My Abduction Story

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Somewhere in Ohio.....

Ok so, last week I was just walkin down the street after hanging out
with my girlfriend at about 2:00 AM when I suddenly found myself
enveloped in a very bright blue light. I then found myself floating
upwards and looked up to see a giant flying saucer with a large round
opening in the middle. They took me in and forced me to lay on a small
metal table. Luckily they were only about 3 and a half feet tall and
around 40 pounds so they couldn't keep me there for long. I got up,
flinging the little gray butt monkeys around the room in my efforts,
and made my way to a hallway. I came upon a small dimmly lit room with
racks of laser blasters on each wall and what appeared to be some sort
of powered armor suit which was, to my dismay only about 3 feet
tall....Luckily, it was also rather light so I pick it and one of the
nifty laser blasters up and headed down the hallway to the brightly lit
room at the end. This room was the cockpit. I forced the two piolets to
land in my back yard and proceeded to blast then into small green piles
of goo before they could contact their mother ship. I subsequently
cleared the entire ship of those nasty little gray guys, save one whom
is now tied up in my basement, and pulled a large tarp over my new toy.
In the next three days I emptied the ship of any books, computers, and
technology that struck my fancy including a universal translator which
came in handy in reading all of the instruction manuals and conversing
with my new, yet captive friend. I have since mastered the art of
telepathy and modified the powerarmor to fit me. I hid the ship at the
bottom of a local lake for future use as well. I haven't decided what
to do with Tork(the captive alien) but He should be able to help me in
my future endevors. By the way, learn this phrase well: "All hail
Empiror Ryan" and get used to the word "Sire". See you soon.

ps

  If anyone has questions for Tork I will gladly ask then relay the answers to you.

Edited by .Ryan