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oldsoldier View Drop Down
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Crazy old guy

Joined: 10 June 2002
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Points: 6725 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldsoldier Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Fun Stuff- Depressed
    Posted: 02 November 2010 at 8:45am
WHY I'M DEPRESSED

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses(sp) and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land .

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your arses(sp), and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land.

Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, saving Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline . I had to press 1 for English. I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could

drive a truck......

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oldpbnoob View Drop Down
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Not old, Not noob. May be Dave's grandma

Joined: 04 February 2008
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Points: 5676 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldpbnoob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 8:58am
Ok, so that was a little funny.
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.
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brihard View Drop Down
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Strike 1 - Making stuff up

Joined: 05 September 2004
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Points: 10155 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote brihard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 9:22am
I grinned.
"Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation."

-FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011.

Yup, he actually said that.
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JohnnyHopper View Drop Down
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I.O.U. a punch

Joined: 15 June 2002
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Points: 4664 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JohnnyHopper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 9:44am
Shovel ready work!
My shoes of peace have steel toes.
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Reb Cpl View Drop Down
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Has to say "yes" to "are you a cop?"

Joined: 10 June 2002
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Points: 14210 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:00am
Originally posted by brihard brihard wrote:

I grinned.


Yeah....same.

in b4 no sense of humor.


?
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Gatyr View Drop Down
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Strike 1 - Begging for strikes

Joined: 06 July 2003
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Points: 10300 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gatyr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 10:09am
I found the last line legitimately funny, and could see myself laughing pretty hard if it was presented by someone like Gabriel Iglesias or someone good at manipulating their voice. 

Obligatory "FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: "
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scotchyscotch View Drop Down
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Truly a shining example to you all.

Joined: 09 October 2006
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Points: 1989 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scotchyscotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 1:00pm
"Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses"

I knew there was something wrong with this guy.
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DaveEllis View Drop Down
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back from the dead like Tupac

Joined: 24 October 2002
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Points: 7517 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveEllis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 1:47pm
Originally posted by scotchyscotch scotchyscotch wrote:

"Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses"

I knew there was something wrong with this guy.

I think there'd be a bigger problem if he requested they mount his arse....I think the bible speaks against that.
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stratoaxe View Drop Down
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And my axe...

Joined: 21 May 2005
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Points: 6839 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 2:14pm
Originally posted by scotchyscotch scotchyscotch wrote:

"Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses"

I knew there was something wrong with this guy.
You know there was PMS in the Bible? Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Jerusalem.
 
Big smile
 
Sorry, had to get it on the FWD: FWD: FWD: action.
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choopie911 View Drop Down
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Commie Canuck

Joined: 01 June 2003
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Points: 30773 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 5:15pm
OMG IM OFFENDED, MUSLIMS ARE GOOD PEOPLE AND MOSES DIDNT EXIST!!!! WAHHRHRHRHARRRHGGBGBGBGLLL!!!!


Etc.
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Project Irene View Drop Down
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It really DOES exist!

Joined: 27 January 2004
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Points: 4219 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Project Irene Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:05pm
I lol'd.
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ammolord View Drop Down
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Started from the botttom, not there yet

Joined: 06 July 2007
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Points: 1850 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ammolord Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 November 2010 at 11:10pm
Originally posted by DaveEllis DaveEllis wrote:

Originally posted by scotchyscotch scotchyscotch wrote:

"Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your arses"

I knew there was something wrong with this guy.

I think there'd be a bigger problem if he requested they mount his arse....I think the bible speaks against that.
 
Got a good laugh out of this LOL
PSN Tag: AmmoLord
XBL: xXAmmoLordXx


~Minister of Tinkering With Things That Go "BOOM!"(AKA Minister of Munitions)~
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