Im a millionaire!

"THE UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION
In Conjunction with the International Monetary Fund
WORLD BANK FACT-FINDING & SPECIAL DUTIES OFFICE
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.

Dear Beneficiary,

The United Nations' Fact Finding & Special Duties Office, hereby receives your payment with reference number (not stealing my money ) amounting to US$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States Dollars) with accrued interest. This office was set up to fight against scam and fraudulent activities worldwide, responsible for investigating the legitimacy of unpaid contract, inheritance and lotto winning claims by companies and individuals and directs the paying authorities worldwide to make immediate payment of verified claims to the beneficiaries without further delay, your said payment is being arranged in a Security-proof box weighing 75kg padded with synthetic nylon (US$100 Bills). According to information gathered from the bank’s security computer we were notified that you have waited long enough to receive this payment without success, we also confirmed that you have met all statutory requirements in respect of your pending payment.

This is to congratulate you and officially inform you that your over due payment has been approved for immediate payment by direct cash delivery in your country.

This new method of payment was personal approved because of the fraudulent practices going on in our Apex Bank and most of our Global Payment Centers which have failed to carry out their duties effectively. All you need to do now is to forward immediately the following information:

1) Your Full name and delivery address

2) Direct phone number (Cell phone preferably) and fax number (If any)

3) Age, Sex and Occupation (For application process of the Non residential Tax papers)

Before the departure of your trunk box, we shall process your non-residential tax certificate which will prove that you are the rightful beneficiary of the fund; it will also clear you from tax payment on your contract fund upon the arrival of the cargo.

Note, our commercial Attache / Diplomat will contact you upon the arrival of your consignment before the delivery to your contact address where you will sign the recipient invoice and produce your identification before they hand over your cargo to you.

We wait your response accordingly.

Yours faithfully,

David Ferdinand
Director, Cash Payment Dept."

I'm a potential millionaire 10 or 20 times over as well.  Those silly Nigerians are just begging me to take their money...

The Princess of Nigeria keeps emailing me. I may have to help her escape

You know what, the U.N. randomly mailing out cash in ten million dollar lots could explain why it can't seem to be able to do everything else...

That's interesting but I can't talk now, seems someone attempted to buy something on my Ebay account.

Pfft. You guys got nothing. I can please her for hours and leave her begging for more.

But I got a message from the Oprah Control Group because Oprah wants to help you with your waist line.

How does she know?!

This week's spam e-mail thread here.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular harware and automotive stores. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also October 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 20th, 21st, 23rd, 24th, and 30th three times last Monday and very likely, again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

^I just started locking my money in the glove compartment and carry around a decoy wallet.