Twisted wishes

You post a wish. The next person finds a way to grant that wish but twist or pervert it and then posts one of their own. Quote the wish to be granted to keep it clear. Bonus points for creativity.

Example:
Wish - I wish I had all the money in the world.

Wish granted - All worldy money comes to you, crashing the global economy and launching the world into chaos. Your money means virtually nothing.


My wish: I wish I had perfect health.

-ProDigY- wrote: My wish: I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish i had a girl that looked good, I would call her.

Granted - You develop a hormone disorder, you can play ball (but not well) and your girl has stopped answering her phone.

Wish: I wish I could read/write/speak all languages.

Reb Cpl wrote: I wish I was home sleeping.

Granted - Work passes you up for a promotion you would have gotten had you been there.

Wish - I wish for an honest government.

Edited by reifidom - 12 September 2007 at 8:55am

Da Hui wrote: reifidom wrote: Reb Cpl wrote: I wish I was home sleeping. Granted - Work passes you up for a promotion you would have gotten had you been there. Wish - I wish for an honest government. Granted - You get an honest government and you are hit buy a bus. Wish - I wish a had a succesfull life.

Granted - you have a successfull life but you only live to 30

Wish - I wish I had a 12" penis

carl_the_sniper wrote: Wish - I wish I had a 12" penis

Granted - You get one in the mail.

Edit:

Da Hui wrote: Wish - Kanye West to go away.

Granted... just granted.


Wish - I wish I could predict the movements of the stock markets.

Edited by reifidom - 12 September 2007 at 10:46am

carl_the_sniper wrote: Wish - I wish I had a new ferrari in good condition

Granted - You become the latest target of a 16 year old in a 1973 Gremlin.

Wish - I wish for infinite wisdom.

Granted.  You wasted your wish.

I wish for a loving family and plenty of money


Edited by Skillet42565 - 12 September 2007 at 11:19am

Granted - Your Family will move out on you, and your 401K will belly up faster then Enron.

Wish - This will be the last Company I work for.

Skillet42565 wrote: Granted.  You wasted your wish. I wish for a loving family and plenty of money

Granted - Money corrupts your family and they all die in a murder-suicide.

Wish - I wish I did 9/11

Kingtiger wrote: Wish: I wish for more paintball gun parts/gear.

Granted:  You receive a shipping container filled with paintball gear.

However, it all becomes illegal to use because of Smart Parts lawsuits.  Additionally, the people at SP fixate on you as the cause of all their problems and stalk you constantly, having you arrested and sent to jail* every time you use the aforementioned gear.

Wish:  I wish I had better study habits.**

*Where bad things happen to you.
**Which is what I should be doing instead of posting.

Edited for additional wishes that showed up above while I was working on the first one:

carl_the_sniper wrote: Wish - I wish I did 9/11

Granted:  However, you had the misfortune to survive and be taken into custody by the CIA.  You eventually wind up in Abu Ghraib; which, in this version of events, was never discovered/shutdown and live to a ripe old age there.

Panda Man wrote: Wish - I Wish I had that Mak90 I saw at Cabelas.

Granted:  However, you failed to note the small sign on it at the store that said "fragile non-firing replica."  Despite this, you decide to use it as a display but accidentally break it while attempting to hang it on the wall.


Edited by Mack - 12 September 2007 at 11:43am