need help about paintball team

umm right your acomplishments like places in tournaments, practice schedual, other sponcors, and give them reasons why they should be giving you stuff.

if you don't have any results and are looking for anything about REDZ its not gonna happen.

i have played in a tiurney all of us have exept for one person and he is does not have hardly any money to inter them  with the team

Mr. Paintfrk7755, I feel that it is my duty to inform you of the following things.  The first letter of the first word in a sentance is always capitalized.    I believe you were trying to use the adverb "right" (notice the gh without an e) to modify the adverb "now".  The use of the conjuntion "and" to seperate more than two clauses is generally not accepeted, and is usually considered a run-on sentence.   It would be best to seperate these clauses with periods.  Lastly, to ensure easier reading and allow easier discernment of a sentence ending, please place a period at the end of each sentence.

Edited by WGP guy2 - 14 November 2006 at 6:01pm

hybrid-sniper wrote: WGP guy2 wrote: Mr. Paintfrk7755, I feel that it is my duty to inform you of the following things.  The first letter of the first word in a sentence is always capitalized.    I believe you were trying to use the adverb "right" (notice the "gh" without an "e") to modify the adverb "now."  The use of the conjunction "and" to separate more than two clauses is generally not accepeted, and is usually considered a run-on sentence.   It would be best to separate these clauses with periods.  Lastly, to ensure easier reading and allow easier discernment of a sentence ending, please place a period at the end of each sentence. Minor. ___ Generally, good sponsors come after tourneys. By after I mean you have to place or win. If he can't afford it, find someone else or get his buns behind a mower or something so he can pay his way.

Figures, that always happens when you try to correct someones English.  However, it is accepted to use double apostrophies around letters such as I did.  Furthermore, I placed the period in the right place.

hybrid-sniper wrote: I am surely misunderstanding but you didn't use quotations around the letters, so I had to put them there. Also, I am correct about the period in the quotation marks. Commas and periods go inside, but other marks do not.

Haha, I interpreted your corrections as highlighting my mistakes.  See, that means I realized my mistakes!

who cares for your help any more

Edited by paintfrk7755 - 14 November 2006 at 8:50pm

what can i do to make it better

redz gives crappy sponsorships to everyone.  try them.

Truth is the truth. That was not a good resume (werk on ur spling, dumees), and you don't have enough good experience to get any worthwhile sponsors yet.

Edited by hybrid-sniper - 14 November 2006 at 9:14pm