Smart Ass Answers

>>THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006
>>
>>SMART ASS ANSWER #6
>>
>>  It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
>>  "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in
>>front.
>>"What are my choices?" John asked.
>>"Yes or no," she replied.
>>
>>SMART ASS ANSWER #5
>>
>>  A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
>>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
>>his trench coat and flashed her.
>>Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
>>stub."
>>
>>SMART ASS ANSWER #4
>>
>>  A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
>>she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
>>  She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
>>  The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>>
>>SMART ASS ANSWER #3
>>
>>  The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
>>rolled down his window.
>>"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
>>  When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
>>without a ticket.
>>
>>SMART ASS ANSWER #2
>>
>>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
>>reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
>>Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck
>>under the bridge.
>>Cars are backed up for miles.  Finally, a police car comes up.
>>The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands
>>on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
>>gas."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
>>
>>  A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
>>
>>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
>>I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury, illness, or
>>a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
>>whatsoever!"
>>
>>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
>>would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
>>sexual exhaustion?"
>>
>>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
>>When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
>>shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the
>>exam with your other hand."


Sorry for the FWD, they made me lol though...

heh... i was in a car with a friend who used the "i got here as fast as I could" line.  He's a criminal justice student and knew the sheriff that pulled him over. 

twas great.

FWD:FWD:FWD:

Scout: Yeah, I noticed that, still funny though...

HV: I already acknowledged that and apologized. So I lose 0 Internetz and you lose at least 1/2 for posting that anyway. Boo ya.

But yeah, I can't decide if I like number 3 or number 1 better. Of course, these are all 100x funnier if they actually happened....

.Ryan wrote: Scout: Yeah, I noticed that, still funny though... HV: I already acknowledged that and apologized. So I lose 0 Internetz and you lose at least 1/2 for posting that anyway. Boo ya. But yeah, I can't decide if I like number 3 or number 1 better. Of course, these are all 100x funnier if they actually happened....

You can't dictate your own ratio of internetz loss/win.


You lose -5 internetz for thinking you can.

Hah I loved #1.

High Voltage wrote: FWD:FWD:FWD:

Lawl the last one was on Bash one time.

Stupid liars.

I giggled at all of them.

*Stealth* wrote: High Voltage wrote: *Stealth* wrote: .Ryan wrote: Scout: Yeah, I noticed that, still funny though...HV: I already acknowledged that and apologized. So I lose 0 Internetz and you lose at least 1/2 for posting that anyway. Boo ya.But yeah, I can't decide if I like number 3 or number 1 better. Of course, these are all 100x funnier if they actually happened.... You can't dictate your own ratio of internetz loss/win.You lose -5 internetz for thinking you can. Exactly, luser does not determine how much they lose, or how much others lose.I win two for whale quoting my fwd's. I was going to award you 2 internetz, but you went and did the same thing .ryan did by awarding yourself internetz.Now my tubes are clogged.Jerk.

Good luck finding a store that is open this time of night that sells internetz drano...