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I need some jokes

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MeanMan View Drop Down
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    Posted: 07 March 2011 at 1:32pm
For my spanish class we are covering a comedy unit and we shared some of the jokes we all had last class...they were all pretty bad.

Im not a very good joke-teller, so I figured Id ask you guys for some jokes that are kinda simple, but still funny.

I need one in english and two in spanish. I can always translate over some english ones, but sometimes they lose their comedy. I figured I would try to find some spanish ones online though (arent that many clean ones).

Any help? Of course they have to be clean and such. Its a college class, but the professor wants them to be "correct"

hybrid-sniper~"To be honest, if I see a player still using an Impulse I'm going to question their motives."
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GroupB View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GroupB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 1:34pm
What's green and has wheels?  Grass, I lied about the wheels.
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SSOK View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 1:44pm
Womens rights.
 
or
 
Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
Being raped.
 
 
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procarbinefreak View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote procarbinefreak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 1:55pm
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...


LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!
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scotchyscotch View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scotchyscotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 5:24pm
Guy 1: My dog has no nose.
Guy 2: How does he smell?
Guy 1: Bloody awful!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
......

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!
....

Don't worry, I'm here all week.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 6:28pm
Originally posted by GroupB GroupB wrote:

What's green and has wheels?  Grass, I lied about the wheels.


what's brown and sticky?


....a stick.


a family of tomatoes is walking down the street one day, and the baby tomato is lagging behind. His father gets fed up with telling him to join the rest of the family that he runs back to the lagging baby, stomps on his head and yells 'NOW KETCHUP!'


?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 6:59pm
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scotchyscotch View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scotchyscotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 7:06pm
Originally posted by Reb Cpl Reb Cpl wrote:

Originally posted by GroupB GroupB wrote:

What's green and has wheels?  Grass, I lied about the wheels.


what's brown and sticky?


....a stick.


a family of tomatoes is walking down the street one day, and the baby tomato is lagging behind. His father gets fed up with telling him to join the rest of the family that he runs back to the lagging baby, stomps on his head and yells 'NOW KETCHUP!'



Fox force 5!

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
...
..




Dr dre.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 March 2011 at 7:25pm
Originally posted by scotchyscotch scotchyscotch wrote:


What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
...
..
Dr dre.


Okay, I lol'ed a bit.

Since it's Spanish class.....

How do you fit 100 Mexicans in a phone booth?

Use a blender.

How do you get them out?

Tostidos!
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merc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote merc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 12:10am
^wow thats great, so telling that at work tomorrow...
saving the world, one warship at a time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BearClaw Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 2:02am
Why cant the blond count to 70???



Cause 69's a mouthful already
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JohnnyHopper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 8:31am
If it's spanish class, you have to tell some iteration of why any other non-english speaking nationality is like a cue ball.


The classics are the best, and you're almost guaranteed an A.

Edited by JohnnyHopper - 08 March 2011 at 8:33am
My shoes of peace have steel toes.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 11:00am
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
 
Give the (female dog) a shovel!
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MeanMan View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MeanMan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 March 2011 at 5:40pm
Haha, ohhh I think many of these would go over very well....

If I didnt have the same professor for the civilization class next semester, I would think about some of these...

hybrid-sniper~"To be honest, if I see a player still using an Impulse I'm going to question their motives."
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