Four Loko.

So, my roommate and I were watching the news last Saturday evening, and we saw what was probably the umpteenth story about Four Loko. From the FDA cracking down on them, to college kids exploding their brains with them.

After hearing all the buzz going around about these alcoholic energy drinks, we decided to give them a try before they get the ban-hammer (Which appears to be sooner rather than later).

After a short stop at the local drive-through beer and liquor barn emporium (Still not used to those) we had two of them.

I chose lemonade, my roommate got watermelon.

First, the look of the can:



I can understand why some would be concerned with this. I mean, it looks like an energy drink you grab and gulp down why riding away on your skateboard and yelling "Kowabunga."

I crack the bad boy open and take a gulp.

And it is not very good.

Not at all.

The taste is like if someone took about five of the Crystal Lite individual lemonade packets and dumped them into a can of concentrated Steel Reserve.

I've had Mikes Hard Lemonade before, and other than being way too sweet, they are not terrible.

This was just offensive to every part of my face. The alcohol is way strong and burn-inducing too, so it's not like the alcohol is in any way enjoyable.

Next, I sampled my roommates. Which was a bad idea, because the watermelon flavor was worse than the lemonade.

The best I can describe was that it tasted like I was making out with an alcoholic Jolly Rancher. Super sweet fake flavoring with awful alcohol. 

After rinsing my mouth out with an Old Milwaukee, which was a welcome respite, I decided to go back to my Loko. To my horror, it had warmed up a bit, which took away any of the enjoyable left from the crispness of the lemon flavoring. To solve this problem — and not waste my $2 — I poured mine over ice and put some lemon juice in it.

After I doctored it up a bit, it was not as terrible as it could have been.

Not only that, but after a whole can, you don't even get the fun, relaxing downer of a buzz, because the caffeine starts to make you feel all antsy, like you need to go fist-pump to bad techno music and verbally abuse women.

All in all, one of the least enjoyable things I have tasted in a long time.

However, I suggest you all go out and try one tonight, as the company is pulling them off the shelves and replacing them with a caffeine-free version to appease the critics.

It's something you should at least try once.




Edited by agentwhale007 - 19 November 2010 at 11:45am

The congressional railroading against this makes me LOL.

I'll just stick to the Rockstar Vodka's whenever I feel like Fistpumping snooki's in the face.

Tical3.0 wrote: I'll just stick to the Rockstar Vodka's whenever I feel like Fistpumping snooki's in the face.

Seriously. Vodka and Redbull, or Jager and Redbull, whatever.

Premix alcohol and caffeine in a can? Get that out of here.



 

A few friends and I have partaken in them before just because of the buzz generated by them recently. In no way did they taste any good at all.

If consumed by themselves, they aren't really a problem. It is when you have people doing shots + 5 of these or playing beer pong with them that you have trouble.

Long story short.....people need to smarten up.

You Wont See Me wrote: A few friends and I have partaken in them before just because of the buzz generated by them recently. In no way did they taste any good at all. If consumed by themselves, they aren't really a problem. It is when you have people doing shots + 5 of these or playing beer pong with them that you have trouble. Long story short.....people need to smarten up.

Someone ruined 10 good cups when they used Sparks to play beer pong one night. We washed them out and still couldn't get rid of the smell.

Tical3.0 wrote: Rockstar Energy actually produce a Vodka Tall boy thats like 6.9% for just under 2 bucks each.

Hahaha. Damn. Maybe I'll try one of those. At 6.9 percent it will be less fire-breathing than the Loko.

Malt liquor... Found the problem!

From what I've heard, grape Joose is probably the best varient of the cheap canned caffeine/alcohol drinks. And it too, is pretty terrible.