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I'm in a rut.

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__sneaky__ View Drop Down
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    Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:21pm
I don't often put my problems on these boards, but I feel like most of you have probably been in a similar situation, so I figured I'd get some input.

Anyways, as a few of you know, I own my own photography studio, and go to school full time. My schedule isn't the easiest in the world, but it could also be much worse than it is currently. I'm studying business and fine arts, I've also been kicking around the idea of taking up psychology as a minor; just because it interests me a lot. So again, far less insanity than when I was studying physics, but I'm still not a liberal arts major. :dodgy:

Social life is fine, my group of best friends since like, junior high, is still strong; we hang out all the time. Dating is slower, but still not bad. I go on dates with girls I find attractive, texting, flirting, blah blah. My only complaint there, is that I just don't ever seem to find any girls that I'm interested in making something long term with.

However, I'm bored constantly, I have absolutely terrible insomnia, my doctor recently put me back on anti-depressants due to recent "self-destructive behavior" which really just consists of drinking more often than previously, occasionally skipping class and smoking a bowl every few days. (feel free to remove that last bit mods; if you would like.) I'm tired of school, I don't get much pleasure out of doing things anymore, or being productive. I just can't seem to figure out what my deal is and get things back on track. Confused

Anyways, interested to hear your input.

TL;DR: Sneaky needs to smile and stop whining.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:26pm
Smoke moar
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pntbl freak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:28pm
It happens to everyone at some point.  Do something active like hitting the gym, going for a run or playing sports.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote __sneaky__ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by choopie911 choopie911 wrote:

Smoke moar
Somehow I knew either you or HV would post that. LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote brihard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:35pm
Can I nail you while you're emotionally vulnerable?
"Abortion is not "choice" in America. It is forced and the democrats are behind it, with the goal of eugenics at its foundation."

-FreeEnterprise, 21 April 2011.

Yup, he actually said that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote __sneaky__ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:35pm
Originally posted by brihard brihard wrote:

Can I nail you while you're emotionally vulnerable?
I might prefer it. Heart
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scotchyscotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:37pm
Originally posted by brihard brihard wrote:

Can I nail you while you're emotionally vulnerable?

Only if you like sloppy seconds Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:41pm
I'll respond by relating a little bit of my life to you, and I think you'll find it's a spot that everyone gets to now and then.
 
I'm a full time student (about to be less then full time, read on), I work weekends (also about to change), and during the week I study and try to fit in time with friends.
 
My life is, by all normal counts, pretty nice. I have an amazing support system from my parents and my sister for my decision to go back to school, I have some pretty great friends, I got rid of all existing drama, and I'm, for the most part, a pretty well liked person. I have every material thing I could want within reason, I have my 360, a PS3, a Wii, and a top end laptop, games for all of them, I have countless guitars, every gun that I ever get a whim to buy, and I have very few financial obligations. I have a huge array of hobbies ranging from photography to building my truck, which is coming along nicely.
 
So to most people, I have a great life. But I have a MAJOR issue-I'm both constantly bored and dissatisfied. The dissatisfied part first-I'm 24. To most of you, that's no big deal. But I was raised in a house where, by 19, most people have full time jobs and lived on their own. I'm now back to family reliance (I live with my sister) due to college, and I'm at a constant self esteem battle because of this. I realize that I'm doing the smart thing and furthering my options for the future, but I feel like I'm on a train that doesn't stop until 30, and I have a death fear that I won't have changed lifestyle habits at that point. That's like death to me, it can't happen. I feel like I'm just getting old and my life isn't keeping up with my age number. So I'm constantly at odds between simply dropping college and getting a full time job, or keeping a full time student but dealing with my self esteem issues. This has caused me to act a little rationally as of late, so yesterday I decided to drop my job to PRN (as needed status) to free up my schedule and to motivate me to find a better paying job, and I dropped my Geology class because I just realized I freaking hate Geology. So now I'm not full time, my VA benefits are going to decrease, and I probably just created an unemployment situation for my dumb ass (though there are alot more factors into that than just boredom, but I won't go into them here)
 
And to the boredom part-this is a lifelong battle for me. Surrounded by a plethora of material possessions, I find that I have no interest in any of them. I mean, I could count at least 10 grand worth of possessions in this room alone, without even having to look up from this PC. But these things just add to me sense of pointlessness, and I think it all comes back to what I said earlier-I'm not where I was raised to be at this point in life. It's a notion that you sudy alot in Philosophy, I think Aristotle coined the term Eudaimonia, which  is to say fulfilling your life's purpose. Even though you may be in the process of doing the best you can, you're not there yet, and I think as Americans we're impatient and so we substitute hobbies and material pursuits in place of this sense of fulfillment.
 
My solution has been, as Pntbl pointed out, working out and getting alot more physical. Exercise is a great way of forcing your body to produce natural solutions to your problems, and you'll feel alot more like sleeping at night. On top of that, you'll sleep more soundly.
 
