfriend called and left one of her 20 or so daily stalker messages. Pretty sure it took everything my roomate had to keep a straight face when he told us to change it. ------------- "When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter. |
Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 1:24pm
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Best thing to ever happen to me was while I was an RA in college. I was on the throne, and in walked two people. The voices told me they were two if my residents. Troublemakers. We'd had a suspicion they were doing coke in their room, but could never catch them. The conversation started up between the two of them about their recent 'score', who was coming over, what time they'd be there, and the hell of a party they were going to have that night. I finished up, walked out of the stall and the two of them were still standing there, they had been completely unaware someone else had even been in there, much less me. I walked over, washed my hands and looked up at them, still wide eyed and jaws dropped that they'd just talked about their big plans right in front of their RA. "Hey boys, how's it going?" they mouthed a mumbled reply, and I didn't say anything else while I washed my hands, then I started to leave, and told them. "Well- take it easy, I'll see you later.........about 9:30 right?" and left. They didn't stay in that night, and i didn't see them for almost a week after. ------------- ? |
Posted By: FreeEnterprise
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 1:26pm
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lol... ------------- They tremble at my name...
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Posted By: SSOK
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:38pm
I have come to the conclusion that there are only three types of RA's.
1. Those that live to bust parties and ruin residents' fun.
2. Those that dont care about anything and are merely there for the free housing.
3. Those that are generally "cool" and socialize with residents and let things slide.
------------- 
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Posted By: agentwhale007
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:42pm
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I was most certainly a type two when I was an RA. I couldn't tell you any of their names. I think a few sold drugs or something.
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Posted By: jmac3
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:44pm
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Why is the chinese guy in the sink weird?
------------- Que pasa? 
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Posted By: Reb Cpl
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:47pm
#1 needs to be changed to: The ones that do the job that the college expects them to do in keeping the relative health and safety of the residence hall in place and another category needs to be added: #4, The power hungry idiots who can't see past a rulebook. Not to derail the thread, but I'm fairly confident I fit in #3. I knew who had what and what was going on for the most part, and didn't intervene until there was a threat of bodily or property damage, or if there was a complaint from someone who was having trouble pursuing academic endeavors because of what was going on. That being said- there was a guy that works at one of our clients whom I've seen 2 or 3 times a week for the last year or so. I thought he looked familiar.....yeah, he was one of my residents and I didn't even remember. ------------- ? |
Posted By: agentwhale007
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:54pm
Perhaps I'm strange for never running water over the back of my head in a public restroom.
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Posted By: oldpbnoob
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 3:56pm
------------- "When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter. |
Posted By: Mack
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 4:04pm
------------- 
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Posted By: StormyKnight
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 8:26pm
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Thanks Whale. Great story. I'll be chuckling on and off all night at work tonight thinking about that during slow times. ------------- 
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Posted By: tallen702
Date Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:13pm
Okay, I legit LOL'ed with that one. |
Posted By: Tical3.0
Date Posted: 09 March 2011 at 5:20pm
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I always do my best to take the end stall(unless I've had some wobbly pop then it's fair game) and at work there is only 3 stalls and whenever I go take a leak my manager will stumble in and take the stall right next to me and just whip out a conversation, all while his pants are down to his ankles and his bare ass is hanging out... Did I mention this is my manager. ------------- I ♣ hippies. |