Your morning, probably better than my morning.

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   Sorry if this post is too gross for the family-friendly forum. If it is, mods, feel free to delete it. 
So, as you may have read from the thread on squatting, for the past few days I've been sick with some kind of stomach flu. I have no idea what it is, but deduction says it is from the amount of post-nasal drip coming from my head and into my digestive track. 

Either way, I feel like I've chugged a gallon of Mexican tap water. 

Last night I was up about every hour to release thine unholy springs from my Netherlands, so by the morning time I was hideously dehydrated. 

Downstairs, I slowly drank a tall glass of Gatorade. 

It settled pretty well, so I decided to take a bit of a risk and eat some Cheerios. 

I attributed my total feeling of awfulness partially to the fact that I'm hypoglycemic, and the only thing I'd managed to keep in my system without it coming out either end was a half of a chicken breast, cooked in the oven and diced up. And that was Monday evening. Everything else since then my stomach has immediately rejected. 

The Cheerios were consumed slowly, testing the digestive waters. 

Things were actually going quite well, from what it seemed. 

Then, I felt the rumblings of another call of Angel Falls needing to exit my lower half, so I scurried upstairs to the bathroom. 

Halfway through that process, my body decided that right then, it was going to reject the Cheerios. I did not have much time to react. 

My options were as follows: 

Stand up and turn around, with my head facing the toilet now filled with my own shame
Find some other place to vomit. 
Seeing as I was concerned that the straining from vomiting could potentially turn the wall behind me into a terrible, nightmarish Jackson Pollock, I realized that staying seated was the only option for positioning. 

Ok, so now what to choose as a receptacle? 

The bathroom garbage can? 

Nope, it's full of assorted bathroom garbage things that never get dumped into the main trash and taken out, and therefore it almost overflowing. Going in that is going to make a bigger mess than I want to deal with.

The only choice I saw was the tub.

So, I leaned over and let loose. 

There I was, evil exiting me from both ends, dizzy from dehydration and gripping the towel rack with whatever strength I had left in order to not slip into the tub. After a few (15) minutes of sitting on the throne and staring at the ceiling, I closed my eyes and almost took a small nap. Or passed out. Not sure.

As far as awful mornings go, I think I may have actually beat Reb on this one.  