I recommend dropping the drinking habit. Alcohol is a depressant, and whether you realize it or not, you're probably dealing with a small amount of depression right now. I find that boredom and dissatisfaction are the precursor to experiencing rough bouts of depression, and I usually take that point to adjust my physical routine appropriately.
 
I'd cut out caffeine, eat healthier, exercise, and as your body improves your self image and overall sense of satisfaction will as well. Hope that helps.


Edited by stratoaxe - 07 March 2011 at 9:43pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote impulse418 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 9:56pm
Originally posted by choopie911 choopie911 wrote:

Smoke moar
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote __sneaky__ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 10:00pm
Originally posted by stratoaxe stratoaxe wrote:

I'll respond by relating a little bit of my life to you, and I think you'll find it's a spot that everyone gets to now and then.
 
I'm a full time student (about to be less then full time, read on), I work weekends (also about to change), and during the week I study and try to fit in time with friends.
 
My life is, by all normal counts, pretty nice. I have an amazing support system from my parents and my sister for my decision to go back to school, I have some pretty great friends, I got rid of all existing drama, and I'm, for the most part, a pretty well liked person. I have every material thing I could want within reason, I have my 360, a PS3, a Wii, and a top end laptop, games for all of them, I have countless guitars, every gun that I ever get a whim to buy, and I have very few financial obligations. I have a huge array of hobbies ranging from photography to building my truck, which is coming along nicely.
 
So to most people, I have a great life. But I have a MAJOR issue-I'm both constantly bored and dissatisfied. The dissatisfied part first-I'm 24. To most of you, that's no big deal. But I was raised in a house where, by 19, most people have full time jobs and lived on their own. I'm now back to family reliance (I live with my sister) due to college, and I'm at a constant self esteem battle because of this. I realize that I'm doing the smart thing and furthering my options for the future, but I feel like I'm on a train that doesn't stop until 30, and I have a death fear that I won't have changed lifestyle habits at that point. That's like death to me, it can't happen. I feel like I'm just getting old and my life isn't keeping up with my age number. So I'm constantly at odds between simply dropping college and getting a full time job, or keeping a full time student but dealing with my self esteem issues. This has caused me to act a little rationally as of late, so yesterday I decided to drop my job to PRN (as needed status) to free up my schedule and to motivate me to find a better paying job, and I dropped my Geology class because I just realized I freaking hate Geology. So now I'm not full time, my VA benefits are going to decrease, and I probably just created an unemployment situation for my dumb ass (though there are alot more factors into that than just boredom, but I won't go into them here)
 
And to the boredom part-this is a lifelong battle for me. Surrounded by a plethora of material possessions, I find that I have no interest in any of them. I mean, I could count at least 10 grand worth of possessions in this room alone, without even having to look up from this PC. But these things just add to me sense of pointlessness, and I think it all comes back to what I said earlier-I'm not where I was raised to be at this point in life. It's a notion that you sudy alot in Philosophy, I think Aristotle coined the term Eudaimonia, which  is to say fulfilling your life's purpose. Even though you may be in the process of doing the best you can, you're not there yet, and I think as Americans we're impatient and so we substitute hobbies and material pursuits in place of this sense of fulfillment.
 
My solution has been, as Pntbl pointed out, working out and getting alot more physical. Exercise is a great way of forcing your body to produce natural solutions to your problems, and you'll feel alot more like sleeping at night. On top of that, you'll sleep more soundly.
 
I recommend dropping the drinking habit. Alcohol is a depressant, and whether you realize it or not, you're probably dealing with a small amount of depression right now. I find that boredom and dissatisfaction are the precursor to experiencing rough bouts of depression, and I usually take that point to adjust my physical routine appropriately.
 
I'd cut out caffeine, eat healthier, exercise, and as your body improves your self image and overall sense of satisfaction will as well. Hope that helps.
Quite a bit of that relates to me pretty well.

I don't drink very much - just more than I used to. I probably have either 5-7 shots of whiskey or 5-6 beers during one weekend night; just having fun with my friends. The only caffeine I get is from a Monster every couple of weeks or so when insomnia has been bad and I need to function that day.

I have been thinking about taking up exercising, just can't seem to find the motivation to do that lately. ConfusedStill working on that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 10:38pm
If only there was a game you could play that would help you work out frustrations while giving you a good use of your energy.... I dunno.... something that all of us have played at some point in our lives.... Perhaps it would involve small spherical projectiles filled with some foul tasting goop.....




Seriously though. I find that when I get bored/depressed a new hobby always helps, or re-visiting an old one. There's a reason I never sell off all my paintball equipment.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 10:57pm
I know this is a lame suggestion, but maybe try traveling a bit? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 11:21pm
Gym. Running/biking.
 
