I need some serious advice...

   Alright, so I know serious threads are kind of frowned upon around here, much less ones that are what could be called emo, but I need some advice and I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

   My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 5 years now and I've been having some doubts. We got together in highschool and stuff got serious pretty quick. I fell in deep and she became my world within the first few months. A number of months in we started having to deal with her parents and I realized how crappy her home life was and got in that stuggle along side her, which drew us that much closer. Everyone tried to push us apart and there was a lot of drama, but we stuck it out and I ended up getting her out of her house to come live with me and my grandparents when she turned 18. This was all great but for a while now I've been feeling less close to her.

   I should mention that there is a two year age difference here, I'm 21 and she's 19, but lately she has just seemed so young and immature to me. We never were on the same intellectual level, which didn't matter for most of out time together, but now that's starting to bother me too, and that coupled with the immaturity I see makes me feel like we're just a lot farther apart now.

   I've also changed a lot in this time, as you can imagine. I've grown up a lot, I've found myself a lot more, grew into my mind a bit during college, and that has just made our differences bigger. I thrive on intelligent conversation with equals, and right now I'm starving for it. Not to mention I've been developing my hope and dreams and plans for the future and she just sort of hasn't. She has even been kind of reluctant to get a job to help out with the expenses we "share" and to help us get our own place. She says she wants to go to college, but she doesn't know what she wants to do. I'm at the point now that I want to go and try to do big things, and with the way she is and where she's at right now, I don't know if I can take her with me.

   Don't get me wrong, I still love her. I really love her and I can stomach the thought I hurting her at all, especially after all the promises we've made and what we've been through together, but I'm just not happy any more.

    Part of me thinks this is all just a result of some recent stress I've been going through over money and some other stuff and the fact that I don't really have any good friends right now since all mine drifted away after highschool and all of hers seem like idiots to me. If that's the case, and it really isn't about me not being as close to her as I was, then I really don't want to do anything drastic and ruin something that has been building this long. Not to mention hurting her badly. But, at the same time, this has been eating at me, and I'm finding myself being a jerk to her, so I have to address it. 

I feel so confused, sad, and kind of selfish right now and I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I got this all out right. I just need some guidance. Any help would be appreciated.

I sort of tried the other night, but she just got all upset and defensive saying, "you sound like you don't think we should be together"....And I didn't even get much said...

Meh. I just got out of a three year relationship. No regrets.

pffft...you're only 21.

That means you have been going out with this girl since you were 16.

I am surprised it has lasted that long.


You have more years to find another girl who is both mature and intelligent.

Skillet42565 wrote: Talk to her about it...

...forcibly... make her sit and listen and if she cant understand that then o well.. more chickens in the farm or something along those lines... but you have to get her to realize she has to do her own share so that you dont become depressed to the point where you may hurt yourself... mentally... and for the friends part... we'll all be your friends... and try going to things you enjoy doing in your free time and talk to random people and make friends who are interested in the same thing as you... best of luck dude

send her a smiley face.

seeing that tlking to her directly failed, why not write everything on a pad of paper and leave it for her to see while your at work or class so that way she cant say anything back b4 your done talking

Sounds like you need a break from her in some form, keep in mind that she has two years behind you, that can make a big difference in terms of maturity.  It obvious that you two have a very strong relationship formed, and it would really suck for it to end just like that...

I'd say take a week or so break from seeing her, see how that goes, afterwards if you still feel the same way, talk to her, afterwards if that does not go well, it may be time to move on. 

GI JOES SON wrote: Nagash1959 wrote: she just put the cat in the dishwasher or whatever stupid thing she did, then your fine. story time?

IDK wy but i lol'ed hard at this

Ace_Of_Spades wrote: GI JOES SON wrote: Nagash1959 wrote: she just put the cat in the dishwasher or whatever stupid thing she did, then your fine. story time? IDK wy but i lol'ed hard at this

Yeah that was definitely funny.