Advice on 18yr old's

OK since most of you are near that generational number a question. Step-daughter is 'going out' with an 18year old, she is 15 to be 16 in July. Again being the Step-Dad, I can advise, but Momma (who is way too polyanna) is the primary decesion maker in that department. In my day such an act of a 'Senior' going out with a 'Sophomore' was not 'approved' by the seniors peer group. I have given this young man the 'Meet the Parents' Jack Byrnes (De Niro) 'V' from eyes watching you motion, just so he understands my view on the situation (not in front of Momma or step-daughter).

My other question is: Is this young man that uncomfortable with girls his age that he has to 'prey' on younger less mature girls. Step-daughter states they broke up, (single facebook status now) but are still 'going out' as friends? He took her to his Prom saturday, and is coming to Easter Dinner here at house Sunday. Also on drop off from Prom, yes I waited up in the tradition 'Dad' roll, a 'hickey' was very evident on the neck of this 'hero', that was not present at 'grandmas house picture session a few hours prior.

My next step is 'you do understand she is a minor child in the State of Nebraska, so ANY funny stuff is by law not consensual, and your cell mates will love your young butt long time' speach. Parents of this young man are disfunctional at best, seperate and got back together ate leat 3 time during the short time step-daughter has known him, so there is another behavior 'red flag' I consider in this whole equation. This young man is also a lot 'lighter in the loafers' than any 18 year old I got off the busses back in my Drill Sergeant days, and has no real 'life plan' per our few courtesy discussions. (She turns up pregnant, he turns up dead, has been tossed around in my Momma conversations)

Thoughts and Opinions from the gallery?

Drop kick his ass into next week.  Seriously.  An 18 year old guy looking to date a 15/16 year old girl?  he doesn't have her safety or best interests in mind. 

I'd have to say 90% of the time that' a bad thing, but I do know a few couples who began dating in high school with that much of an age difference who are still together and happy (probably because they don't have kids).

As someone who is actually in high-school and is 18... Its not that big of a difference. I can see that most girls her age are very immature and all they do is talk about sex. Could just be my school though... Usually if they are under 17, thats what they're in it for and don't know what a real relationship is. I personally wouldn't date anyone that young just for that reason, but I have a couple of friends that do and they either match the maturity level of the said 15 year old girls, or the girls themselves are actually mature. Most of them are not though.

Edited by Rofl_Mao - 18 April 2011 at 5:02pm

Its not that big of a deal. My high school had that, heck, I dated sophomore for a couple days when I was a senior (she was crazy, she is why I stopped posting on facebook any plans or locations). When I was a freshman, a good friend of mine, a girl, started dating a senior guy and they are still together. We are sophomores in college now, so thats about 6 years.

1. Create attractive female profile on Facebook.
2. 'Friend' daughter's boyfriend.
3. Flirt and Seduce daughter's boyfiend.
4. Publicy annouce BF gave you Std
5.....
6. Profit.

Another great idea.

Pay boyfriend 1,000 dollars to go away.
After he acccepts the cash, tell daughter.

1000 up front is better than having a teen mom in the house.

Granted I graduated high school five years ago, a senior dating a sophomore wasn't anything unheard of. There really wasn't much of a stigma or anything. 

Look at it this way, treat him like a kid and that's the reaction/behavior you will see from him. The guy's initial reaction would likely be "up yours, old man, I'll show you." I think we all know "I'll show you!" rarely turns out how we want it to.

Show him some respect, treat him like a man (it will probably surprise him) and you'll have a significantly greater chance for cooperation. You mentioned his family is dysfunctional earlier. Let this be a chance for him to see that's not how life has to be and who knows, he may even look up to you in the end. Just try not to fill his head too full with conservative conspiracies.

I think it depends way more on how your step daughter is than the guy....

I have seen 16 year olds who I am like what are you 12? I have also seen 16 year olds who I thought were my age(few years ago). I am not talking looks, more their maturity/attitude.

Case in point: My step sister. I refuse to believe she is 16 because of how childish she acts ALL THE TIME. Then there is this kid I played paintball with who had a 16 year old girlfriend(he was also 18 and a senior) and I never knew she wasn't at least a senior until he said it one day.

Maybe my school was weird because I went to a technical high school where during shop weeks you have people two grades below you in your shop. 9th and 11th. 10th and 12th. It seemed frequent and normal for a senior to be dating a sophomore.