Its getting warm out, start working out and make yourself look and feel good.


Edited by SSOK - 07 March 2011 at 11:21pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ammolord Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 4:19am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote __sneaky__ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 7:30am
Originally posted by agentwhale007 agentwhale007 wrote:

I know this is a lame suggestion, but maybe try traveling a bit? 
I'd love to do that, but unfortunately, while I'm not strained financially, I'm also not well funded enough to be able to do much travelling. Ouch
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Run away from anyting other than bupropion. PSSD is worse than depression.

(Either that or try switching to haloperidol, it's like they took Halo and made it a pill....honest ;)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FreeEnterprise Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 8:33am
How do I respond without coming across snarky, or harsh...
That is not my intention. So here goes...
 
World views shape our culture, as well as ourselves, we see many differences between people based on their views and focus, and mission in life.
 
I have lived the life of "me" in the past. I used women, had more worldly possessions than anyone I knew, I traveled, and had success according to the worlds definition. My friends and I were living the "dream".
 
But, I felt the same way you are describing. Because once you realize that all the material possessions are nothing, your education is nothing, your friends are nothing, your achievements are nothing. Then what is the purpose of life?
 
It is no wonder we see so many messed up people in Hollywood. They have it "all" according to worldly standards.
 
but, are they happy?. Content with their lives?... Do they have peace?
 
All of this goes back to what is the purpose of our lives here on earth.
 
Find the answer to that, and you will find some peace, happiness and rest. I know it changed my focus, drive, and life.
 
 
 
We were all Created to glorify God, and when we try to do otherwise... well, you know where I am going with that...
 
 
On to things that can help you with the here and now without making a heart change.
 
You need to do some work with people that are less fortunate, go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or help widows. Cut grass for the elderly, set aside about 4 hours a week to help others, and do it. That is the fastest way we can help improve ourselves, as helping others just makes a change in you. If we spend our days focused on ourselves, we end up in the rut you are in. As you are only focused on YOU... Study in psychology will tell you that this is not a good long term focus.
 
Anyway, speaking of you, set some goals, where do you want to be in 1 year?, Two years, five years, ten years. And break it down to achieve those goals. WRITE IT DOWN, be specific, measurable, attainable, achievable, and easy to follow. Without goals you are just letting life happen to you, instead of grabbing life and making what you want, happen.
 
In this rut you can hide by using substances, or trying to buy your happiness with possessions, or with women.
 
All of which is fleeting and won't bring true happiness, joy and comfort. It will only bring about more issues, less sleep, and drive wedges between you and your family.
 
The worlds version of success is a fraud, a trap, a focus on nothingness, and pointlessness. The only goal is to focus on yourself and your own pleasure and material possessions. Which is a exercise in futility.
 
They tremble at my name...
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Become a volunteer firefighter.

Nothing will snap a stale routine like having to haul yourself out of bed at 2am to convince a house not to burn down.

After I got out of college I was plagued with a "Well now what?" feeling. It wasn't quite a rut, but it could have led there. I maintain that the second best thing I've ever done in my live was volunteer as a firefighter. (first was starting a family) It gives you a chance to DO something, its physical work, and unlike working at a soup kitchen, you get to give back to a community without having to smell homeless people all day.

Plus, it doesn't cost you a dime, with the exception of possibly annual membership fees to a department.


Edited by Reb Cpl - 08 March 2011 at 8:43am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JohnnyHopper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 8:44am
Originally posted by Reb Cpl Reb Cpl wrote:

Become a volunteer firefighter. Nothing will snap a routing like having to haul yourself out of bed at 2am to convince a house not to burn down. After I got out of college I was plagued with a "Well now what?" feeling. It wasn't quite a rut, but it could have led there. I maintain that the second best thing I've ever done in my live was volunteer as a firefighter. (first was starting a family) It gives you a chance to DO something, its physical work, and unlike working at a soup kitchen, you get to give back to a community without having to smell homeless people all day. Plus, it doesn't cost you a dime, with the exception of possibly annual membership fees to a department.


Are the skin grafts still gratis?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 9:25am
Originally posted by JohnnyHopper JohnnyHopper wrote:

Originally posted by Reb Cpl Reb Cpl wrote:

Become a volunteer firefighter. Nothing will snap a routing like having to haul yourself out of bed at 2am to convince a house not to burn down. After I got out of college I was plagued with a "Well now what?" feeling. It wasn't quite a rut, but it could have led there. I maintain that the second best thing I've ever done in my live was volunteer as a firefighter. (first was starting a family) It gives you a chance to DO something, its physical work, and unlike working at a soup kitchen, you get to give back to a community without having to smell homeless people all day. Plus, it doesn't cost you a dime, with the exception of possibly annual membership fees to a department.


Are the skin grafts still gratis?


Oh absolutely. And you get a deal on pressure garments too.
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