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Assassin Interview

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Impulse88 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 11 August 2009 at 11:13am

After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assassin position — two men and one woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."

The first man said. "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent replies, "Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.

All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife."

The agent replies "You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair."

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Benjichang View Drop Down
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I pwned Leroy Jenkins!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benjichang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 11:40am
FWD:FWD:FWD

irc.esper.net
#paintball
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 11:43am
Originally posted by Benjichang Benjichang wrote:

FWD:FWD:FWD
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Impulse88 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Impulse88 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 11:46am
Originally posted by Benjichang Benjichang wrote:

FWD:FWD:FWD
 
Really? Well I thought it was funny, hopefully people who haven't seen it will enjoy it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ammolord Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 11:56am
I havnt seen it, so i lol'd.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 11:59am
I laughed as well.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote StormyKnight Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 4:28pm
OLD
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sinisterNorth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 5:06pm
Originally posted by StormyKnight StormyKnight wrote:

OLD
Pumpker'd; (V.) When a pump player runs up and shoots you at point blank range because you thought 20bps made you good.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Destruction Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 5:12pm
OLD:OLD:OLD
u dont know what to do ur getting mottor boatted

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote brihard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 6:02pm
Still funny.


Saying 'FWD:FWD:FWD:' isn't cruise control for cool.
"Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation."

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldpbnoob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 6:19pm
I laughed, so will everyone else that I forward it to.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 August 2009 at 9:04pm
what kind of assassin wouldn't check the magazine before pulling the trigger?
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kayback Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2009 at 1:40am
Hold the gun close enough to the target and the blank will kill them anyway.

Ask Jon-Erik Hexum.

KBK
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strike 1 11/24/08 language

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote adrenalinejunky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2009 at 3:30am
Originally posted by brihard brihard wrote:

Still funny.
Saying 'FWD:FWD:FWD:' isn't cruise control for cool.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glassjaw Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2009 at 10:05am
The desire for polyester is just to powerful.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jmac3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2009 at 5:06pm
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

what kind of assassin wouldn't check the magazine before pulling the trigger?


Exactly, should have been sent back to the kitchen.
Que pasa?


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2009 at 8:01pm
Originally posted by Kayback Kayback wrote:

Hold the gun close enough to the target and the blank will kill them anyway.

Ask Jon-Erik Hexum.

KBK


Or Brandon Lee if you want someone a little less obscure.
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote I<3FE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 August 2009 at 11:23pm
Originally posted by jmac3 jmac3 wrote:

Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

what kind of assassin wouldn't check the magazine before pulling the trigger?


Exactly, should have been sent back to the kitchen.


Where in the joke did it say they took out the magazine?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kayback Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 August 2009 at 2:42am
Eh, I was gonna say Brandon Lee, but it wasn't the blank that killed him. It was the sound engineer.

KBK

Edit, Kefe, there is a visual difference between a blank and a live round. Any real steely eyed killer would have popped the mag to check how many bullets they had, and worked the slide to make sure the gun was actually loaded. Thus negating about 98% of the story.

KBK

Edited by Kayback - 13 August 2009 at 2:44am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 August 2009 at 3:08am
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Originally posted by Kayback Kayback wrote:

Hold the gun close enough to the target and the blank will kill them anyway.

Ask Jon-Erik Hexum.

KBK


Or Brandon Lee if you want someone a little less obscure.


Hey, I knew who he was.
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