Forum President Acceptance Speech

Friends, forumers and fellow interneters.

Thank you for your confidence in electing me as Forum President.  As I know you are all amazingly busy people with important stuff to do* I will keep this fairly short.

In my capacity as Forum President I humbly vow to serve the best interests of the forum in every way possible.  With that in mind I have decided to take inspiration from the great leaders of the past and present.  To this end I will list these inspirational people and their specific traits I will be emulating.

I promise to lead in the following manner.

• With the honesty of Nixon
• The fidelity of Kennedy
• The sobriety of Grant
• The decisiveness of Carter
• The morality of Clinton
• The compassion of Cheney
• The wisdom of Quayle
• The communications skills of Biden
  
• And finally, the consensus building talents of George W. Bush

That is all;

Thank you.




Edited Addition:  I will be taking suggestions for cabinet posts and nominees for those posts at this time.  So far the only cabinet posts I have in mind are minister of making fun of other forums, official forum newb greeter and master judge of political discussions.



*Which is why we are all on here.


Edited by Mack - 03 June 2010 at 5:34pm

^^^Do you have a problem with abusing my enemies/detractors/random people for my personal amusement?

I am willing to accept any positions I am nominated for.

I hereby nominate tallen for position of 'zombie defense coordinator'

I want to head the Department of Forum Marksmanship or be the Forum Hit Man.

Mack,
I changed my mind, I want a command position in the Tippmann Militia. Platoon commander will be fine.

Yomillio wrote: No sir.  Thats what I'm here for.

You're hired.

SSOK wrote:   Mr. President, when do we begin voting people off of the forum? We all have a few individuals in mind.

We won't.  (If we did that; who would we taunt/pick on?)

Benjichang wrote: Reb Cpl wrote: I hereby nominate tallen for position of 'zombie defense coordinator' Seconded. Shorty needs to be Advisor to the Department of Zombie Defense.

Consider it done.  (As long as we redefine zombie to include anyone who mindlessly spouts political rhetoric from the left/right and supports it by linking to obviously biased sources.)

Ceesman762 wrote: I want to head the Department of Forum Marksmanship or be the Forum Hit Man.

You are now the official Tippmann Forum Minister of Marksmanship.  The job description includes enlightening potential paintball snipers as to the error of their ways.

choopie911 wrote: I'm submitting my application for the position of Forum Ambassador to Canada. I have 22 years of experience in the country, and the longest post record on the forum.

While you are obviously highly qualified, given your background as a Canadian the voters would be unsure of where your loyalties lie.  Additionally, I was really looking for a secessionist to fill that position.  You may be the Ambassador to PB Nation instead.

Ceesman762 wrote: Mack, I changed my mind, I want a command position in the Tippmann Militia. Platoon commander will be fine.

Practicing my Carter decisiveness I have decided that you can do both.  Consider the Minister of Marksmanship as an additional duty in addition to commanding the Tippmann Militia.  Your first duty as FMTM (Field Martial, Tippmann Militia) is to form it.  (Try to design some decent uniforms.)

stratoaxe wrote: Call me if you need someone to clean the interns dresses...I have experience. I have to figure out who to call to get an intern first. Also, you'll now need to prove that you are in fact: Not a Hawaiian Muslim. The pertinent personal records are open for viewing at this link. A real black person. Not a claim that it can be proved I have ever made. And hands off my gun. I was thinking of instituting mandatory forum gun ownership.  (And possibly mandatory duels for my own personal amusement.) Also, war with Canada would be great. I agree; which explains the qualifications I am looking for in an Ambassador to that country.

Edited by Mack - 03 June 2010 at 5:33pm

usafpilot07 wrote: I would like to be Secretary of Forum and Minister of Choosing One Member at a time to follow and abuse for 1-2 week periods for a personal characteristic or attribute.(Feel free to come up with a new name for that second one.  Minister of COMAATTFAAF12WPFAPCOA just doesn't roll off the tongue.)

You can be Secretary of Forum.  Consider the second request to be part of the job description under the additional duty title of "Chooser of Random Forum Whipping Boys."

Also, I nominate Whale for the Press Secretary.

Mack wrote: Eville wrote: This is what happens when we try to rush a vote through.  We don't have time to do proper background checks. What is you experience as a warmonger? I believe we should not only declare war on every opponent we can easily demolish but we should taunt them afterwards with stuff like "yoooouuuu don't haaaave an arrrmmmmyyy, becaaaauuuse we traaaaashed it" once we are done. Furthermore I think we should secretly instigate conflicts between small nations that aren't worth our time and sell the news footage on pay-per-view. Wow, now I need someone to set up the second part. Want a job?